Self Storage Page #2

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

- OKAY.

LET'S JUST GET SOMETHING

STRAIGHT, OKAY?

PERSONALLY,

I DON'T GIVE A F***

ABOUT YOUR POLITICS.

THIS ISN'T COMING

FROM ME ANYWAY.

I'M JUST FOLLOWING ORDERS.

YOU OUGHT TO KNOW

WHAT THAT'S LIKE.

I DIDN'T ACCELERATE

THIS SCHEDULE.

IT--IT'S OUT OF MY HANDS.

- OKAY.

EVERYTHING YOU NEED.

BUT I WANT THE WHOLE PAYMEN TONIGHT, CASH.

THE RISK IS JUST TOO HIGH.

- FINE. DEAL.

F***!

WHATEVER.

JUST REMEMBER THIS:

IT IS A LOT OF MONEY.

IT IS A LOT OF F***ING MONEY.

SO LET'S NOT ROCK THE BOAT.

JUST GET IT DONE,

OKAY?

- OKAY, A**HOLE.

- DID YOU JUST F***ING

HANG UP ON ME?

YOU F***ING COCKSUCKER.

[knocking]

- COME IN.

HEY, PAL.

LET'S CHECK ON THAT NEW LIVER,

HUH?

HERE WE GO.

- RIGHT.

[sighs]

OKAY, NO DISCOLORATION.

NO SIGHS OF INFECTION.

- MM-MM.

- NOT BAD FOR A MAN WHO WAS

SUPPOSED TO DIE IN WADE CITY.

- WELL, YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU'RE

ON THE RIGHT SIDE,

NOTHING KILLS YOU.

- OKAY, SO...

[clears throat]

ANY PAIN AT ALL?

- UH, JUST THE USUAL.

- YOU'RE GETTING REALLY GOOD

AT PAIN THERE, TREVOR.

- WELL, IT'S JUST LIKE PRISON.

IT ONLY HURT THE FIRST TIME.

- EH, HOO-HOO,

THAT'S ATTRACTIVE.

[both chuckling]

HEY, MAN, GOOD JOB.

- LIKEWISE.

SO TELL ME,

DO WE HAVE GOOD NEWS TODAY?

- [clears throat]

SOME GOOD,

SOME BAD.

- I'LL TAKE THE BAD NEWS FIRST.

[playful hip-hop music]

- WHAT Y'ALL LOOKING AT?

[together]

WEIRDO.

- JAKE AND BAKE,

WHAT'S GOOD, BABY?

MAN, GET THE F***

OFF THE TRUCK!

- SORRY, DUDE.

- LOOK, MAN, I REALLY THINK

YOU SHOULD CONSIDER

RECONSIDERING THE SITUATION.

- THIS SUCKS.

WE FINALLY GET INVITED

TO A PARTY,

AND IT GETS MESSED UP.

- YEAH, I CAN'T BELIEVE

YOUR SISTER:

WAS GONNA LET US GO TO THAT.

- MY MOM MADE HER.

- ALL RIGHT.

- LOOK, HOMEY,

WE'RE SUPPOSED

TO GO TO MATT'S PARTY,

BUT THEN HIM AND JESSICA

ARE FIGHTING,

AND GOT SHOT DOWN TO SH*T.

- NOT MY PROBLEM.

- DUDE, LISTEN TO ME.

I GOT BOODLES FOR DAYS,

AND I GOT A KEG.

AND I GOT A PACK OF THAT LOUD

THAT YOU HAVE NEVER EVEN SMELLED

IN YOUR LIFE,

BUT I GOT NO PLACE TO GO.

- SO WHAT THE F***

DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?

- OH.

OH, ALL RIGHT,

SO IT'S LIKE THAT, THEN?

- NO, IT'S NOT LIKE THAT.

LOOK, I GOT A LITTLE BI OF WEED.

I'M GOOD.

- NO, NO,

I GOT YOU.

I GET IT.

