Seven and a Half Page #2

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are f***ing Indians!

Who was Gandhi? Tell me!

F***ing Indian!

Hare, Hare! Krishna, Krishna!

Gandhi, Gandhi! Hare, Hare!

Hare, Hare! Krishna, Krishna!

Gandhi, Gandhi! Hare, Hare!

And you livin' in Gagarin's

street are cool, right?

Gagarin was the first man

in space, my son!

Russian, Orthodox! He took

a crap on all of you Indians!

Watch out, here comes the

real Orthodox piece of sh*t,

right out from space!

- Gagarin wasn't Ortodox.

Really? What was he? Hare

Krishna? - Communist!

My father was a comunist too,

and now he's Orthodox, jerk!

Isn't it so, uncle Miki? You

were a comunist, and now

you are Ortodox, right?

- I don't know, my son.

I live in Nehru's street.

- Jesus! Another Indian!

Gandhi wasn't Indian.

Indians live in America,

and Hindus live in India!

Come 'ere,

I'll bust your face!

Tadija, don't!

Bro, do you need some milk?

- Tomorrow!

Today is a fruit day.

Tell me, where do you live?

- In Youth Brigades street.

Yeah! That's it!

My Orthodox darling!

Let me kiss your boob!

Now it's time for

uncle Tadia's rest.

Maybe we'll f*** tomorrow.

Don't get all excited!

It's not a promise.

Tadic! I'm the strongest!

My son! Just one more!

I'll do it myself! - Ok.

Is it true that he was skinny?

- Who? - Tadija.

Yes, son. Skinny like a stick.

Good for nothing.

What the f***...

Spahija sent him to buy some

cigarettes, he refused.

And Spahija broke his nose.

Then Spahija went down,

and Tadija started going to

the gym. He's been waiting

for this day, for 5 years!

Skinny like a stick...

And now, he's the strongest

in the hood.

I'll be like that one day!

Look, son! You don't get to

be the strongest by exercising.

Yeah? - Chemistry, my son,

chemistry...

But chemistry isn't healthy.

It stays in your organism.

Who gives a f***! You just

take a crap in the morning,

and it's all gone.

But I'm always taking a crap

in the evening. - How come?

Don't know what to tell you,

s0n.

Something is wrong with you

I must say that I owe

all this... Only to me!

I didn't have any help from

sponsors or... what's it called?

Help from the community!

- Today is your milk day, right?

Is there any chocolate milk?

No?

What about cookies?

- I'm sorry, man! I'm stupid.

Yes, you are! Chocolate milk,

bananas and cookies! Run!

...59,60!

Krishna I've heard you've been

takinga crap in the morning?

Well, yes... - Bro, I'm sorry.

I'm really stupid. - Koki?

You're still here? - No.

- No? - Yes.

And what are you waiting for?

Money? - Nnn... no.

No? - Yes. - Listen, darlin',

if I had money,

I could buy all that myself!

Be inventive, Koviljka!

There's jungle out there!

Krishna, are you mad? - Why?

- Where did you hear that

body builders are taking a crap

in the morning?! - When, then?

When every real champion

does it! In the high noon!

Count! - Bro... Now I don't even

know when to take a crap!

What did you say? - Nothing.

Did you called me,, bro",

or was I imagining things?!

You were imagining...

Listen, we could

never be brothers.

Spahija can be your bro.

He's from Gandhi's street.

He's Indian! Tadija Tadic

is a son of Serbia,

and you are his enemies.

And that's why Tadija Tadic

is gonna take revenge for

Kosovo, Milos Obilic,

Tzar Lazar, and the greatest

of all! Tzarina Milica!

Tadiiic! I'm the strongest!

Koviljka! - Hey, Koviljka!

Sit with us for a while.

- How come you're not in jail?

Me? Why's that?

- Koki's in love, you know...

Really? Who's the guy?

- You know, that body builder.

See, she buys him milk

so he can grow.

Good for you, Koki!

Everything for love, hey?

Love will conquer all!

- You're such jerks!

Wait, Koki!

Have a drink with us!

I hear he wants to beat

Spahija. - Yeah, bro!

He's gonna kill him!

- What are you drinking? - Soda.

And where is it?

What's wrong, little Indians?

Do you use chemistry?

My poor little Krishna...

I drank the whole factory!

Take a break, man!

- Let me be, bro.

I'm burning my fat!

I'm f***ing nervous

when I'm fat! I'm mad!

Take some traquilizers, bro!

Don't bark on me!

Like a f***ing chivava!

What should I start with?

- With this! I say, milk!

Gallons and gallons of it,

every day! I say, cookies!

I say eggs, potatoes!

And stakes!

And, of course, steroids rule!

That's the best to begin with.

So... I say, steroids!

The mass comes in first,

'cause mass is

the mother of it all!

Being massive is stupid.

Definition rules!

Go, then! And work

on the construction!

You'll be defined! Just like

all those poor guys!

Carry some sacks! - I don't

wanna be like them.

I'll do it nicely, so you can

see every muscle.

Like the Master, over there.

Look at him! There's no fat,

pure muscle,

ligament and tendons.

You want me to tell you who

Bruce Lee was? He was a p*ssy!

Chinese! Ass! Indian! He should

be smuggling clothes,

and selling shoes for 3 Euros!

- Why are you so pissed?

Hello, countryman! Where's

your mass, f***ing c*nt!?

You f***ing Chinese joke!

That's what he is! A joke!

He was Japanese... - Listen...

Spahija is in the cafe.

And you are telling me now?

Now?!

Ok...

Weeks are passing by,

your weight increases,

muscles get bigger and bigger,

wanting more and more.

And then you surprise them.

By an amino acid shot!

You still increase the weights.

At that time, your dick won't

work. Not for a few weeks.

F*** it, you have to pay, bro!

Not like that c*nt, Bruce Lee.

Taking cocaine and f***ing

every night! That's no athlete!

When you realise you would

kick your father's ass

for not saying Good Morning,

you leave the steroids.

You go on food, 10 eggs,

tons of milk, everything.

Then it's time for amphetamins.

You go nights without sleeping,

and you're so f***ing strong!

You go to the gym 3 times

a day! Pushing garbage cans

all the way to the river bank

and back. And you f***

like it's Christmas!

If you have someone to f***.

If not, just push those cans!

F*** it!

And then you know you're ready.

When you spend 5 years

in the gym Hell.

When your arms are hams,

and your body a steel safe,

when you kill

with your left hand,

and your right hand

gives you chills...

Then you know that you're

ready to kill Spahija.

Ready to kill f***ing Indian

from Gandhi's street.

To bust his nose! Make him

bleed! To brake his nose!

So he could know! What's

it like when everybody's

laughing at you! To cry through

your puberty! Not having a date!

When you're having insomnia!

When, at age of 15,

you're snoring like an

old fart! - So help you God!

Skinny Bones, you grew up?

Now you're Fat Bones.

But you're missing a bone.

Tadic! I'm the strongest!

- You're very big.

But I've heard

your balls got tiny.

And your dick is like a worm.

- I'll kill you!

I've heard you've been waiting

to beat me for 5 years?

I ain't gonna beat you.

I'm gonna kill you!

Fine, Skinny Bones! But first,

show me your dick.

C'mon! - I'll kill you!

I'll kill you, Spahija!

So what if it's small.

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