Separate Tables Page #5

It's only a scratch, Mrs. Shankland,

that's much too fine a handkerchief.

Oh, that's all right.

I have another in my bag.

Well, now shall we...

shall we all sit down?

Mr. Fowler, would you

draw up that chair, please?

- Gladys, where are the others?

- I couldn't find anyone else.

- Edgar's gone to look for Mr. Malcolm.

- Oh, I shouldn't have bothered.

He always has so much to say.

Now, let us all be seated.

...who, it turns out,

was only a lieutenant

in the service supply depot,

and was arrested in the cinema.

I can't believe it. Incredible.

The question now becomes,

'What are we going to do about it? '

The Major will be watching television for a while

and we don't want to be interrupted.

I feel we should act firmly

and quickly to rid ourselves

of this dangerous person in our midst.

I must admit, I always suspected

the public school education.

And only this evening,

he made a most shocking mistake in quoting Horace.

- Oh, please...

- Quite appalling.

Please, Mr. Fowler,

we're getting away from the subject.

The ugly fact remains

that this fellow resident of ours

was arrested and found guilty.

- Pleaded guilty.

- Please, Gladys.

Found or pleaded guilty

to a disgusting offense.

Which fellow resident?

What disgusting offense?

I don't think this is a matter

that would interest you, Mr. Malcolm.

It seems to interest

our newest resident.

I don't see why

it shouldn't interest one of our oldest.

Very well. If you must know,

Maj. Pollock has behaved immorally

to no less than 6 respectable women in a local cinema.

Well, that's quite a performance.

Really, Maud, on behalf of the Major,

I must remind you,

that we only knowthat

one of them was respectable...

the one who made a complaint.

And even she behaved very oddly.

I mean, why didn't she say

right out to the Major,

'Will you please stop doing

wh-whatever it is you are doing? '

That's what I would have done.

A-and we don't know

anything about the others.

We don't even knowthat

he nudged them o-or anything.

Of course he nudged them.

He was in that cinema

for an immoral purpose.

He admitted it.

And he was seen to change his seat

no less than 5 times,

always choosing one

next to a female person.

Well, now, let's see.

That would make 10 nudges, wouldn't it,

if he used both elbows?

No, no, 11 with the original one.

Or 12, supposing...

I considerthis flippancy,

on a matter so serious, as utterly monstrous.

You're right, it is serious...

forthe poor Major.

What are you proposing to do?

Have him thrown out of the hotel?

I'm proposing it ask the option

of the other residents.

I plainly have no need to ask yours.

I don't know why you say that,

Mrs... Railton-Bell.

I feel repelled by what the Major's done.

I've always had an intense dislike for...

well, shall we say,

the more furtive forms of sexual expression.

I think it's only fair

to ask ourselves this question...

what harm has the man done?

Well, apart from bruising the elbow

of a certain lady whose...

whose motives in complaining...

I agree with lady Matheson are extremely questionable

Apart from that, and apart from telling us

a few rather pathetic lies about his past life,

which most of us do from time to time anyway.

I can't see that the Major's done anything

tojustify ourthrowing him out into the street.

Then it's quite obvious

you're against any action at all.

Well, I might give him

a cool glace at dinner.

- I think your attitude is shocking.

- Do you? Why?

After all, what has he done that's any worse

than people who cheapen love-making,

who use it as a weapon

to get what they want?

No, Mrs. Railton-Bell, I'm sure

there are people... people in this very room...

who have done theirfellow man

far more than the Major.

I don't agree.

I... I'm sorry.

Just forget I said anything.

No, that's quite all right,

Mrs... Shankland?

I'm sure that anything that you have

to say will be right to the point.

It wouldn't be fair.

I don't even knowthe Major.

We are talking about the Major?

We are indeed.

And nowthat we've heard your views

on the subject, Mr. Malcolm...

Odd, distasteful and dangerous

though they may be...

I think it's time we heard

from the others. Mr. Fowler.

Well, it's difficult.

Very difficult.

- I don't see what's difficult about it.

- Oh, but it is, you know.

I can't say that I see it like Malcolm.

Certain cats are wrong because they are,

in themselves and by themselves,

impure and immoral.

And it seems to me that this terrible

wave of vice and sexual excess

which has been flooding

the world since the war,

might well in part be due

to the decline of the old standards.

Tolerance is not necessarily a good.

Tolerance of evil can itself be an evil.

- After all, wasn't it Aristotle who said...

- Oh, really.

You've all gone on fartoo long about it.

And when you start quoting Aristotle,

personally I'm going to me room.

You heard, Miss Meacham?

I couldn't help hearing.

I didn't want to.

I was doing me betting system.

And you need to concentrate like billy-on on that.

I had my chair against the wall

to catch the light,

and I certainly wasn't going to

get eyestrainjust foryou people.

Well, as you knowthe facts,

perhaps we'd better canvass your opinion.

I haven't any. Why should I?

I've been out of the world

far longerthat any of you,

and what do I know of morals and ethics?

Only what I read in novels.

And as I only read thrillers,

that doesn't amount to much.

In Mickey Spillane, the hero does far worse

things to his girls than the Major's done,

and no one seems to mind.

It's hardly to the point what Mr. Spillane's

heroes do to his girls, Miss Meacham.

- We want your views on Maj. Pollock.

- Do you?

Well, my views on Maj. Pollock have

always been that he's a crashing old bore,

and a wicked old fraud.

Now I hear he's a dirty old man, too.

I'm not at all surprised.

And quite between these 4 walls,

I don't give a damn.

Sad, very, very sad.

Well, Mr. Fowler, I take it

you are in the side of action?

I once had to recommend a boy for expulsion...

only once, in all the 15 years

I was a house-master.

Are you in favor of action, Mr. Fowler?

Yes, I suppose so.

- Yes, I am.

- Gladys?

Oh, dear. Oh, dear...

Oh, there you go,

shilly-shallying again, Gladys.

For heaven's sake,

make up your mind.

Are you on the side of Mr. Malcolm

with his defense of vice,

or on the side of the Christian virtues

like Mr. Fowler and myself.

Never in my life have I heard

a question so disgracefully begged.

- You should be in politics, Mrs. Railton-Bell.

- Gladys?

Of course I am on your side, dear.

- It's only that...

- Well, Mr. Malcolm,

apart from Miss Meacham and Mrs. Shankland,

who may be counted as neutral,

the count is 4 to 1 against you.

Now, shall we all go and

see Miss Cooper in a body,

or would you ratherthat

I acted as your spokesman?

- Oh, I... I think perhaps, dear, if you went...

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