Serving Sara Page #6

Synopsis: A process server, Joe Tyler (played by Matthew Perry) is given the task of serving divorce papers on Sara Moore (Elizabeth Hurley), the wife of of a wealthy Texas businessman. To do so he needs to contend with her attempts at evasion and the attempts of a colleague to undermine him.
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director(s): Reginald Hudlin
Production: Paramount Pictures
 
IMDB:
5.3
Metacritic:
18
Rotten Tomatoes:
4%
PG-13
Year:
2002
99 min
$16,881,019
Website
225 Views


Well, you know

if he's in the middle|of a big sales pitch

he can hardly skip town.

You don't seem|very excited.

Did you see what|I just did in there?

I'm going to need|a minute, okay?

A bull is lighting a cigarette|in there because of me.

There goes my mark.

Hey, come on.|Let's go back to Dallas.

Oh my God! Quick!

No, no, no...

Oh...

Come on, quick.

That guy must hate|veterinarians.

No. No, Mr. Cedron

every... everything's under|control, okay?

I just need a little more time.

If everything's|so goddamn under control

tell me what that process server|was doing snooping around

Gordon's Ranch up in Durango|this morning.

What?

Listen, dirtbag,|by tomorrow morning

I'm going to have these papers|out to three other firms.

That means you better|get her served

by the end of the day,|or you're off the case.

You understand?

Yeah, yeah.

Page Tony!

Tony's holding on line two.

How'd he do that?

Where the hell are you?!

Don't give me any lip, Ray.

I got shot.

What?

Some nurse is about to pick|pellets out of my back

with a pair|of needle-nosed pliers.

So just chill, all right?

Lucky for you these wounds are|only superficial.

First we got to mow that lawn.

I've been meaning|to get that done anyway.

Mm-hmm.

Tony, where are you now?

Amarillo.

I found out Joe and the girl|were going to serve

Mr. Moore at his ranch|in Amarillo

so I figured I'd ambush 'em.

Amarillo?

Father, help me.

They are in Durango.

Du-Durango?

What the h...?

You know, that Joe's|getting to be

one big pain in my...

Sorry.

Must've snagged a weed.

I got a goddamn butcher here!

Durango.

Durango!

Yeah.

Oh, man.

Mm-hmm...

Whoa, nice house.

Thanks.

You know what?

I can't wait to check|Gordon's files

to see just who he thinks|he's selling my company to.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

What if somebody's home?

There's only Maria,|my housekeeper.

All right, at least|do me a favor, okay?

You go through the back|and get the files

and I'll distract|the housekeeper.

All right,|but be nice, okay?

I really like her.

I think I can|handle that.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm...

Hi.

Holy...

Can I help you?

Are you... Maria?

No, I'm Kate.

Do you know Maria?

Do I know Maria?|Do I know...?

Yes. Maria's my, uh...

second cousin,|twice removed.

Oh, my! Well, let me|get her for you...

Oh, no, no,|don't do that.

If I know Maria... and I do...

she's not going to want|to come downstairs

until she looks|like Salma Hayek

if you know what I'm saying.

Oh, okay.

Do you...?

Do you have...?

Do yo... Do you have|a bathroom or something

because when you say|Big Gulp up here in Texas

you're not kidding|around.

Oh, of course.|Come on in.

Oh, gracias.

Don't worry.|It's just number one.

Um, let me show you|where it is.

So, are you|from El Salvador?

What?

Well, Maria's|from El Salvador

so I figured...

Oh, that's right.|El Salvador High.

Go, Iguanas.|Cha-cha-cha.

Well, your English|is very good.

Well, we had cable,|so, you know.

Oh...

All right,|if you just look...

Is that all wine?

Yeah, my boyfriend

has quite the collection.

Well, he is a lucky man,|you pink goddess of love.

No more callers.

We've got a winner.

Wow.

I take it y'all don't have|a lot of wine

down in El Salvador.

What?

Oh, yes, no.

