Setup Page #5

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK.

27.

TESS:

Stop it, I’m doing it. You don’t

need to make a bunch of noise.

JENNA:

I’m not doing that noise.

TESS:

What is it then? It feels like it’s

coming from my corneas.

They stand there for a second, not getting it, then --

JENNA:

The door!

TESS:

Uh oh.

JENNA:

WHY “UH OH?”

INT. KEATON’S HOME BASE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Keaton paces back and forth. Blair sits sipping a scotch, too

cool for panic. Or perhaps just a tad too psychotic.

KEATON:

I have to call the buyers.

BLAIR:

Call them? Are you out of your

actual mind? We’re talking about a

guy who once set a man on fire and

then used that man to light his

entire family on fire.

KEATON:

That’s exactly why I need to call!

If they think we bailed on purpose,

we’re dead! We have to try to

maintain an honest relationship.

BLAIR:

Honest relationship? We’re still

dealing in illegal narcotics, yes?

KEATON:

Don’t get cute.

BLAIR:

Get cute? I mean, look at me.

28.

Keaton scoffs, upset she walked into that one.

KEATON:

If I could go back in time, I’d-

BLAIR:

Tell mom to have an abortion?

KEATON:

No. I’d go back, study to become a

doctor, and then do it myself.

Blair nurses hurt feelings with a sip of scotch.

INT. TESS & JENNA’S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

The KNOCKING has grown louder now. Tess slowly army crawls to

the door, peeking through the blinds to see: DOUG.

DOUG:

Hi.

The blinds snap shut.

TESS:

He saw me.

JENNA:

How does he know where we live?

TESS:

I kinda asked him to walk me home.

JENNA:

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?

TESS:

You told me to! I was still

deciding if I was gonna bone him!

JENNA:

Hi, I’m Tess, I’m so stupid I

almost had sexual relations with a

drug dealer named DOUG.

DOUG (O.S.)

Open up or I’ll punch it down!

JENNA:

If you get another one of our doors

broken down, I swear to god.

Tess opens the door. Doug slips in, shutting it behind him.

29.

DOUG:

I need you to gimme back the gift I

gave you. It’s the wrong... size.

TESS:

We know it was drugs, friend-o.

JENNA:

Tess!

TESS:

It’s not like he doesn’t know!

JENNA:

Stop yelling! It’s making my heart

beat out of my f***ing chest!

TESS:

That’s OBVIOUSLY the drugs!

Doug can’t believe his ears. He pulls a HANDGUN out of his

waistband, instantly quieting the girls.

DOUG:

You took some of the drugs?

TESS:

I’ll answer that if you promise to

never go in the bathroom.

Interest level:
activated.

INT. KEATON’S HOME BASE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Keaton raises a phone to her ear. Deep breath.

KEATON:

Eugene, hi. It’s Keaton. Keaton.

Your supplier. Oh, you -- I see.

Funny joke, Eugene. That’s good.

INT. EUGENE’S APARTMENT - SHITTY NEIGHBORHOOD - SAME

A stark change of scenery. Dimly lit. Henchmen counting cash.

EUGENE, 30s, sits in a beanbag chair wearing gold L.A. Lights

and a leather snapback. Equal parts unhinged and exasperated,

Eugene would kill his own mother if it made him a buck.

EUGENE:

Hurts your feelings when someone

forgets who you are, doesn’t it?

30.

Eugene’s cronies, ZIGGY and FINCH, listen nearby. ZIGGY, 30s

female, is a quirky, over-caffeinated enforcer. FINCH, 30s

male, is a whiny, wiry buzzkill.

INTERCUT KEATON/EUGENE:

KEATON:

I didn’t forget who you are,

Eugene, I would never do that!

(listening)

I know you had someone waiting. I

know that’s embarrassing. I don’t

like being stood up, either.

(listening)

That’s why I wanted to reach out

myself and explain the situation!

EUGENE:

Situation? Here’s the situation. I

paid you for drugs. You didn’t

deliver those drugs. And now I have

to murder someone about it!

KEATON:

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Just hang on. Is

it at all possible that one of your

guys accidentally gave Doug the

wrong address?

Eugene turns to Finch --

EUGENE:

Did you give Doug the wrong place?

FINCH:

(overly-defensive)

No way! Why would I do that?

EUGENE:

(into phone)

No. Not possible.

Keaton inhales a deep breath. Not sure where to begin.

KEATON:

Look. You and I know in our line of

work, not everybody has a proper

education. Sometimes people like

you and I... we have to put up with

a certain level of... stupidity.

Eugene glances to Ziggy and Finch. Blank stares all around.

31.

EUGENE:

I’m familiar.

KEATON:

Well, one of our guys, Doug... is

the exact kind of stupidity I’m

talking about. What happened is,

well, he made a little... boo boo.

EUGENE BLAIR:

Boo boo? Boo boo?

KEATON (CONT’D)

Yes. A boo boo.

Keaton listens, then sighs. Can’t believe what she’s saying.

KEATON (CONT’D)

It’s kind of hilarious when you

think about it, but it sounds like

Doug went to the wrong restaurant,

and then accidentally delivered

your product to... a random girl.

(beat, listening)

It’s September, so... no. This

wouldn’t be for April Fools.

(listening)

Look, I’m gonna kill the girl

that’s involved, Eugene!

(listening)

Of course I can show you the body.

I wouldn’t have it any other way!

BACK TO TESS & JENNA’S APARTMENT:

Doug walks from the bathroom to the couch and flops down, GUN

still in his hand. Jenna approaches cautiously.

JENNA:

Hey... buddy. Can we get you

anything? Water? Pop Tart?

TESS:

Ooh, make it two.

Jenna shoots Tess a look --make your own.

DOUG:

You have no idea what you just did.

TESS:

Sure we do. We all just went over

there and looked at it.

32.

DOUG:

You know how when you’re on coke

you feel like you can do anything?

TESS:

I can do anything. I’m a twenty-

first century woman.

JENNA:

Preach.

DOUG:

This drug is like that, times ten.

JENNA:

Wait, this wasn’t coke?

DOUG:

It’s synthetic. Purest sh*t on the

market. Nobody has it but us.

JENNA:

Does it have a cool nickname?

DOUG:

No? I don’t know. Like “really,

really awesome drugs.”

JENNA:

How about “f***-dust?”

DOUG:

Are you even listening?

Tess blinks at Doug, then at his gun -- eyes wild.

TESS:

Times ten you said?

DOUG:

Yeah...

TESS:

I think it’s kicking in.

In a flash, Tess turns and RUNS FOR THE KITCHEN. Doug sprints

after her, Jenna in tow, lunging toward the counter --

Doug grabs Tess’ arm, holding her back, but Jenna dives onto

his leg, keeping him from grabbing her entirely.

Tess stretches her fingers toward a KNIFE BLOCK, inching for

a weapon, but can’t quite make contact.

33.

DOUG:

I’m stronger than you.

TESS:

Maybe physically, but my will power

is through the roof right now.

JENNA:

GWENNN! GWEN, GET IN HERE!

DOUG:

Who’s Gwen? Is someone else here?

Right on cue, Gwen emerges from her room holding a CAT. The

trio momentarily stops struggling, holding their ground.

JENNA:

You have a cat?

GWEN:

There are a lot of things you guys

would know about me if you took the

time to ask.

TESS:

(too aggressive)

OUR BUILDING DOESN’T ALLOW PETS,

YOU DICK. NOW HELP US!

Doug snaps back into action, pulling on Tess’ arm. Gwen

debates the odd situation, watching from afar.

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