Serving Sara Page #7

Synopsis: A process server, Joe Tyler (played by Matthew Perry) is given the task of serving divorce papers on Sara Moore (Elizabeth Hurley), the wife of of a wealthy Texas businessman. To do so he needs to contend with her attempts at evasion and the attempts of a colleague to undermine him.
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director(s): Reginald Hudlin
Production: Paramount Pictures
 
IMDB:
5.3
Metacritic:
18
Rotten Tomatoes:
4%
PG-13
Year:
2002
99 min
$16,881,019
Website
225 Views


a million dollars?

And I'll never have|to see him again.

Everybody wins.

Except for Gordo.

Exactly.

Just one snag, though.

None of the money is mine.

I'd have to talk|to Sara first.

So talk.

Hey.

Hey. Nice robe.

Thank you.|Where'd you get to?

You'll see.

Hmm?

What the hell is she doing here?

She paged me.

Why?

Look, before you get|all in a... tizzy

hear her out, okay?

She's got a great plan.

Look, before we

get into all that

I just wanted to say, Sara

I feel really badly

about stealing your husband.

So badly, in fact, that there's|a guy I'd like you to meet.

Sara Moore,|you are hereby served

for divorce under the laws

governing the great|State of Texas.

Joe! Do something.

Take another one for my buddy

Joe here,|just to bust his balls.

Cheese.

Beautiful, beautiful.

Thank you. Mmm...

Classic honey trap.

Oldest trick in the book.

You should read it sometime.

Oh, and I'll see you|back in New York

when you come to|clean out your desk

ass wipe.

Look what I got.

He is cute.

It's too bad

he's just a process server.

So, one look at a girl|in tight pants and big tits

and suddenly you're stupid?

It's not the way this was|supposed to go down.

How could you blow this?

It seemed like a good idea|at the time.

Look, Sara,|can we just focus

on what we have to do now?

Yes, we can.

You can focus|on getting the hell out

of this hotel room.

Go. Get out of here.|Leave. Good-bye.

Good-bye?

That's it?

Yeah.

Go on. There's|nothing else to say.

You a genius, you hear me?

A goddamn genius!

That's all right.

You know what?

It's only been|three white geniuses ever.

Oh, yeah.

Da Vinci, Stallone|in the first Rocky

and now you, Tony.

Oh, thank you, Ray.

I swear...|I love you for this, boy.

I love you for this.

You know what?

I need you to fax me|a copy of the papers

take the originals|down to the courthouse

and get your butt back here.

Oh, yeah.

I'm going to buy you|the biggest steak in Manhattan.

You hear me?

On my way.|On my way, fast as I can.

Okay. Look here, you know what?

It's okay... fly first class.

First class?

- Good.|- First class... all right.

- What?|- Whoa, whoa... wait a minute.

Make that business class.

- Business? Okay.|- Mm-hmm.

I gotcha, uh-huh, huh

didn't ya?

what you promised me

Give it here, come on!

I wore myself out.

Did he...?

Wait a minute, I need a phone.

I need a phone!

Ray, Joe's on line one.

Hello, loser.

You little dirty...|you... you tried

to double-cross me, didn't you?

You know what?|I got something for you.

It's over.

Yeah, I guess|you really got me, Ray.

That's right.

Who's my b*tch, huh?

Who's my bi... tch?

Yeah, I'm your b*tch.

So, uh, did Tony|make the plane okay?

You know what? He sure did.

And he's flying|first class, too.

Oh... see...

I was really hoping

that he didn't drop|the papers off at city hall.

Well, you can hope|all you want to, Gladys

'cause he did. It's over.

Now, you probably have a, uh...

copy of that file|lying around somewhere.

Would you mind, uh, telling me

what time|my career officially ended?

I'd love to know that.

Remember it, write it down,|paint a picture...

I don't care what you do.

Seven, zero, and then

it's a big four after that.

It's over.

Yeah, that's so funny,|you know

because, uh, my watch here|says it's 6:15.

[Skipped item nr. 1684]

Looks like Retardo Montalban|forgot to set his watch back.

With the time difference|between here and New York

I can still serve Gordon.

I've still got 49 minutes. 49.

You know that number.

Your I.Q.

Hello?

Gordon Moore, Milt.

What do you got?

You want to hear what's great?

Your guy's got Lojack.

For a very reasonable|$50 surcharge

I can tell you exactly|where he is right now.

Milt, you are a beautiful,|beautiful man.

All right,|he's at the southwest corner

of Lakeville and Beverly.

I looked it up.|It's some fancy steak house.

You got it.

You just made five grand.

Sure, but after taxes...?

we will run our safety video.

the captain has turned on

and we'll be departing shortly.

as we back away from the gate.

Sir, please take your seat.

No, excuse me.

Uh, I'm a...|I'm a heart surgeon

and I got a patient that needs|an emergency... heart.

What's the matter?

I don't look like a goddamn|heart surgeon to you?!

Get in.

Are you high?

This is better. Look,|we don't have time for this.

It's over, you idiot.

You've blown it.

We have another hour|to get Gordon.

An hour?

Yeah, uh, Mrs. Siebler,|good news... yeah.

We-we got her.

Uh-huh, yeah, we did.

Listen, there is just|one tiny little thing.

We didn't "get her" get her,|though.

I... I mean, in a way,|we got her

but not like|if you get somebody.

You know how, you say

like if you was playing|hide-and-go-get-it

and you get it, but you don't|really get none of it

but you get it?

That's kind of the way|that we got her...

is she got, but not really got,|if you know what I'm saying.

It's kind of an enigma.

Now to us,|beef might be a big deal

but to a cow,|it's just another day.

You know what to do.

Keep them boys tethered.

Sit.

Shh.

Oh, and I got a belly full|of steer.

Gordon Moore!

I am hereby here|to serve you!

Gordo!

- This is Warren.|- Hey, Warren...

Gordon, finally, damn.

Look, Sara's been served

but there's been a problem.

Hey, you're telling|me there's a problem.

She and that process server

are crawling all over|my ass right now.

I got you, Gordo!

Ooh... damn longhorns.

Uh, Gordon...

Hang on.

Gordo!

Okay, go ahead. Yeah?

Gordon, this whole thing's

a little difficult|to explain right now.

They can still serve you, Gordon

so you can't let them catch you|or you're screwed.

Just stay away from them|for the next 22 minutes.

That'll be till 7:04.

Can you do that, do you think?

Uh...

Yeah, now I can.

Season ticket holder.

Yeah?

Look, I've just talked|to Warren.

Get your ass

down to Union Arena.

We got to keep Joe off|Gordon until 7:04.

Got it. Hey, Ray?

Yeah.

Where the hell's|the Union Arena?

I don't know.

You the one in Texas.

Time for the beasties to battle.

all afternoon.

And here we have the finals...

I have an idea.

What?

Just come on.

Hey, you can't come in here.

Does this phone work?

What are you doing?

Damn it, Cheryl, you|know as well as I do

in about 30 minutes 20,000

of those church-going fans

are going to be puking|up their vital organs

and it's not|going to be pretty.

Whoa. Who are you guys?

Center for Disease Control.

You see,|this man most recently

was bitten by a monkey|at our facility.

My, God, I wish|there was some way

we could warn these poor,|innocent people.

What's your name, son?

Rusty.

Rusty... have you ever|dreamed of being a hero?

Have you, Rusty?

have your attention, please?

Joe?

There is no need for alarm,|but if the individual

pictured on the screen|above you...

Nice job, Rusty...

is sitting anywhere near you

please get up and walk away from|him in a calm, orderly fashion.

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Jay Scherick

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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