I MEAN, WHAT WAS I

REALLY THINKING:

TRYING TO GET YOU LAID

AT YOUR BORING ASS JOB?

- LAID? WHAT LAID?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN,

LAID?

- WELL, IT DOESN'T SEEM TO ME

AS IF SARA-MARIE BEING

IN MY VICINITY:

AT THIS VERY MOMENT IS OF ANY

CONCERN TO YOU AT THIS POINT.

- YOU ARE SO FULL OF SH*T,

KID.

- CALL MY BLUFF, SON.

- OKAY.

UM, LET ME TALK TO HER.

- SHE'S OUTSIDE THE PIZZA SPO WITH VALERIE RIGHT NOW.

- WHO THE F*** IS VALERIE?

- HEY, LADIES.

CAN Y'ALL HAVE MY BABIES?

- COME ON, LET ME TALK

TO SARA-MARIE.

- I TOLD YOU, SHE'S A THE PIZZA SPOT WITH VALERIE.

- OH, THAT'S RIGHT.

SHE'S IN THE PIZZA SPO WITH VALERIE.

HEY, RIP, GUESS WHAT?

- WHAT?

DOUCHEBAG.

[heavy rock music]

- [shouting gibberish]

YEAH.

YEAH.

[gun clicks]

OOH.

- I'M GRIPPING MY SHIR NOT TO FALL TOO SOON

I'M BALKING TO BLOCK

HOW I STALK:

WHAT I WANT:

WHEN I STOOP,

I CAN LOSE:

WHAT I NEED TO COCOON

- [sniffs]

- MOUNTAINS TO CLIMB

BUT I AM INCLINED

TO LET MY BONES GRIND

FEELING LIKE:

THEY'LL NEVER UNWIND

I'M OUT THE DOOR

LOOKING FOR MORE

IN MY MIND:

ASKING ANYONE:

EVERYONE:

HOW THE F***

DO YOU GET BY:

JUST SLIDE:

WON'T YOU SLIDE

[guns clicking]

AND FEEL WHAT IT FEELS

TO BE USED:

[guns clicking]

FEEL WHAT IT FEELS

TO BE USED:

TO BE USED:

[gun clicks]

- TREVOR, THIS IS JAKE.

COME BACK.

JAKE REQUESTING KEY

TO DUMPSTER.

OVER.

TREVOR.

- TREVOR,

AFTER TOMORROW MORNING,

THERE WILL BE NO MORE

SELF STORAGE.

- FULL RETIREMENT?

- ABSOLUTE FULL RETIREMENT.

FOR SELF STORAGE AND FOR US.

WON'T BE ANY NEED

FOR IT ANYMORE AFTER TOMORROW.

DONE.

- WHAT ABOUT YOUR BOY JAKE?

- [inhales deeply]

AH, JAKE.

WE CUT HIM LOOSE.

- DOUCHEBAG.

- I STILL DON'T SEE

WHY WE HAVE TO GO AWAY?

- AH, TREVOR.

BUDDY...

OUR LAST MISSION'S ALREADY PU SELF STORAGE ON SOME RADARS.

IT'S BEST WE DISAPPEAR,

MAYBE FOR GOOD THIS TIME.

- SO THIS IS IT?

IT'S REALLY HAPPENING?

- THIS IS IT, PAL.

DEATH BEFORE SURRENDER,

OLD FRIEND.

- F*** IT.

BRING EVERYTHING YOU GOT.

MIDGETS, SIDESHOW,

CLOWNS.

BRING A GODDAMN ELEPHANT.

I DON'T GIVE A F***.

IF WALT CATCHES US,

I'LL TELL HIM

IT'S A RETIREMENT PARTY--

IN HIS HONOR.

I'LL, UH...

I'LL GET THE PLACE READY.

HEYS!

[tinny dance music playing]

- [laughing]

WHERE'S THIS PARTY AT?

YOU GIRLS READY TO HIT THIS?

- YEAH.

[chortles]

[tinny dance music

plays again]

- REALLY SHOULD HAVE GONE

TO THE CLUB TONIGHT.