Where I'm from,|it's mostly margaritas.

Ol.

Have you ever had|a cabernet blend

that is so good|you drink it and drink it

and then you pour it|all over your privates?

I'm sorry,|I'm not all that into wines.

But my Gordy sure is.

"My Gordy"?!

Oh, boy.

Who the hell are you?!

Oh, you must be Sara.

And you must be banging|my husband.

I am truly sorry, Sara.

Mrs. Moore to you, okay?

Look, things happen.

You shouldn't blame|yourself.

Blame myself?

Are you insane?

I'm blaming you, you twinkie

and that a**hole|of a husband of mine.

So...

Come on, you!

Well, you just got

a quick glimpse|into your future.

When it happens to you,|page me.

Adios, twinkie.

Whoa.

Let's take the Jag.

Yeah, let's take the Jag.

I'd give my life for a hot bath.

What?

A hot... Are we suddenly deaf?

No. I just like hearing you|say "hot bath."

Oh. Well, I'd really like one.

I think I saw a Motel 6|around here somewhere.

Wouldn't you prefer|a five-star hotel?

Sara, your breasts are great,|but...

Joe.

Uh, I don't think

they're going to get us|into a five-star hotel.

Do you think cash would?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, hello, marble bathtub.

Yes!

Do you mind if I have|a $9 bottle of water?

- Coming up.|- Thanks.

So, it says here|that Gordon's going to sell

all his assets|to some company... Kobe West?

Yeah, and, let's not|forget, behind my back.

Music?

Yeah.

So, a quick divorce

then he makes|the deal, huh? Nice.

Yeah, I know.

Seems like Gordon cares|about the money

more than anything.

Unbelievable.

Yeah, unbelievable.

I have something else|to show you.

I did a bit more stealing|from Gordon.

In fact, I got his passport|so he can't leave the country.

Nice work, 99.

Thank you.

Hey, you know what?

He went to St. Barth's|twice in the last month.

And, hey, look at this.

Acapulco on the 17th.

That was our wedding|anniversary.

I distinctly remember|him saying

he had to do business|in Omaha.

Instead, he was, um,|doing Kate in Mexico.

Sara, if Gordon can't tell|how beautiful and sexy

and intelligent you are,|then he is an idiot.

And now I'm an idiot|for saying way too much.

Didn't sound like|too much to me.

'Cause when we're torn apart

Shattered and scarred

to save us

We're just|two tarnished hearts

When in each other's arms...

Am I hearing waves?

Don't you mean fireworks?

No, waves.

Bugger!

Oh!

Oh, God.

Sorry about that.

No, no, that's...

that's okay.

Well, I think I'll just, uh,|go ahead and get in the bath.

Great idea.

I got some Mr. Bubbles|in my bag.

Alone.

You know, I think|our priority has to be

to find Gordon.

Business first.

Right, yeah.

Business first.

You know, I was just about|to say the same thing, so...

- Okay.|- Okay.

Well, I'm going to go out|and get some fresh air...

alone.

- Hi.|- Hi.

I'm a veterinarian.

A cow just beeped me.

and she sunk it

and she drunk it

I had a run of good luck

right into the ground

a show

And I get to play the clown

and she took it...

Hey, hey, hey.|How's Maria?

Very funny.

Can I get you|something, honey?

I would really love|a Miller Longneck.

You got it.

Let's get down|to business, shall we?

Okay.

Look, Gordon is|a complete jerk.

This much we agree on.

And believe me,|I didn't need

his ex-wife|to tell me that.

I'm in it|for the money.

Really?

Yeah.

And I know how|this works.

If you serve Gordon first

then he's going|to New York

and Sara gets half|of a whole lot of money.

But to serve him,|you have to find him.

And you know where he is.

Look, there is no way

that Gordon's marrying me|without a prenup

so if I want to be|a really rich lady...

and I do...

I have got to wait|on him hand and foot

for the next 20 years.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Or... I can serve him up|to you for, let's say...

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Jay Scherick

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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