Seven Dwarfs Page #5

---

Hear that? These guys rule!

You da' bomb!

You should get your own show.

I look into the woods...

I see good dwarves, bad dwarves...

A smile that's kind and good...

old or young...

you love good dwarves, bad dwarves...

because they bring you fun.

Open the gate!

I just can't tell jokes.

Especially jokes like that.

Doctor jokes. Who came up with that?

You certainly look like it.

Who was that guy?

Every idiot thinks

they can be a jester. What next?

The joke.

- What? - Joke!

Oh. Right. I know that one.

A woman goes to the doctor.

And she says,

"It hurts to press here. And here.

And pressing here also hurts."

So the doctor goes,

"You have a broken finger."

Who thought of that stupid joke?

He forgot the punch line.

The woman is a brunette.

Brunette. Brilliant.

The joke is mine, obviously.

Spliss, you are a born entertainer.

You have such beautiful tips.

Mind if I touch them?

All right, fine. But make it quick.

Snow White's are much nicer, though.

Out!

Do you think you'll make the cut?

- No.

Next!

- Right!

Let's go.

To the doctor. Funny!

Enough of this nonsense.

Er... Right.

Woman! Doctor! Ow!

Or this...

Too loud.

Louder?

A brunette with a broken finger

goes to the doctor...

That was the punch line.

What are you doing?

I've never broken anything.

Because I'm careful.

Did you know that most

accidents occur at home...

Some b*tch goes to the doctor...

Do you have to be so negative?

You don't even know her...

- So? I know chicks.

Anyway, a woman goes to the doctor...

Doctors are crooks!

- The doctor asks what the problem is.

Her money! She won't have any left!

- And she says...

HMOs treat you like cattle.

And the services are all lousy.

That's the problem with our society.

- We need more justice. Equality...

And fraternity.

- Right. This whole mess...

makes you wanna go: Fu...

...crying out loud!

Hello.

A jest.

There was this woman.

And this woman,

she went to the doctor.

What do you want? - I want

to restore liberty to the land.

What?

I'll seize power, depose...

the evil queen

and liberate Snow White.

Not bad, eh?

I like that. "Liberate Snow White."

And the woman says to the doctor,

the one that she'd gone to:

"Doctor", she says,

"If I press here...

it hurts."

Don't be afraid, my child.

I'm here to accompany you

on this difficult journey.

I bring you a sign,

a sign that there's life...

after crimping.

Father!

Holy father.

So, doctor...

if I press here...

then...

My God, why is this so difficult?

It's a perfectly simple joke:

A brunette comes to the doctor and

says:
"When I press here, it hurts.

When I press here, it hurts,

and when I press here, it also hurts."

Says the doctor:

"You have a broken finger."

Wonderful! Spliss, you are fabulous!

I have a fantastic idea...

Why can't I keep my mouth shut?

Look at that! Cheap!

I can't rule like this.

Come on.

Go on.

Yummy! Breakfast!

Speaking of...

Yesterday, at home.

The egg was too soft.

I let my wife have it! I was like:

"B*tch! If that happens one more time...

I'll throw it right in your face."

You said that to her?

Well... not in those words.

What I said was:

"The egg is great, darling.

But another minute

would've been nice." To her face!

That's crazy.

Right on.

Sh*t. A bloodhound.

I know that dog.

Don't worry,

he's harmless. He likes me.

We've come to the following verdict:

For the crime...

of deliberate and delicious beauty...

and attempted...

escape from the kingdom,

the accused, Snow White,

will receive the highest penalty.

The chair.

And that means:

Crimped for life.

Boss?

- What's that?

That saw?

Saw? Of course.

It's time

we saw a blessing around here.

It is indeed a blessing...

that I might have the last word,

for I am...

Not again.

A woman goes to the doctor...

Where was I?

- "That I might have the last word,

for I am..." Right.

That I might have the last word,

for I am...

Brummboss! My crown!

Yes. I have the crown.

I am your nce and future king.

That is the law.

Promise you'll never leave me again.

I promise.

Spliss!

Do something.

Yes, your Majesty.

Security!

My men!

One word!

Just one stupid word!

Hey, dwarves, hey, dwarves, ho!

Thank you, boys.

I am proud of you. All of you.

A princely reward awaits you.

Take off your caps.

I will now drop this feather.

Whosoever it lands on shall receive...

my daughter's hand in marriage.

Excuse me?

You always wanted a fairy-tale prince.

Now your dream will come true.

Let fate decide.

Out of my way!

- Move over!

Each and every one of them

is a prince.

Well, the thing is...

- And they have all proven themselves.

They are ready for...

the greatest challenge of all:

Marriage.

But I've already found my prince.

Come again?

A man with a great sense of humor

and great hair.

He even quit smoking for me.

He was there for me when I needed him.

Wazzup, Daddy!

You ought to be proud of her.

She's got great taste in men.

And she's got a sense of humor.

Got one for you:
How do you

entertain a bru... a blonde for hours?

Take a piece of paper

and write "turn over" on both sides.

That's fate... Boys?

Hey, dwarves, hey, dwarves,

hey, dwarves, ho!

Go! Go! Go!

Yes!

Well, we all learned something.

- Yeah, like what?

That broads are cold and brutal.

- Yes, they are!

They use you and throw you away.

- Yes, they do!

That'll never happen again.

- No, it won't!

We're done with chicks.

- Yes, we are!

Excuse me?

I was on my way to my grandma's...

to bring her some cake and wine.

And then I saw your house...

and I thought,

maybe I could rest for a bit...

I had a dream about you!

Who are you, anyway?

We're the seven dwarves.

I thought dwarves were smaller.

Most people think that.

- A common misconception.

Why don't you come in?

And so the story came to a funny end.

THAT night.

Untertitel

Emanuel Bergmann...

Film und Video Untertitelung

Gerhard Lehmann AG

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes