Senior Project Page #4

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she hasn't been laid

since at least

the '94 guns n' roses tour.

-andy:
[ laughs ] what?

-spencer:
I'm not joking.

Yo, you're gonna

edit that out, right?

-andy:
uh, yeah.

-spencer:
you better.

Andy:
so, uh,

what is this concoction?

Spencer:

that is vegetarian meatloaf.

Andy:
ah, interesting.

Why have you chosen this dish?

Spencer:
well, my dad,

for some reason, likes meatloaf

and hates the fact

that I'm a vegetarian,

so vegetarian meatloaf.

Andy:
so, uh, what, do you just

do everything to spite your dad?

Andy:
no, actually,

but that a**hole wants me

to go to georgetown

and become some politician

or something,

and all I really want to do

is go to nepal

and find my spiritual awakening.

Andy:

so, uh, what's stopping you?

Spencer:
well [laughs]

in order to go

on a spiritual awakening,

you need cash flow,

and I won't have cash

unless I get my trust fund,

and he won't give me

my trust fund unless --

andy:
I got you.

Spencer:
good.

Now, you need to be saged

-because you're experiencing...

-andy:
no, bro, I'm fine.

Spencer:

...some negative energy.

Andy:
you -- you gonna --

spencer:
[ chanting ]

andy:
you're messing up --

this is my school shirt, bro.

What the f***?

Natalia:
so, the name

of my new fashion show is --

drum roll, please.

Tiffany:
oh, my god.

Genius.

I love it.

Natalia:

no, I mean, like,

actually do a drum roll

for the announcement.

Jennifer:
oh. I can't.

I just got my nails done.

[ whistle blows ]

natalia:

it's called hot nerd.

I named it

after my new assistant,

peter hammer, and his dad,

who are both hot nerds.

Jennifer:
I'm having trouble

picturing this.

Natalia:
yeah, okay.

Well, for inspiration,

I've compiled photos

of some of the hottest nerds

of all time.

Isaac newton.

Albert einstein, yum.

-christopher lloyd.

-jill:
okay, no!

Christopher lloyd is not a nerd,

he is an actor from the '80s!

God, I hate this school!

[ whistle blows ]

jennifer:

total psychopath.

Tiffany:

she's a little odd.

Jill:
[ crying ]

ms. ghetty:
jill?

Is it that awful natalia girl?

I've seen the way

that she treats you.

You know, they used to bully me

in high school.

Boy, did they regret it.

You can outsmart them.

I can show you how.

[ camera shutter clicks ]

[ camera shutter clicks ]

peter:
uh, geez.

No, h--

mr. butterfly?

[ camera shutter clicks ]

hello?

Hello?

Mr. butterfly?

[ snarling ]

okay, okay.

[ snarling ]

aah! What?

Andy:
[ laughs ]

ah, relax.

Relax, it's just me.

Man, I just wanted to catch you

in your natural habitat.

Peter:
what?

Andy:
my bad, man.

-i didn't mean to "spook" you.

-peter:
really?

Because you're running around

in the middle of a jungle,

wearing a wookiee suit,

making growing noises.

You are bound to spook somebody!

Andy:
first off,

I wasn't gurgling, all right?

My stomach was growling

'cause I ain't eat my burrito

like I always do this morning.

Anyways, what do you think

of this suit, huh? Huh?

You know, my brother

used to use this for paintball.

[ laughs ]

peter:

quick lesson in boundaries.

Using a military suit,

using tactical strategies,

running around the forest

looking like a...

Whatever that is --

look, I'm calling

the police next time.

Andy:
man, if you call the cops

on me, they'll never find me.

I'll mask this whole thing

in dog sh*t

so that even if the police

were to come here,

they're gonna think

they're following a person.

They're gonna end up following

some dog that just took a sh*t.

They'll never find me.

Invisible, bro.

Peter:

what is wrong with you?

Andy:
I got some great footage

of you, bro.

I thought you was about to cry.

Peter:

dude, I sh*t my pants.

Andy:

adorable. [ laughs ]

they have macro lenses

and apps that are literally

for close photography, man.

I'm telling you,

she won't know the difference.

Peter:

shut up, wood monster.

Spencer:
whoa, man.

Sensing some serious negative

energy going on over there.

Let's cut it out, yeah?

Natalia:

it's not coming from me.

My energy

is always not negative.

Plus, I am so excited

about my fashion show.

You guys will never guess

what my new title is.

Spencer:

hmm, is it hot nerd?

Natalia:
[ scoffs ]

spencer, it is really creepy

when you do that weird

reading people's minds thing.

Spencer:
natalia,

we dated for almost a year.

Natalia:

yeah, but it doesn't count

'cause now you're gay.

Sam:
okay, can we just get

this over with, please?

Spencer:

yes, great idea, sam.

Um, everyone, we're gonna give

a one-minute summary

of our research. go.

Natalia:

okay, does anyone have a timer?

Andy:
ooh. oh, my goodness,

I just remembered.

I have something

way better than that.

[ beeps, buzzes ]

yeah, that's right.

Spencer:
dude, what the hell

are you doing with that?

Andy:
it's an alarm cock.

I found it

next to your grandma's teeth.

Peter:

bro, you obviously have an issue

with invading people's privacy.

Sam:

I'm sorry, what is that?

Andy:
an alarm cock.

Okay, so it's, like,

to simulate, like, a rooster,

like, crowing to wake you up,

but for, like,

the heavy sleepers,

it has this vibrating mode.

Sam:

okay, that's disgusting.

Natalia:

maybe it belongs to spencer.

-andy:
uh-oh. hey, watch out.

-spencer:
seriously, natalia?

-andy:
watch out. ah!

-spencer:
put that thing away!

Sam:
it's okay.

You know what?

I think I've gotten

everything that I need

from this meeting,

so, uh, bye, guys.

Andy:
you got something

on your shoulder.

Natalia:

uh, where is she going?

Andy:
what? Uh,

I think she wants his rooster.

Natalia:
[ chuckles ]

not on my watch.

I'm getting my man.

Andy:
all right.

Spencer:
[ sighs ]

oh!

Andy:
oh, my god.

I don't know.

It's like this thing

has a mind of its own.

Peter:
so, how's your

senior project coming along?

Sam:
so great, in fact,

that staying here

with b*tch and doofus

is actually

a total waste of time.

Hey, um...

Do you want to go to the zoo?

I-it could be really good

for your senior project.

-peter:
yeah, sure.

-natalia:
peter.

Are you ready

for our shopping trip?

Remember, you promised me.

Peter:
that's right, yeah.

Fashion assistant.

I forgot.

Natalia:

I booked the whole store,

and I don't want to keep

anyone waiting.

Sam:

of course, you don't.

Have fun.

[ engine turns over ]

[ sighs ]

peter:
so they shut down

the whole store for you?

Natalia:
of course.

I can't shop

with other people around.

It's distracting.

Woman:
let me know

if you need anything, okay?

Natalia:

um, this isn't perignon.

What are you trying to feed me?

Woman:
yeah, actually,

my manager says I can't serve

to underage customers anymore.

I'm so sorry about --

natalia:
okay, well,

you don't tell your manager,

and I won't tell everyone

that your mom got alopecia

when the housing market crashed,

and then she filed

for bankruptcy,

leaving you guys broke,

so you had to get a job

as a sales girl here.

Now, go get me the real stuff.

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