- ARE YOU--

YOU GONNA GET THAT OR WHAT?

- OH, IT'S MATT.

I'M NOT DEALING RIGHT NOW.

UM, WHAT DO YOU WORMS

THINK YOU'RE DOING?

- WHAT?

- TRUNK IT.

- YOU'RE SUCH A B*TCH.

- [laughing]

- LOOKS LIKE WE FIN

TO HAVE A PARTY AFTER ALL!

LET'S GO!

WHOO!

- WHOO-HOO!

[engine turns over]

- BLOW ME.

OKAY.

[rock steady rhythmic music]

OKAY.

[spray cans hissing]

- OKAY, BOYS, WE ALL SE FOR OUR LITTLE FIELD TRIP?

- YEAH, LISTEN.

I GOT THIS THING MAPPED UP

AND PLANNED OUT,

RIGHT DOWN TO THE MINUTE

THAT WE GET PAID.

- BATTERIES IN THE BACK

GOOD FOR A DAY AND A HALF

AFTER WE GET THE F***

OUT OF DODGE.

- ALL RIGHT, PLENTY OF TIME,

PLENTY OF TIME.

- SO WHO'S THIS GUY AGAIN?

- YOU ASK TOO MANY F***ING

QUESTIONS, YOU KNOW THAT?

- HEY, HEY, HEY.

HEY, MUMBO,

JUST STOP, STOP.

IT'S OKAY.

IT'S ALL RIGHT.

smack!

- OH!

- NORMALLY, THE NEW GUY

IS NOT SUPPOSED:

TO ASK QUESTIONS.

BUT SINCE YOU ASKED NICELY,

I WILL TELL YOU.

THIS GUY IS KNOWN AS...

THE MAJOR.

I DON'T KNOW.

HE'S SOME F***ING FORMER

BLACK OPERATIVE ON A CRUSADE.

HE'S DEFINITELY A LITTLE

POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER,

"KILL YOUR WHOLE FAMILY" STYLE

F***ED IN THE HEAD,

BUT HE'S GOOD.

SPECIALIZES IN ABDUCTIONS

HE SETS UP IN THESE

STORAGE FACILITIES.

IT'S REALLY F***ING CREEPY,

BUT HIS SH*T...

HIS SH*T IS THE BEST.

- THAT'S WHY

WE'RE GOING IN THERE.

- THAT'S RIGHT.

JUST A MATTER OF TIME

BEFORE THE SH*T GOES DOWN,

AND WHEN IT DOES GO DOWN,

I DON'T REALLY GIVE A F***,

'CAUSE WE'RE GONNA BE LONG GONE.

JUST HOPE HE CAN ROLL

WITH THE PUNCHES UNTIL THEN.

- THAT GUY...

- HEY.

- NEEDS TO WORK

ON HIS EMPLOYER-EMPLOYEE

COMMUNICATION SKILLS.

- YEAH.

- HE'S A DICK.

- [voice-over] YOU SEE

ALL THOSE CAMERAS I HAVE HERE?

YOU THINK THEY'RE

FOR DECORATION?

- INSTANT ELECTRIC STORM.

[camera clicks]

LET'S GO FOR TOTAL BLACKOUT.

[whooshing]

[lights clicking]

[alarm buzzing]

[alarm beeping]

[shower hissing]

[people screaming]

YES!

[people screaming]

[people screaming]

[people screaming]

- [snoring]

[rhythmic ringtone blaring]

- [sighs]

OH.

YEAH?

- HEY.

- WHAT'S HAPPENING?

- WE'RE COMING TONIGHT.

- THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE.

- NO, IT'S NOT IMPOSSIBLE.

WE'RE LEAVING RIGHT NOW.

WE'LL BE THERE AT DAWN.

- WHAT IF I SAID NO?

- WHAT IF YOU SAID NO?

WELL, THEN I WOULD SAY,

"I THINK YOU'RE MAKING

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