Seven Psychopaths Page #6

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Goodbye.

And as the Jack O' Diamonds

dies in their arms, he whispers,

"We did good, we did good,

didn't we, Marty?"

And through your tears, you say,

"Ah, bejesus, Jack,

"we did more than good. We did grand."

Jack says, "All I ever wanted was to be your

friend. Marty, I'm your friend now, ain't I?"

And you say, "Ah, bejesus, sure,

you're me best friend, Jack.

"You're me best friend."

And then the Jack O' Diamonds dies.

And as his soul leaves his body

to go dance with the angels,

we pan up over the blood-strewn cemetery

and off into the pretty blue skies of dawn.

Skies blue enough to suggest

that maybe there can be peace

one day in this troubled but beautiful world.

Maybe there can be peace

because that would be good!

That's the end?

Yeah!

So, opinions?

Well...

It's very...

- I like it.

-You like it? Hey!

All right.

- It's got layers, you know.

-Layers?

Like a pie. Like a cake.

It's got... It's got many layers.

This is an important demographic.

So, what do you think?

I think it's very, it's very, you know...

- Moving.

-Very... Moving. Moving.

I was paying attention, I'll tell you that.

You were... Moving.

It's impossible

for someone's head to actually explode,

isn't it? When it gets shot.

No, no, it's possible.

If the person's head

was made out of explosives, it's possible.

Yeah. I like that.

Hans.

Billy's a psychopath, Hans.

I guess he's made it into your movie, then?

Hi, Hans. Hi, Mart.

Marty, is that what I think it is?

If you think it's a bottle of bourbon,

then yeah.

Do you want some?

- Hans.

-Are you not gonna say something?

Where's the peyote, Billy?

Oh, are we gonna have a peyote party?

Why not?

I think

I'd have made a great Pope.

- I'd have been very lenient.

-You'd have made an awesome Pope, Hans.

Hans,

isn't one of us gonna address

the elephant in the room?

The what?

Yeah, who's on the f***ing peyote

around here, Marty'?

Paw.

Paw.

I'm sorry if I haven't been

a very good friend to you, Billy.

Paw.

You've been a good friend to me, Marty.

What are you talking about?

Why did you kill all those people?

Why did you kill all those people?

Like I told you at Kaya's party, I killed

all those people to spur you on a little bit

and give you something to write about

and get you to finish your screenplay.

You told me...

When?

I can't believe you told me about this

at the party, man!

Maybe I am an alcoholic

if I could forget something like that.

Maybe I am an alcoholic.

Okay, listen. I didn't tell you about it

at the party.

I was just kidding about that

because you surprised me,

and it would have been ridiculous

telling you at the party.

You might have told somebody,

got me in trouble.

Then why did you just tell me

that you told me'?

To make you think a little bit about

your alcohol issues. How about that?

Billy, you kill women!

I killed a woman. Take it easy.

- You shot her in the stomach, Billy.

-That's better than the head, ain't it?

- Not really, no.

-I said I was sorry, didn't I?

Yeah, well...

I don't hang out with people

who kill women, Billy,

and I certainly don't

write screenplays with them.

What are you talking about, Marty?

You'd best pack the tent up, Billy.

It's over.

It's over?

Now what...

Where's this other f***ing nutcase?

Hans!

Hans.

Hans. We're leaving.

My wife is sitting on a chair someplace.

Some gray place.

I thought she'd be in Heaven,

but she's sitting on a chair

with a bullet in her head.

I thought they'd have cleaned

that kind of stuff up.

Maybe you've just eaten too many

hallucinogenic cactuses tonight, Hans.

Nothing to do with the hallucinogens.

But you've just seen Myra on a chair

with a bullet through her head.

In some gray place.

England?

It seemed a lot worse than that.

Wow.

Listen, Hans, what say we talk about this

on the drive home?

I mean, we may find

some perfectly reasonable...

Jesus.

Billy.

Billy?

In the tent, dumbo.

What?

Now don't get mad.

What the hell did you do?

I set the car on fire.

How the hell are we supposed to get home?

We're in the middle

of the f***ing desert, Billy.

Yeah, that's the least of our worries.

What else did you do?

I'll give you a clue.

Come on in.

So, yeah, I just called up old Charlie Costello

and I told him where we were and

to come down and get his dog back

and said if he had any trouble finding us,

just look for a Buick on fire.

But I did tell him to promise to come alone

and unarmed, and he said he would.

And he'll be here in a couple of hours,

depending on traffic.

Now, I've labeled these guns for you,

but you totally don't have to use them.

I won't think you're pussies,

but I'm gonna hang on to mine.

I think we've done enough of this

"talking about peace in the desert" type stuff.

Don't you?

I do. This movie ends my way.

Well, that's just f***ing great! Oh, great!

You know what that is'?

Do you know what that is?

- Great?

-That's just f***ing great!

How far is the walk to the Welcome Center?

We can't leave him.

You ain't gonna fight.

Of course I ain't gonna fight,

but I ain't gonna run.

- What are you gonna do, then?

-I guess I'm gonna die.

- Friends don't make their friends die, Hans.

-Psychopathic friends do.

You're the one who thought

psychopaths were so interesting.

They get kind of tiresome after a while,

don't you think?

Is that a guinea pig? It's a gerbil, isn't it?

That's enormous.

Hey, Marty, we just seen

some kind of giant gerbil.

Marty, you alcoholic f***ing bastard.

You might wanna stop drinking, Martin,

if this is the way you're gonna behave.

If this is the way I'm gonna...

This guy just telephoned a psycho-killer

to come down and psycho-kill us.

And this guy's doubting a lifelong belief

in the afterlife

because of a psychedelic cactus he just ate.

And you motherfuckers

are telling me to behave?

Time out. What's all this about doubting

a lifelong belief in the afterlife

because of a psychedelic cactus

you just ate'?

- Hans, what the heck?

-I met Myra.

On the ridge. She had some things to say.

About the afterlife being non-existent

or something'?

That was the gist.

No, no, it might have sounded like Myra.

But you know why?

Now don't get mad, but you know

I can do Myra's voice pretty good.

Yeah, I snuck up there a little while ago

and I pretended to be her.

I started saying all kinds of crazy stuff.

But what specifically did you say?

About the place

you were in. The place Myra was in.

How did you describe it, specifically?

- You mean specifically?

-Yeah.

I just kind of said it was all kind of...

I just kind of said it was all kind of

gray and sh*t.

No.

Oh, great, now I have to kill everybody

all on my own.

Sorry for hitting you in the face so hard.

That's all right.

it was a pretty good punch for a pacifist.

I love you, man.

I love you, too.

Listen, if you're not gonna be

really doing any shooting,

maybe you should just go with Hans,

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