Setup Page #6

GWEN:

You guys never include me unless

you need something from me!

TESS:

Because we f***ing hate you!

JENNA:

Can this discussion wait?

GWEN:

I’m sorry, but I’m done!

Gwen runs into the nearby bathroom and locks the door.

TESS:

DOES NOBODY HERE BELIEVE IN NO

CHILD LEFT BEHIND?

Tess turns and stares at the KNIFE BLOCK... and then goes

limp, causing everyone to fall over backwards.

34.

BACK TO KEATON/EUGENE:

EUGENE:

I like you guys, you know? We had a

good thing going. I don’t want my

last memory of you to be me burning

your bodies, but here we are.

KEATON:

Eugene, we can’t fall apart over a

little mix-up! Remember the time I

went to your niece’s confirmation?

(listening)

Of course I wanted to be there! I

only brought it up to remind you

how much I care about you.

Blair makes a jack off gesture. Keaton flips him off.

KEATON (CONT’D)

I know. I’ll figure it out. I know

you deserve better. I agree, we all

deserve better. Okay. Bye bye.

She hangs up, exhausted.

INT. EUGENE’S APARTMENT - SAME

Eugene snorts a line as Ziggy and Finch wait for a verdict.

ZIGGY:

How much do we think they’re lying,

scale of one to ten, five being the

highest?

EUGENE:

I wanna know what’s going on, too,

but these uppity fucks still stood

us up. We gotta go eye for an eye

and kill this Doug dude.

FINCH:

That is way more than eye for an

eye! Why can’t we just go talk to

Keaton face to face?

ZIGGY:

I’m down for that, if by “talk” you

mean “kill Doug,” and by “face to

face” you mean... face to face.

35.

FINCH:

This is business, no one wants to

deal with a bunch of violent thugs!

ZIGGY:

That’s like the number one kind of

thugs people go for!

Finch turns to Eugene, pleading his case.

FINCH:

Think about this. Doug’s a fall guy

at best. We could kill him, or we

could use him to get to Keaton. Why

not find out what’s really going

on? Just like you said yourself.

ZIGGY:

Great thinking, Eugene.

Eugene nods, as if he came up with the idea himself.

EUGENE:

Yeah, okay. Find Doug, find out

where Keaton’s at, and then call me

so I can tag in on this sh*t.

He points to Finch and Ziggy, then to himself --

EUGENE (CONT’D)

Good cop, bad cop.

PRE-LAP SFX:
BANG, BANG, BANG.

BACK TO TESS & JENNA’S APARTMENT:

Tess is pounding on the bathroom door --

TESS:

I’m gonna kill your cat and shove

it down your throat you Aaron Burr,

Benedict Arnold b*tch!

INSIDE THE BATHROOM, Gwen listens intently, stewing.

DOUG:

Come on. I have the last few re-ups

at my place, we might be able to

scrape up enough to cover it.

TESS:

We?

36.

Jenna spots her CELL PHONE, but Doug’s blocking her path to

get to it. Instead, she notices GWEN’S PHONE on the floor and

discretely picks it up, hiding it in the front of her pants.

DOUG:

You gotta come with me.

TESS:

I don’t want to!

DOUG:

Don’t make me point a gun at you.

Still high, Tess kicks into red alert, looking for an out.

TESS:

I’m not going without Jenna.

DOUG:

I don’t need Jenna.

TESS:

But she’s seen your face! What if

she goes to the cops and talks to a

sketch guy? She’s very descriptive.

She went to Oxford.

JENNA:

Are you for real right now?

Doug narrows his eyes. He clearly hadn’t thought of this.

DOUG:

Okay. You’re coming, too.

JENNA:

Me? What about Gwen? Take her!

DOUG:

She won’t be getting out of there.

Jenna whips around to Tess, pissed --

JENNA:

You just screwed yourself out of a

rescue, dumbass! I was gonna drink

like forty bottles of water, and

maybe eat like a quick sandwich,

and then run to the cops.

