Serpico Page #4

but if it's the same sh*t, screw it.

I'd rather answer phones for Spanish

communications unit and go nuts.

Come on, Alfie.

Frank, did anyone

ever tell you...

that you have a tendency

toward self-pity?

No, you're the first.

All right. Frank, I have

a friend up there, Roy Palmer.

He's an administrative officer.

I'll speak with him.

- Good. Thank you, sir.

- Good-bye, Frank.

- God bless you.

- Right.

Frank, Captain McCIain here.

Captain McCIain. Could you

hold on a minute please, sir?

Sure.

Yeah. Sorry.

I saw Inspector Palmer tonight...

and he assures me the 7th Division

is as clean as a hound's tooth.

His words, Frank.

"Clean as a hound's tooth."

I told him he was getting

a hardworking officer...

wears a beard, speaks Spanish and

would make a superb undercover man.

He was delighted.

That's good news, sir.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Good-bye, Frank.

God bless.

When did you start doing that?

McCIain says that Palmer says...

that the 7th is as clean

as a hound's tooth.

Well, if that's true,

your problems are over.

Plainclothes division.

Upstairs.

- How are you? Good to see you!

- All right.

We heard you were

coming up here. Listen.

Say hello to Nate Smith.

Frank Serpico.

- Jamie Morales, Frank Serpico.

- Serpico?

Hey, babe, you're gonna

love it up here. It's beautiful.

Listen, take-

I'll see youse later, all right?

Take a little ride with me.

Get the feel of the division.

- Maybe I should check in first.

- F*** that. Come on.

Deckk the halls

with boughs ofholly

Ten grand, Dallas-

if Minnesota. Right.

Green Bay, 12 and a half at...

You dumb f***.

We told you this location's hot.

We told you to stay the f***

out of here.

Keough, nobody told me.

Honest.

Bullshit.

Come on.

Let's take a walk.

Hi, kid.

All right, a C-note apiece.

No way. We got a complaint.

Right, Frank? Come on.

All right.

Make it 200, Keough.

Hey, what, are you getting cheap

in your old age, bambino?

- Three.

- Three?

You heard me.

- All right, three.

- I'll make it a light one.

- You wanna write this up?

- No, I'm gonna check in.

Take the collar, Frank.

Get on the sheet.

I better check in.

We're gonna have

a little talk later, right?

That dumb schmuck only came up with

two bills because I booked him?

Here you go, Frank.

It was your collar.

Keep it.

I had a hunch

you weren't gonna take it.

You know, Frankie, we got a call

about you from downtown.

Now, I ain't sayin' who.

They just said you couldn't

be trusted, you know?

- Because I don't take money, right?

- Come on, Frank.

Let's face it. Who can trust

a cop who don't take money?

I mean, you are pretty weird,

you know, kid?

And with that call, the guys

were gettin' a little worried.

I told them you were okay.

I knew you from the old 21.

You'd never hurt

another cop, right?

You'd never hurt another cop,

would you, Frank?

- That'd depend on what he did.

- That's the wrong answer, Frankie.

We're not doing

anything bad here.

We're skimming

a little gambling money.

It's clean. It's not dope.

It hurts nobody.

Come on, Frank.

Gamblers are gentlemen, and

they're gonna operate anyhow, right?

Look, Keough, you don't have to

explain yourself to me.

Do what you got to do.

Want some tea?

No, I don't like that sh*t.

I'll have a coffee, huh?

What's the matter, Frank?

What are you worried about?

Listen.

We don't go overboard here.

We're not sloppy.

We're careful.

The spicks, n*ggers, we bust them.

They operate so dumb and sloppy...

they get your ass

in hot water every time.

But the Italians, now,

that's a different story.

They're men of their word.

They're reliable, Frankie.

- You really got it analyzed.

- F***in' right I got it analyzed.

It's worth it.

You know how much

the nut's running now, Frankie?

- No, I wouldn't know that.

- $800 a month.

That's 800 clams every time your

girlfriend gets the curse tax free.

Here's the beauty. You don't

get it for the first eight weeks...

till the guys get to

know you and you're okay.

But you don't lose, either, 'cause

you get it on the other end...

when you leave the division.

Frankie, it's like-

it's like severance pay.

Think it over, all right?

In or out.

Look at me. I'm shaking.

All my life I wanted

to be a cop, you know?

It's like I can remember

nothing else.

I remember this one time...

there was...

Somethin' happened.

A domestic argument or somethin'.

Somebody stabbed somebody.

And...

there was this crowd

around this tenement.

I must have been nine,

ten years old. I was this big.

I went over to see

what was going on.

I noticed the red light

goin' around and around...

all these people,

and I couldn't see.

I kept saying, "Do you know

what's goin' on? Do you know?"

Nobody knew.

It was like a big mystery

behind that...

that crowd there.

All of a sudden...

the crowd just parted...

Like the Red Sea, you see?

And there were these guys

in blue, and I said...

"They know."

What do they know?

What do they know?

It's amazing.

It's incredible...

but I feel like a criminal

'cause I don't take money.

You get so tense

when you talk about it.

I wonder why.

Come here.

- Right there.

- Here?

I'm gonna ask you

a question, okay?

Do you like cops?

You're my first.

No, I mean all this sh*t I've been

telling you. Do you believe it?

Why not?

- Does it shock you?

- Not much.

What's the matter with me?

Everybody knows about cops.

Did you ever hear the story

of the wise king?

Nope, but I got the feeling

I'm gonna hear it.

Well, there was this king,

and he ruled over his kingdom.

Right in the middle of the kingdom

there was a well.

That's where everybody drank.

One night,

this witch came along...

and she poisoned the well.

And the next day, everybody drank

from it except the king...

and they all went crazy.

They got together

in the street and they said...

"We got to get rid of the king,

'cause the king is mad."

And then that night, he went down

and he drank from the well.

And the next day

all the people rejoiced...

because their king

had regained his reason.

I think you're trying

to tell me somethin'.

- Me?

- Yeah.

Hey, Frank, I want you

to say hello to somebody.

- Drop your c*cks and grab your socks!

- What the f*** is this?

Frank Serpico,

say hello to Don Rubello.

- He's gonna be your new partner.

- How you doin'?

If you don't want to work with this

f***ing nut for some reason, man...

I'll buddy up with him,

all right?

And go through all that crap

changing assignments?

No. We'll be okay.

We're paisans, huh?

- What's with the f***ing mouse?

- It's my partner.

- Partner?

- He's specially trained, you know?

He goes to track down heroin.

Let him loose, goes into the hole,

picks it up, brings it back...

sniffs it out,

brings it to you.

- Yeah. I heard of that.

- You heard of that?

This guy I'm looking for,

Vernon...

He's a numbers collector who ain't

been meeting his obligations.

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