Senior Project Page #5

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[ dog yips ]

woman:
uh --

natalia:
thanks.

Peter:

um, that was a bit harsh.

Natalia:

she needed a reminder

of where she stands

on the food chain.

Okay, ready?

No, no, no. you know what

would make this picture better?

[ laughs ] me.

One, two, three.

[ camera shutter clicks ]

peter:
don't you think

this is all a bit much?

Renting out a whole store

and spending all this money?

Natalia:

what's the problem?

Do you hate the clothes?

Peter:

no, I think it's wasteful.

Natalia:
oh?

Today is a special day.

Peter:

is it spoiled rich girl day?

Natalia:
[ sighs ]

peter:

look, i-i'm sorry.

Natalia:
no, no, no.

No, it's fine.

It is spoiled rich girl day,

and it just happens to be

this spoiled rich girl's

18th birthday.

Peter:

nobody remembered?

Natalia:

none of my friends from school.

Not psychotic jill,

not even my father

who is on a business trip

in reno,

which is just code for

with his skanky casino mistress,

so jackpot.

I'm here spending his money.

Peter:
hey, don't cry.

Natalia:
my therapist says

that I have ocd or something

or like an addiction problem

or compulsion problem

or whatever.

But really,

it's just daddy issues.

Peter:
could we just finish out

the year?

Natalia:

see, that's the thing.

Everybody thinks I'm stupid.

I'm not stupid.

Peter:
hey, hey.

Nobody thinks you're stupid.

Natalia:

sam thinks I'm stupid.

I'm sorry I'm not as talented

as her, okay?

Not everybody can be talented

all the time.

[ blows nose ]

[ laughs ]

I snotted on a cashmere.

[ both laugh ]

jill:
I hope it's what

you were looking for.

Ms. ghetty:
just this once,

you can come over next to me.

Come on.

Jill:
really?

Ms. ghetty:

and look at them.

-jill:
really?

-ms. ghetty:
yeah, of course.

All right, not -- not too close.

All right. yeah, that's perfect.

Great. that's great.

Jill:
okay, so this picture --

this is natalia with peter,

and they were

at the sen boutique,

and they were trying on clothes.

Ms. ghetty:
oh, it seems

that they're plagiarizing.

-jill:
yes.

-ms. ghetty:
they can't do th--

-they can't --

-jill:
no.

Ms. ghetty:
I mean, am I --

am I wro-- am I right?

Jill:
no, you're not --

you know, you're not wrong.

Ms. ghetty:

no, I'm right.

Jill:
okay,

so she's trying on clothes.

Ms. ghetty:
[ gasps ]

oh, this is amazing!

Jill:
[ laughs ]

ms. ghetty:

well, excellent.

Would you like to, uh,

stamp my pad?

Go ahead, just -- just --

yeah, just --

oh, it's good!

It feels good.

Do it really hard.

You know, just --

yeah, yeah.

That's it, sister.

Jill:
it's just like

what I imagine drugs to be like.

Ms. ghetty:
yes, yeah.

Yes, I know.

Spencer:
what's up, sam?

Sam:
what the hell

are you both doing here?

Spencer:
well, we're here

to do the senior project,

considering we didn't do it

at all earlier.

Andy:
yo, you guys really sure

you want to do this?

Natalia said

that eco-friendly is --

sam:

can you stop talking about peter

for, like, 30 seconds, please?

You can be such

a royal hemorrhoid some times.

Spencer:

dude, what is up your ass today?

Sam:
okay, I just thought

maybe he would be over

the whole b*tches

with money thing, but, no,

he fell into natalia's trap,

just like everybody else.

Spencer:

natalia is the master seducer,

and she did

the exact same thing to me.

Andy:

hey, if it means anything,

I think peter digs you

way more than natalia.

Sam:
yeah, and you know that

because you're his, what,

supposed best friend?

Andy:
uh, duh.

[ chuckles ]

spencer:

oh, guys, I think it's me.

Andy:

who's hitting you, bro?

Who's that?

Spencer:

it says "unknown."

Andy:
what is it?

What?

Spencer:

I am in a babbling brook.

I am in a babbling brook.

Andy:

why are you in a babbling brook?

Spencer:

in a babbling brook.

Andy:
yo, what happened?

Spencer:

I am a babbling brook.

Andy:
yo, y'all are acting

like y'all just seen voldemort.

Sam:
[ crying ]

andy:
[ knocks ]

sam:
you know her goal in life

is to make me miserable

and get in the way

of my happiness.

Andy:
yeah,

but spencer downstairs

will tell you that happiness...

Comes from the inside.

Sam:
[ laughs ]

[ crying ] well, he --

he's read

too many self-help books.

[ blows nose ]

oh.

Oh.

I just snotted

on a shower curtain.

Thank you.

[ blows nose ]

[ crying ]

andy:
listen...

Look, natalia's not

out to get you.

Like, you got to understand,

she's all about image,

and right now,

she's just going insane

because of that crazy debacle

that happened with spencer

last month.

I mean,

he just broke up with her

for no reason

in front of everyone.

She's not over that,

and now she's stuck

in the friend zone.

Well, welcome to my world --

the damn friend zone.

Andy:
[ laughs ]

hey, uh...

You know...

This whole thing kind of

makes us best friends, too.

[ chuckles ]

sam:

I'm going to back to work.

You know,

I will never understand

how a guy like you was ever

the apple of natalia's eye.

Andy:
so...

Have you been doing yoga

since you broke up with natalia?

Spencer:

yep, to the day, actually.

Andy:
really?

Spencer:
yes, andy.

Downward dog.

[ knuckles cracking ]

andy:
ahh.

Ahh.

[ neck cracks ]

[ groans ]

oh, man, that hurt.

Spencer:

yo, dawg, that's not right.

Andy:

this is right, bro.

This is exactly

what you're doing.

A little sexier.

Spencer:

straighten out your knees.

Andy:

you're gonna break my knee.

Spencer:

straighten out your knees.

Andy:
stop it.

Spencer:

just right here with me.

Breathe in.

Andy:
hey.

Hey, what is this?

[ back cracking ]

-spencer:
come up.

-andy:
[ farts ]

sam:

oh, for christ's sake.

Andy:
this is --

I don't know if I'm --

-spencer:
suck up.

-andy:
[ farts ]

I'm not sucking -- all right,

I'm done with this yoga.

Ms. ghetty:

it's come to my attention

that certain students

are utilizing professional help

in their projects,

and it states

in the senior project handbook

you can't do that.

Hit it, jill.

[ students exclaiming ]

ms. ghetty:

all right, the two students

are obviously complicit

in their utilization

of professional help,

namely the designers

at the sen boutique

and planning to plagiarize

their designs.

Natalia:

where did you get this picture?

Who the hell took this?

You've been spying on me.

You psychopathic troll!

Objection!

Jill:
overruled, b*tch!

-ms. ghetty:
language, jill.

-jill:
I'm sorry.

Natalia:
you never said we

couldn't use professional help.

Ms. ghetty:
uh, it says

in the senior project handbook

that you cannot use

professional help.

I'm sorry, miss bell.

I don't make the rules.

Andy:

wait, you wrote the rule book.

Ms. ghetty:

andy, do you want to go down

two letter grades, as well?

Peter:
wait, what?

We went down two letter grades!

Ms. ghetty:

that's right, mr. hamster,

and your bug project

better be amazing.

Class dismissed.

Andy:
hey, hey.

What's up, buddy?

Peter:
not now, andy.

Andy:
listen, man.

You're not gonna fail, bro.

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