Sev beni

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SUPPORTED BY:

UKRAINIAN STATE FILM AGENCY

AND MINISTRY OF CULTURE & TOURISM

OF THE REPUBLIC OF TURKEY

Producers

OIENA YERSHOVA, M. BAHADIR ER

PRESENTS:

A FILM BY MARYNA ER GORBACH

AND MEHMET BAHADIR ER

LOVE ME:

What a fantastic goal!

Your fiance's friend

looks like a Slavic.

Look how she is dancing, it's obvious

she also wants to get married.

Let me meet her by inviting her

to your place to watch match.

Which team does

your fianc support?

- Are you joking?

- I don't know, I didn't ask.

- Don't you even know which team she is for?

- We never talked about this.

So what did you talk about then?

- Cemal, brother...

- What's the matter?

Your mother ask you

to come henna ceremony, come on.

- What do I have to do there?

- You are gonna make henna...

- Ok, tell her I'm coming.

- Come on!

Your mother found

and brought girl to you.

But you can't even ask

which team she is for?

Why I should talk

to a woman about football?

Your mother is great.

You wouldn't have found a girl like this.

Just if she would realized this is

your engagement party not the circumcision.

It is enough.

- Stop, stop...

- My mother called.

Bro, why you getting anger so easily?

We have decided to

you a favor with Uncle Ergun.

- What kind of favor?

- A travel. - Where to?

We take you to Ukraine.

No brother, I know what

my uncle does over there.

I wouldn't go to Ukraine.

Cemal, come please,

your mom gets angry.

Right, I'm coming.

Look at your face and

you are still chasing women.

Don't dump us, be a man.

- Be a man.

- I will think about.

- Promise?

- We will see.

- Just like a man.

- Let me see.

- (IN RUSSIAN) How are you?

- Quite good. - Yes, I see.

- How's Alexander?

- Fine.

What kind of style are

we going to make today?

I want something unusual.

- Let's make a stork.

- A stork?

Let's make...

No, a stork will be very unambiguous.

Let's make a kitty.

A kitty! Again a kitty!

It is a well-tried option,

Verochka, let's...

Ok! Let's make... a kitty.

- Don't afraid. - I don't...

- Relax everything is ok...

You have such tender skin...

Hold it.

You love your husband

very much, don't you?

Do you love?

Yes, I do.

Hold it a bit.

I love him very much.

Hush, hush! Don't fool me.

- Help me...

- Hush!

Mummy...

So how about a stork?

(IN TURKISH) Dear friends!

Please, distribute this among everyone.

Here we have all

necessary information...

greetings, the words that you will

use in communication with a women.

Dear passengers of Vural Turizm!

Welcome to Kyiv!

Dear friends, let me tell you

about the history of this city.

Once upon a time, there was

a psychopathic King of Vikings.

As he hated ugly women.

So, he was killing all the ugly ones

on his way from Scandinavia until here,

ugly women jumped into the

Black Sea and swam to Turkey.

Beautiful ones remained in Ukraine.

The other ones - in Turkey.

Slow down!

Bro, let's go to the city and see.

So many beautiful women

lived here, of course...

the Polish, the German Nazis

and the communists attacked these lands,

they killed all the men, and after Chernobyl

exploded, they were almost no men here,

those who survived drank vodka.

Now, I am not a pimp...

but there are two types of women.

The first type is a simple one: One shot

is 100 dollars, double shot is 150 dollars.

This is the most wished one,

you f*** and you go.

One minute, bro, what happens if

you make more than a double shot?

One goal on a foreign field

counts as 2 goals.

The second type of women is dangerous.

They are looking for husbands.

It is not our type.

They want kindness,

tenderness, romance.

New Year eve... Valentine's Day...

msn, twitter, Facebook etc.

Are you ready to deal with it?

If you say:
"Yes, I will!

I am sentimental... I want to be in love..."

Ok, invite her for dinner,

for a drink, do it!

Just don't come to me and cry:

"Vural bro, she didn't want me".

She has the right not to give.

She is a human being too!

Now, friends, you will have

great time in Kyiv.

Vural Turizm, try our best.

But, please remember,

you never know who will give to whom.

Don't forget that we should represent

our country in the best possible way.

Look, son, here you will get

the knowledge of woman.

When you return home, you will

be the head of your family.

If you do something wrong, you will

find me the first against you.

Don't worry, uncle,

what happens here, stays here.

He got it on the first try.

Congratulation, son...

(IN UKRAINIAN) Hello, mum, hi!

Thanks, mum.

Thanks for reminding

me of how old I am.

Ok, mum, I will call you

back later, ok?

Yeah, kisses.

(THE USER ALEXANDER IS BUSY)

"I will call you back, my wife is here".

This is life, this is it...

Follow me, they are just talking.

- Put it in your mouth.

- No, thanks, bro.

- Take it, you will f*** until morning.

- I can do it by myself.

I am desperate for a f*** tonight,

even if I'd be the one who gets shagged.

I booked a lodge upstairs,

we can watch from there.

At the time of communism

here was a theatre.

After privatization they

decorated it to a night club.

Bro, they did it very well.

If our theatres were used

like this, I would live there.

The golden rule here is to show

that you are very rich man.

If you would be a bit better looking than

monkey here then life gets better for you.

Has your father talked to you

about these issues before?

Which issues?

About whipping up some sour cream

and going on date with Pamela Handerson.

Uncle, stop it.

There is nothing shameful

to talk about these things.

Look, this is woman! Very beautiful.

You take her to the hotel

having in one pocket

100 dollars, in the other

- 150 dollars, ok?

But you don't give it until

you finished, or she will be very fast.

Don't be shy, my nephew,

you will learn this things.

Bro, you are lucky with Uncle,

we got all this through hand experience.

Ok, ok, I have enough of you!

You're ashamed of me, but it's much better

than if you are ashamed of your wife.

- Do you have a condom?

- Uncle, enough! - I have one for you.

The girl is watching.

(IN RUSSIAN) Thank you.

I will give you a special one.

What are you talking about?

This is a ribbed one

with strawberry flavour, 2 in 1,

together with yours, 3 in 1.

- She is watching again.

- They all know everything.

Did you like her?

- Do you like her?

- Should we take her?

No, we don't want... don't...

They are not sad,

they are professionals...

Some are like white gold,

some - like yellow gold.

Are you sad if someone leaves your

shop without buying anything? No.

There will be somebody

who will buy, for sure.

Ergun uncle, each two months

you are coming to Kyiv for business...

and now you make a show of it to us.

Don't change the topic, you, monkey!

What are you talking about?

Of course, I am coming and going.

I am a businessman.

Water, please.

Are there any foreigners?

Bro, stand up, come on, stand up!

Stand up, my son, don't miss

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