Semen, a Love Sample

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The day I was born

is etched upon the minds

of all Spaniards.

Not because it was the day

I came into the world,

but because my mother

went into labor when...

People of Spain...

Franco...

He's dead! He's dead!

Dead?

Franco.

Franco's dead.

-And my baby?

-Your baby's fine.

Such a coincidence

was interpreted by my parents

in diametrically opposed ways.

For my mother, an incurable optimist,

it was a sign.

Her son heralded a new age

and also brought good luck.

My father,

an incurable pessimist,

said I was born unlucky.

With all the excitement,

if it hadn't been

for him...

This first view

of the world upside down

marked me for life.

I was always terrified of not having

my feet firmly on the ground.

And they weren't.

For my father grabbing my leg

like that left me with one leg

slightly longer than the other.

It didn't show,

but my mother

had wanted a perfect baby.

She took me to the best

traumatologist in town,

but all he did was traumatize me.

He wasn't interested in my legs.

He was more interested

in Mother's.

...And here in New York the terrible

news has been confirmed. Five shots

fired by a fanatical madman

have claimed

John's life.

people are shocked...

-Emilio.

-John Lennon's been murdered.

-Listen...

-John Lennon!

The idol of our youth!

Don't you understand?

It's the end of an age!

And the end of our marriage too.

I'm leaving you.

So in 1981,

as the world said

goodbye to John Lennon,

my mother said goodbye

to me forever.

You should be happy, my son.

Thanks to you Ive found

the love of my life.

What about Dad?

He'll manage.

He's a big boy.

But Dad was devastated.

He felt as if

he'd lost everything.

His youth, his wife...

Everything but

his last refuge... his job.

Oh, didn't l tell you?

My father was the Weather Man.

His forecasts were as popular

as his chestnut curls

and his Buenos Aires accent.

So this Easter the weather will be

fine across the whole country.

Im so certain that you'll be able

to enjoy the sun, sea and sand

that if it rains,

Ill shave all my hair off.

So even the weather

turned against him.

He was like Samson.

With his hair he lost all

his strength and what little life

was left in him.

With a depressive father and a manic

mother who abandoned me

at the age of 6.

l soon came to the conclusion

that life is chaos

and decided to dedicate the rest

of my life to combating it.

This is me.

24 years, 7 months,

14 days and 4 hours later.

Every day I cycled to work,

in the struggle to combat

the sedentary lifestyle.

My muscles, my intestines,

my brain and my heart

all working like a clock.

Are you all right?

Yes, l think so.

Sorry.

It was my fault.

Can l help you?

It's okay, thanks.

-Goodness, Serafin! 5 minutes late.

-Two and a half.

Start being unpunctual

and you might turn human.

Stage one of

in vitro fertilization.

Extraction of ova.

24 years old.

A young patient, good.

What's she like?

Cute. Her name's Ariadna.

She's very nice.

Sweet, pretty.

10 little ova

-like 10 little suns.

-Let's start.

There it is.

Let me see.

Perfect.

That's done.

Good.

Wasn't that easy?

It went very well.

You've got...

beautiful... ova.

Excuse me.

May l come in?

Can l see

what you do with my ova?

Id really like to see.

Come and put this on.

That one's ready

for fertilization.

Its... incredible.

You like it?

The best is yet to come.

Let's see now...

Here we are. Sperm XZ322.

l don't want to know.

l don't want to know

the father's name.

That's just an alphanumeric

-code.

-l don't want to hear that either.

The father doesn't exist.

He has to be anonymous.

Of course, of course.

lf the child asked you,

what would you say?

''Your father was a B44''?

Best not to know anything.

Right.

lf you'll just

let me...

The sperm there...

There we are...

and we let them do their job.

Look.

Look how they move!

As if they were dancing.

Yes...

Back into the incubator.

And we wait for each little ovum

to be penetrated

by a spermatozoon

to give us fertilized ova.

in other words, embryos.

From which

we choose the best

for...

for... transfer to your uterus.

It's fantastic.

Like magic.

It may look like magic

but it's science.

The science of love.

What does an embryo look like?

It must be incredible.

Well, it looks like...

an embryo.

Dad.

What are you doing?

Thank goodness.

l thought Id lost it.

Put it down there.

This place is like a pigsty.

It looks okay to me.

Look...

This makes 4 eggs in a week.

Bad for your cholesterol levels.

I won't tell you again.

l don't want anybody

counting my eggs, okay?

Look! Look!

How can you spend

all day watching disaster clips?

What about you

making babies

as if they were cars?

Dad, what I do is about progress.

Disaster and progress

go hand in hand.

With the first boat

came the first shipwreck.

Look at that!

A whole church sky high!

Well, out with it.

-What?

-What do you mean ''what''?

With what's on your mind.

You never come in here

to watch TV with me

with that look on your face.

l met a girl...

A patient at the clinic.

Im preparing an embryo

for transfer to her...

Nice?

Very nice,

with excellent cellular division.

l meant the girl!

The girl, not her eggs!

She is...

perfect.

Too bad, son.

You're headed for disaster.

Why?

Because l like a girl?

Love's supposed to be...

A disaster. What do a woman

and a hurricane have in common?

They come to you

warm and wet and leave you

with no car or house.

Didn't you Like it?

l don't know why l told you.

Because you're

shitting your pants.

And because

l have experience.

Careful, son!

Watch your step...

Dad, for goodness sake!

When this happens l always say

the same thing to my patients.

Go for a walk, give yourself a treat.

A shiatsu massage is great too. Okay?

Mr. and Mrs. Olmeda?

And above all no tears, okay?

Pleased to meet you.

Come in, please.

There, there...

What's the matter?

Ive lost them, Serafin.

They've gone.

-Who's gone?

-The embryos.

The ones you put inside me,

that were so perfect.

Maybe it's me

and l can't be a mother.

Don't be silly.

Here, sit down a minute.

What's happened is quite normal.

Few women get pregnant

the first time.

Sure...

but l haven't got much money.

Maybe l should forget it.

Don't say that.

By the second attempt,

60 percent of women

your age get pregnant.

What if Im one of

the 40 percent who don't?

It's not a very scientific science.

l... shouldn't say this...

but in your case

Ive a feeling

it's going to work.

You do?

Really?

Yes.

You're wonderful.

You've convinced me.

Great.

Now all we need is

some first-class sperm.

And l promise you'll get it.

Sperm XZ2000B again?

That sperm's already fertilized...

4 patients.

You'll flood the world with XZs!

No, no.

Listen to me.

This patient is very, very special.

l want the sperm

to be exceptional, understand?

This is a disaster.

-What's wrong?

-Its the slowest,

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