Severance

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Mr George, help us.

- Help us.

- I'm sorry.

- You f***ing pig!

F***!

Nadia.

# Over bridge of sighs

# To rest my eyes in shades of green

# Under dreaming spires

# To ltchycoo Park

that's where I've been

- # What did you do there?

- # I got high

- # What did you feel there?

- # Well, I cried

- # But why the tears there?

- # Tell you why

# It's all too beautiful

# It's all too beautiful

# It's all too beautiful

# It's all too beautiful

Hi. My name's George Cinders and I'm

the President of Palisade Defence.

We're hitting a home run for freedom

and a time out for terror.

We work hard to bring you

up-to-the-minute technology.

Memo. "Must congrat George

on terrific performance."

Er, no, delete "terrific",

make that "fabulous performance".

For 75 years we've been supplying

the world's greatest nations

with the world's latest weaponry.

So when you see this symbol,

you know you're in safe hands.

We have offices in New York,

London, Tokyo, all over the world.

Oh!

Whoo-hoo!

Jesus!

Go on, girl. Go on. Yep. Yep.

- What are you doing?

- Ordering myself a birthday present.

Alright, team, can we have

a little less talking, please?

Does nobody care

about our marketing strategy?

I care.

Or what about

our CRM- 114 landmine,

the Platoon Buster?

"What Ordinance?" magazine

calls it

"The most exciting development

in concealed termination in years."

Weapons you can trust.

Anti-personnel devices

you can rely on. That's trust.

That's reliability. That's Palisade.

As I speak,

our team of dedicated individuals

are touring Eastern Europe,

bringing the Palisade message to you.

- They couldn't be more excited.

- Richard,

why are all the actors

in this video white?

- They're not all white.

- Blonde, actually.

It's just a coincidence, that's all.

If they were all black,

that would be a coincidence, too?

Look... Look,

what is your problem exactly?

You've made a recruitment video

for the Hitler Youth.

Ha!

- Richard, Richard.

- Oh, there!

There you go, you see?

What's he, an albino?

Here's the P40 version five.

Oh, yeah, OK, that's very sensitive.

- It's not funny, Harris.

Freedom, democracy, justice.

With Palisade Defence,

we'll win the war on terror.

- I bloody hope not.

- Thank you, Harris.

# What will we do there?

# We'll get high

- # What will we touch there?

- # We'll touch the sky

- # But why the tears there?

- # I'll tell you why

# It's all too beautiful

# It's all too beautiful

# It's all too beautiful

Something's wrong with the electrics

in there. There's a short circuit.

- Fire officer, coming through.

- Sit down.

Officer sitting.

- No smoking!

- Yes, I know.

No cigarettes!

Bob Marley! Bob Marley!

Billy, what's the plan?

George should be at the lodge

with the food.

- Good. And the paintball gear?

- All in the brown bag.

- OK, good.

I'll give you $50 if you stop eating.

I bought some mushrooms off

a security guard at the road show.

I gave him 20 euros and look

how much he's given me. Look.

- They look horrible.

- That's cos they're magic mushrooms.

How do you know they're not

off the side of the road?

No, they're proper.

You can tell by the stalks. Look.

- Eat those, you're gonna go crazy.

- I think I've had these ones before.

They give you

a nice chilled-out one.

And if you're wrong?

I'll be somewhere over the rainbow

getting f***ed by the Tin Man.

- Hey, what the f***'s going on?

- You alright?

- You alright, Jill?

- Yeah.

- The road's blocked.

- Anybody need first aid?

I might do in 20 minutes.

We can go this way.

I don't understand

what you're saying. The road is fine.

Yeah, well, the two roads

meet up again. Look.

It's just a detour!

Go on, Richard.

Alright, that's quite enough.

I won't stand for this unprofessional

behaviour. You hear me?

Now, you are hired to drive,

and drive you will, buddy.

Is that clear?

Great management skills, Dick.

Really, really world class.

I know it doesn't appear far on the

map, but it all depends on the scale.

- Well, what is the scale?

- It's not on here.

Well, an inch is usually a mile,

isn't it?

- No.

- Well, we'll assume that it is.

Well, we can assume,

but it's probably safer not to.

Every map I've seen,

an inch is a mile.

Are you saying I can't read maps?

No. I'm sure you have

an excellent knowledge of maps.

It's just that, well,

an inch could be two miles or ten.

I'm saying goodbye.

I'm going back to the hotel.

- You're doing no such thing.

- Then show me the lodge.

The lodge is a mile down that road.

Hang on. You're not listening to me.

I am not walking anywhere.

Don't squabble, gang. It's supposed

to be a team-building weekend.

Tell Richard. He seems to think

we're on a walking holiday.

Whoa. Wait a sec.

Stop the coach! Stop.

Hey, come on, let's talk about this.

Stop the bus. F***ing hell!

Stop the...

Come on!

F*** it!

What was that?

Sorry.

Probably just a bear.

- Just a bear?

- There are no bears in Hungary.

- Are you sure?

- Yes.

Well, that's assuming

we're still in Hungary.

If we've crossed the border

into Romania, then there are bears.

If we're in Serbia,

then I'm not sure.

Well, that's really interesting. Are

bears required to stop at borders?

Is there some sort of

passport control for bears?

- You'd better watch your tone.

- Or what?

- Oh, please!

- No. Or what?

- That sounded further away.

- There.

If it was a bear, which it wasn't,

it's moved on. Come on.

I really think we should stick

to the main road.

No, this way is much quicker.

Come on.

I'm with Richard.

Have I pissed myself?

- What?

- I feel damp.

Well, you look alright.

I'm not gonna touch you.

- Have I pissed my pants?

- I don't think so.

- What's wrong with you?

- I feel all damp.

You're fine. You're fine.

OK, so, er, working on the assumption

that an inch is not a mile,

what's the worst-case scenario?

- An inch is a thousand miles.

That's Steve.

If he's messing around,

he's in big trouble.

Oh, no.

We should stay with the bags.

Steve, are you alright, mate?

Jesus.

Steve?

I saw someone.

Who?

I don't know.

What happened?

The weirdest thing's just happened,

yeah?

I needed a slash,

so I've pulled me trousers down,

cos I felt a little bit damp

and I didn't want to get a rash.

I was about to have a piss

and I saw a geezer with a balaclava

and a suitcase.

No, more of a travel bag.

- So, you've come over...

- Steve.

- Yes?

- The mushrooms.

- What mushrooms?

- You ate them. You're high.

- Look after him.

- OK, yeah.

Listen.

Now, I know we're mates, but, erm,

if you look at my cock one more time,

I'm gonna kick off.

What are you talking about? I have

not once looked at your winkie.

You turn around.

OK, everybody, prepare to smile.

- Isn't it wonderful?

- It's a dump.

- What do you expect, the Hilton?

- The Hilton would be good.

- We're in the country.

- You're not gonna stay here?

- Right now, I'd sleep in a cave.

- That's the spirit.

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