TESS:

A quick sandwich?

37.

JENNA:

And then run! Like ru-

Mid-word, Jenna FALLS TO THE GROUND, ASLEEP. Tess stares.

DOUG:

That also happens.

TESS:

Why the f*** does that--

Aaand... Tess’ eyes roll back as she flops to the floor --

CUT TO BLACK.

BLAIR (PRE-LAP)

You really think that went well?

INT. KEATON’S HOME BASE - NIGHT

Keaton and Blair hold court from high-end armchairs.

KEATON:

No, not really, but I’m not just

getting too old for this, I am

presently too old for this.

BLAIR:

You see what we’re doing right now?

Anxiously nit-picking how the call

went? You think that’s not

happening on the other side?

He has a point.

KEATON:

What’s your bright idea, then?

BLAIR:

Kill all of them, who gives a crap?

They’re a two-bit street gang,

their loved ones probably all OD’d

on cheap methamphetamines by now.

KEATON:

And how would we do that?

BLAIR:

I’d prefer to use a handgun, but a

brainstorm would be lovely.

38.

KEATON:

I mean how would we keep the

business going after we’ve

assassinated half our distribution?

Blair purses his lips. Knows she’s right.

KEATON (CONT’D)

I’d love to kill that low-life

prick. Truly. But we both know if

we cut this dick off it’ll be like

trying to castrate Hydra.

BLAIR:

Another dick will grow. I get it.

KEATON:

But if we’re making suggestions,

then I suggest you go babysit Doug.

Keaton holds out an ADDRESS. Jotted down during the call.

BLAIR:

Fine. But you owe me.

KEATON:

Don’t even start.

Blair reaches toward a credenza and PUSHES ON A KEY HOLE. A

SECRET COMPARTMENT opens, revealing a SLEEK SILENCED PISTOL.

QUICK, DRUG-INDUCED DREAM SEQUENCE:

COCAINE RAINS DOWN INSIDE AN HOURGLASS --

TESS’ DATING APP NOTIFICATION BLARES, “OUT OF OPTIONS” --

CLOSE ON SOMEONE’S MOUTH BEING FILLED WITH BLUE SLURPEE -

DOUG REACHES TO HIS EAR AND PULLS HIS FACE OFF, MISSION

IMPOSSIBLE-STYLE, TO REVEAL HE HAS A CAT’S FACE INSTEAD -

TESS (PRE-LAP)

AHHHHHHHHHH!

INT. TESS’ CAR - MOVING - NIGHT

Tess wakes up SCREAMING, then realizes she’s in a moving car.

She sees Jenna in the back seat and shakes her awake.

JENNA:

Oww, dude! Stop! I’m awake.

39.

They look to Doug, then look around at the car.

TESS:

You’re carjacking now, too?

DOUG:

I’ll give it back.

TESS:

Is this a date rape?

DOUG:

You have to go on a date first for

that. If anything, this would be a

regular rape.

JENNA:

...is this a regular rape?

DOUG:

NO!

Tess tries the door handle, but the child locks are on. Sh*t.

DOUG (CONT’D)

You have the right to attempt

escape, but anything you say or do

can and will be used against you at

a later juncture.

JENNA:

What is that, our Patty Hearst

rights?

Doug taps Tess with his GUN, waving her away from the door.

TESS:

Technically, we did go on a date.

DOUG:

(realizing)

That’s why you were talking to me?

TESS:

Why were you talking to me? Why

didn’t your business partner come

up and interrupt?

DOUG:

I f***ed up. I must’ve gone to the

wrong restaurant.

40.

JENNA:

That’s a pretty big coincidence,

isn’t it? You both being there?

DOUG:

No, I think me being a f***ing

idiot is pretty much god given.

Tess and Jenna can’t help but empathize. None of them notice

a BLACKED-OUT SEDAN crawling up to the stoplight...

INT./EXT. ZIGGY’S SEDAN - MOVING - NIGHT

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