Serving Sara Page #5

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Hold up!

I'm no thief!

I'm just a process server.

Ow!

Let me get this straight.

You're telling me you're here|from the motel's parent company

doing spot inspections?

And I should give you|a room for free

so you can see how it is?

That's correct, sir.

And let me just say

the degree of professionalism

that you are exhibiting|here today

will undoubtedly go|in my report.

Well, let me just say

that either you fork over|$34.95, or you are

plumb out

of luck, mister.

Got me?

We're sleeping in the car.

Let me have a go.

Sir, we've been robbed.

Please take pity on us.

Lady, there ain't no way

in hell I'm going to give|you a room here for free.

That's, uh...

room 17.

Thank you.

Oh, and we do have|suites available

as well.

And let me know if you|need any ice.

I love you!

Bummer.

Hey...

How was your bath?

You mean shower.

There's no tub in here.

Oh, well, I'll call|the concierge.

Oh, no, wait a minute...

you got a free room|in a dump.

Tease me all you like.

I just don't feel right|if I don't have a bath.

I don't get you Americans|with your two-minute showers.

Well, it could be worse.

We could be French|and skip the whole thing.

You must admit, though

it's pretty cool the way|I got us our free room.

Oh, yeah.

What are you doing?

Well, I've gotten into bed,|and now I'm going to sleep.

No, I am the girl;|I get the bed.

All right,|I'll tell you what...

why don't you draw|an imaginary line

and I will promise|not to cross it, okay?

Okay.

My line goes all the way|around the bed.

I knew you were going|to say that.

Thank you.

Oh, yeah.

Comfy?

Yeah.

Light's out?

No, you know what

I'm just going to stay up|and read the Bible for a while.

Good night.

Yeah, I guess I got|the gist of it.

You know, assuming you serve|Gordon tomorrow

what are you going|to do with the money?

Why do girls always have|another question

after "good night"?

Come on, I'm just curious.

Well...

if you must know

I was kind of hoping|to have my own vineyard.

Napa Valley or somewhere.

Come on, I'm being serious.

Oh, seriously.

Well...

A while back I was this|hotshot attorney.

I had all the attachments|that go with that gig.

You know, a big house,|nice car...

beautiful girlfriend.

Fiancee actually.

That sounds terrible.

I can see why you|turned your back on it.

Well, anyway, I was given|this high-profile case

to defend this guy|in the cement business.

In other words, the mob.

Really? How did you know that?

I have an eye for that kind|of stuff.

And he told me|he was in the mob.

Then I realized

I'd just become this cliche.

Some sleazy defense attorney.

And at that moment, boom...

I got out.

I don't blame you.

Well, the beautiful fiancee did.

As soon as the money ran out,|so did she.

Ow.

Yeah, ow.

You know, all kidding aside

after you quit,|didn't you miss the money?

Well, being successful|isn't all about money.

No.

So your girlfriend|ditched you

because you didn't have|enough money

and my husband's ditching me

to get it all. Hmm.

All right, good night then.

Good night then.

Oh, all right.

All right, what?

I moved the line.

Oh.

It's still there.|I just moved it a little.

Oh.

Come on.

Thanks.

Thank you.

Oh, sorry.

That's okay.

Just don't let it happen again.

Gentlemen, I'd like|to welcome you to my ranch.

Now, I know in your country|it's polite to remove your shoes

when you visit|someone's humble abode...

Who are all those Japanese guys|around Gordon?

I have no idea.

If you do that around here...

Go on, go serve him.

Okay.

Oh, no, wait.

Who's that?

That is trouble.

Wyatt Earp looks pissed.

Quick, let's get|out of here.

Hey, Vernon.

I need you for a minute.

Boy, am I glad to see you two.

Really?

Of course he is.

Follow me.

Okay.

Well, you sure made it|fast enough.

Now, we're just having|the damnedest old time

milking that old boy today.

Well, that's the problem.

See, if you want|to get the milk

you need to use a girl cow.

Uh, you are the vet, right?

Yes, I am the vet.

And I'm the vet's nurse.

Um, it's casual Friday.

Well, Tornado over there,|he's normally

our feistiest bull.

Good for at least|a quart a week.

But today, hell, we can't|even get his pump primed.

Uh, would you all|excuse me please?

I need to talk with my...

nurse.

Excuse me.

Tell me they are|not talking about

what I think they're|talking about.

What do you think|they're talking about?

Masturbating|an impotent bull.

Ding, ding, ding,|ding, ding!

So what do you think, Doc?

Well, you know what,|we just got a page

uh, telling us that a sheep|has fallen into a lake

and is shrinking|at an amazing rate.

Just getting|smaller and smaller.

Go look over there.

Yes, sir.

You better find somebody|or it's your ass.

How small can|a sheep get, I guess.

So, um, how do you|get things started?

What do you do

to get the bulls...

ready?

You know, the regular way.

But we've been trying that

for over an hour.

Poor ol' Mickey, there, can't|even lift his arms up no more.

Well, maybe it's just|a question of inspiration.

I mean, that is|a very attractive rump

but, uh, maybe Tornado

needs a little bit more oomph.

Like what?

Have you tried a Barry White CD?

Why don't you just do|what the other doc did

when this happened to Attila?

You know, relieve|the pressure

on the prostate?

Prostate pressure.

Right, um...

Nurse, did you bring the tools?

Um, no, I'm afraid|I forgot them.

She forgot the tools.

Can't really do anything|without the tools.

That's all right, Doc.

We got everything you need.

Oh, dear God.

Here, let me help.

Let's get you nice|and lubricated.

How far up is|the prostate?

When you think you've|got there, keep going.

We're ready when you are, Doc.

You fellows haven't|been feeding Tornado

any Mexican food, have you?

Whoa.

Get your dumb ass over here!

Yes, Mr. Vernon.

Keep looking!

I'm sorry.

Go on, Doc.

He ain't gonna give|you an invitation.

Especially not from this end.

How's it feel in there, Doc?

Compared to what?

Better go a little further, Doc.

Ain't nothing happening yet.

Let me help you, Doc.

Whoo-ha! That's the spot, Doc!

You got it!

Do it till you're satisfied

Whatever it is

till you're satisfied...

Damn, that thing sure|looks like a fire hose.

Do it till you're satisfied

Whatever it is

Do it, do it...

I'm uncomfortable.

Help, oh...

Sure wish you folks could've|been here a little earlier.

Mr. Moore came by

and had a bunch of those|corporate fellas with him

and it was damn embarrassing.

Old Tornado couldn't put on|his usual show.

Look at him go.

Oh, great...|now I-I've lost my ring.

What, was he giving them

like a little special tour|or something?

I think it was a little more|than a little tour.

I hear he's trying to sell|the whole damn company.

Hey, you hear that, Doc?

Mr. Moore is trying to sell|the whole damn company.

That's fascinating.

I can't believe|that Gordon is trying

to sell his company.

Mind you, I have to say

I think it's good news|for us.

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