Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll Page #3

"Inspiration is getting to our studies

at 9 a.m."

Go on, hit it.

You know

what I'm talking about,

you barely said two words

to the woman.

-You can't treat people like that.

-Don't give me that load of old bollock.

Bet and I have got

a special relationship.

Exactly, she's your wife.

Yeah, based on love and trust

and understanding.

What, and taking the piss?

You were really f***ing rude, Ian.

It was the past, all right?

It's a separate existence.

Anyway, I asked you to marry me,

you keep saying no.

This isn't a joke.

You've got children.

You are never gonna be separate.

Do you understand that?

Excuse me,

I'm trying to sleep.

# My old man

was fairly handsome

# Later on he drove a Roller

# Chauffeuring for foreign men

Daddy!

# Perhaps he had to keep his distance

# My old man was fairly handsome

You all right, boy?

Come on.

Boxers always touch themselves

on the side of the face to remind them

to keep their guard up.

That's it. Move your feet, come on.

Move your feet, move about.

That's it. Keep moving about.

You're too square on.

Move around the side.

Good, orthodox, lovely.

All them southpaws

should be buried at birth.

Where are you going?

That's it, stand up. All right.

Now move about, on the balls

of your feet if you can.

That's it. Plenty of that.

Plenty of leg movement.

When you're ready,

I want you to take a swing at me.

All right? Give me your best shot.

Come on.

All the best, mate, from your son.

Turtle! Turtle! Turtle! Turtle!

What's all this?

You have to get up on your own.

That's the rule here, isn't it,

children?

Yes, Mr Hargreaves.

I'm not staying here.

My daddy's coming to take me away.

Oh, your daddy, eh? Good for you.

Shape up.

You got to be brave, all right?

No one's taking liberties with you, boy.

Give me your best shot, come on.

All right?

No, you gotta stand on your own.

All right.

All right. Well done, son. You did good.

But no one out there is gonna help you.

Now that's seems harsh, I know,

but you're born on your own,

you die on your own.

And in between,

you earn your own respect.

Never give up, never.

And never step into a dead man's

shoes. You know what that means?

It means you gotta do it for yourself.

Being the underdog with nothing to lose

is the best place to start.

l'm doing pretty good at the moment,

you know. Yeah?

I got one or two proper deals

on the go. Money owed.

I got a nice penthouse in Old Victoria,

I'm happy with me digs.

You should come and see me.

Would you like that?

Would you? Yeah, I'd like that.

# My old man #

Dad? Dad?

-What time is it?

-Lunchtime.

-Is that your mum?

-It's the school on the phone.

It's the headmistress.

Hello? Hello?

Hello?

This is Baxter's headmistress.

ls that Mr Dury?

Yes. Mr Dury speaking. Yes.

Are you aware

that Baxter had school today?

-Mmm-hmm.

-Do you understand?

Yeah. No, no, I do understand, yes.

Yeah, of course.

l'm sure l don't need to tell you

how important it is.. .

Yeah, no, I do understand, yes.

Yes. Okey dokey, yes.

Well, it's all very well

saying you understand,

but this is your son's future

we're talking about.

Mmm-hmm.

-Your wife told me about.. .

-Mmm-hmm. Well.. .

And l want you to know that l'm not. ..

You know what? He was right.

You are a bit of a stuck-up old cow.

-l beg your pardon? How dare you?

-Tiddley poo, madam.

Snotty old maggot, she is.

Put on the kettle, will you?

Ta.

-Where's Denise?

-She's gone out.

You're gonna have to help me

put me leg on, then.

Right, if you could. .. Come here.

Let me swing round, I'll put my arm

round you. After three. One,

two, three.

That's it.

See me new leg? Look at that.

Phwoar.

Been waiting for that for ages.

Beautiful.

You do that one, I'll do this one.

Get this underneath.

I'm still getting used to it

myself, actually.

See what your old man has to go

through every day? What a palaver.

Dear Jemima, l've been working

with a man called Chaz.

If we do weIl, we wilI have

disgusting ice cream.

lf we don't, we will cry.

Boo-hoo! l can't wait for you

to meet Denise.

You should come up

and visit sometime.

Baxter's turning into

a right little geezer.

Always keep a strong heart

in case of sadness.

Love, your charming father,

Dad, Nebbish, Clot.

I'm going

to disagree with Nigel.

The real shock here

is the whole Sex Pistols

swearing on television,

Bill Grundy being sacked,

it all turning into some sort

of moral panic.

l mean, these boys are the future.

They're the voice

of a young generation.

F***ing Sex Pistols. Bollocks.

And he nicked my razorblade-earring

idea and all, didn't he?

Turn it off, Den, will you?

l'm sorry, Nigel, l'm sorry.

If you get bitter,

you have a strong heart. Remember?

Never let it be said

that my failure went to me head.

"Swearing on the television

"is not funny and not f***ing clever!"

Language.

First words my sister ever said

were, "F*** off, Dad."

Must be inherited.

Does she sack drummers, too?

Incredible Hulk doesn't swear,

does he?

-He's got a moral compass.

-That's right.

Moral compass? I'm an entertainer,

not Christopher bleeding Columbus.

Oi, what do you think of that?

Nah, that's too, uh, too romantic.

Here you go.

Is that all?

It's been a slow week.

-Ian?

Uh, too satanic.

Oi, oi, what's wrong with that one?

-You're always giving me that one.

-Yeah, and?

We know all about that, Ian.

Oh, no, no, Chaz, Chaz, Chaz. That,

that is a riddle. It's a love song.

It's a questioning.

It's a striving of the human soul.

It's just.. .

It's called Sex, Drugs & Rock & Roll.

That's good.

-Mmm-mmm, it's too obvious.

Tell him, Denny.

Look, it's a celebration. It's. ..

It's an anthem for all the outsiders,

for all the uglies,

for all the freaks, you know,

who are slaving away every day

in their sh*t shirts

and their sh*t shoes,

trying to fit in.

"Is that all there is to life?"

they ask.

And then, lo and behold.. .

-Can you dance to that, Denny?

-Yeah, if you dance with me.

You nicked that.

God, everyone's a critic these days,

aren't they?

The immature artist plagiarises

and the mature artist steals.

And I am about to grow up.

Sex, drugs and rock and roll.

Okay, how about.. .

See? Blue's your colour,

you know that?

That's it. That's it.

# Grey is such a pity

Yeah! Look at you all! Look, look.

-You're magnificent!

You are gonna be

-just like your dad.

-No, no.

-A proper little geezer.

-No.

-Baxter, come on.

-Don't.

Baxter, stop fidgeting.

-Bax. ..

Stop it.

-Don't be such a baby.

-Get off.

Who did that?

Boys. Bigger boys.

They said I was posh.

Are we posh?

No, we're arts and crafts.

That's what we are.

We're arts and crafts.

There. That's handsome, isn't it?

Baxter!

There he is, here's my son.

These are all my friends.

Say hi to Baxter, everybody.

Big round of applause for my son.

Baxter Front, I like to call him.

Listen, we haven't tried

this one before.

It's a little experimentation.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes