Semen, a Love Sample Page #2

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most sluggish sperm

I've ever seen.

lf you say so.

And the others?

Terrible.

Look.

These don't centrifuge well at all.

Number 4 here,

just looking at it turns my stomach.

And this last sample looks like...

it comes from some

90-year-old at death's door.

Then we have a problem.

Ariadna's in the operating room.

What do you want me

to do about it?

The emergency method.

For serious problems,

extreme technical solutions.

Eenie, meenie, minie, moe,

catch a tiger by the toe...

this one I'll do.

This one, okay?

Sorry...

The effect will wear off...

-A little more.

-Ready.

Are you all right?

-Im fine.

-Are you sure?

A bit dizzy, that's all.

Hey!

What are you doing?

-l needed some oxygen.

-Well you just took

some sedative, silly.

That's the oxygen there.

-Im surprised you're still standing.

-Gloria.

Give me a hand.

Let's get this done.

No, Im all right.

Serafin.

That's it.

Now the test tube.

And the pipette.

No.

No.

This can't be happening.

What could I do?

l had two alternatives...

Admit I'd made a mistake

and fertilization would fail or...

What's this disgusting stuff

you've dropped on the floor?

Serafin!

-Im pregnant! I'm pregnant!

-Good, good.

But don't jump up and down!

-It's not good for...

-You're right.

Its just that Im so happy!

Oh, Serafin!

This baby inside me

owes you so much.

You've put so much into it.

Yes!

So much science,

so much technique.

The worst part is

that we won't meet again.

No... we won't.

But Ill bring

the baby in for you to see.

And a photo for your board.

Take care.

Take care.

Yes. Bye.

She was going.

Out of my life for ever.

I was losing her.

With something of mine

inside her.

Something tiny, microscopic,

still ridiculously small

but my flesh and blood,

with my genes.

Without doubt, among all the animals

the emperor penguin deserves

the title of ''perfect father."

For it is the males

who keep their young warm

through the long Antarctic winter,

in temperatures of 50 below zero

and losing half their body weight

as they give warmth and food

to offspring

who would never survive

without the loving care

of their penguin papas.

What could be more beautiful

than a father's love for his young?

Dad...

What's the matter?

Have you been peeling onions

or something?

-Dad...

-What are you doing?

You're dribbling all over me!

-I need to...

-You need to what?

Feel what a father's love's like.

This bed's too small,

you're too big,

and Im too old to feel...

Look...

Tell me things

about when l was little.

What do you want me to say?

When Mum left...

you had to look after me.

Father and son united... beautiful.

Not at all. More like depressing.

l was in a bad way and you were

-a pretty weird child.

-But you played with me...

You didn't Like playing

on your own and you had no friends,

so l had to be the dragon,

the princess the robber

and the pirate all in one.

And you always had to be the hero,

which I deeply regret.

But for...

a son...

who grows up

without his father...

-it must be traumatic...

-It depends.

-Depends? On what?

-On the father,

the son and the age.

At your age and mine,

Serafin, this is aberrant.

Get out of here

and leave me alone.

Go to your own bed.

Go on.

It's no use chasing after something

that's running away from us.

Ariadna wanted a child

by an anonymous father

and Id decided to be just that...

Anonymous.

But fate...

whimsical, indomitable fate...

was playing dirty

behind my back.

That morning,

little Diego Salvaterra,

a 10-year-old boy with a weakness

for chocolate-coated cereals,

knocked over a pile

of boxes and grabbed

the one closest to his left foot.

It so happened that the box

of cereals held a prize...

two free tickets for the circus.

Overcome by excitement, little Diego

scoffed the whole box of cereals,

which gave him stomach ache, but

this did not stop him from inviting

a classmate, little Inez, to

the circus. Now Inez wore a dress,

short and redolent

of flowery, pink panties,

for which Diego had

a spot just as soft as he had for

chocolate-coated cereals.

Inez was about to accept

when little Diego Salvaterra,

stricken by a stomach cramp,

threw up over Inezs dress

and Inez decided

she was too young for boys.

Deeply wounded by Inezs refusal,

little Diego turned to Miss Marina,

his maths teacher,

to whom he gave the tickets

together with a disastrous exercise

in the hope of a better mark.

That afternoon

Marina felt a weakness in her legs.

Attributing it to tiredness,

she decided to take a white coffee

in a bar which was on her way home

and she'd never entered before.

Little Diego's gift

did not save him from his bad mark,

but Marina kept the tickets

anyway and decided

to treat her mother, who loved clowns

and elephants, to the circus.

Marina was about to call her mother

when she felt her period start,

which explained her weak legs,

so she ran off to buy some

sanitary pads with wings,

leaving the tickets

on the table with her coffee.

So there was I, trying

to find some sense in life,

with two circus tickets in my hand.

It was her!

Ariadna.

Hanging head-down

like a bat.

With my baby in her!

So irresponsible!

Didn't she think

of the risk to my baby?

Where am l?

Am l dead?

You fainted.

Yes...

Can you leave us?

He's all right.

What a surprise.

Somebody faints

and it turns out to be you.

Did you come to see me?

Not exactly.

Actually it was all

a coincidence.

Really?

Anyway, l was sure

we'd see each other again.

Pity you missed

the end of my act.

Its the nicest part.

Nice?

Im sorry but it was like

a horror film to me.

Why?

You were risking

the baby's life.

The baby l gave you...

l mean we gave you.

The one we inseminated you for...

Pregnancy's hard to achieve.

You don't want

to spoil it all now.

Ever dreamed you were flying?

Isn't it fantastic?

That's how l feel

on the trapeze.

Like Im flying,

weightless, defying gravity.

Stop, stop for goodness sake!

For goodness sake!

You don't like it?

Its not a question

of whether l like it or not.

So what is it a question of?

Of man never being meant to fly.

Feet are for planting

firmly on the ground.

Hey, Ignatof.

You see? The exception

that confirms the rule.

lf flying was good for us,

we'd all have wings.

But that's not the case.

We invented aero planes.

That's what l mean. Look at all the

childless air hostesses there are.

And you know why?

Because heights

are extremely dangerous

for pregnant women.

Female mountaineers

and astronauts have the same problem.

-Staying for supper?

-Some other time.

This is where l live.

Thanks for coming with me.

We'll see each other again?

Of course, some day.

Would tomorrow be a good day?

l could pick you up.

Okay.

in the evening.

At 8.45?

8.48 would be okay too.

Go away, dog!

Go away!

l know l look terrible, Ariadna.

But it's the thought that counts

and l wanted to please you.

These are for you.

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