Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll Page #8

it's f***ing horrible!

One, two, three.. .

# l'm Spasticus, Spasticus

Spasticus Autisticus

# l wiggle when l piddle

'Cause my middle is a riddle

# Swim!

# Get up! Get up!

Get up that dive board! Over!

# Whoo!

# So place your hard-earned peanuts

in my tin

# And thank the Creator

you're not in the state l'm in

# So long have l been languished

on the shelf

# l must give all proceedings to myself

# l'm Spasticus, Spasticus

Spasticus Autisticus

# 54 appliances in leather and elastic

# 1 00,000 thank-yous from 27 spastics

# Spasticus

Spasticus Autisticus

# l'm Spasticus, Spasticus

Spasticus Autisticus

# Dribbling, wiggling,

fiddling, nibbling

# Fiddling, diddling,

widdling, diddling Spasticus

-I'm Spasticus!

-I'm Spasticus!

# l'm Spasticus!

-Dad!

-I'm Spasticus!

I'm Spasticus!

# One, two, three, four

Spasticus!

Ian! Ian! Ian!

And the moral of the story is

don't go looking for morals in stories.

lf you want a message,

f*** off down the post office.

Someone once asked me

if l'd missed anything.

Well.. .

lf l'd never had a good-looking girl,

a great job, great haircut,

then l could complain,

but the only thing l've ever missed

is a few buses.

One Iast time, Chazanova.

# Blue Gene baby

Now, there are a couple of ways

to avoid death.

And one of them is to be magnificent.

And this is my favourite way.

# Skinny white sailor

The chances were slender

# The beauties were brief

# Shall l mourn your decline

with some Thunderbird wine

# And a black handkerchief?

# l miss your sad

# Virginia whisper

# l miss the voice

# That called my heart

# Sweet Gene Vincent

# Young and old

# And gone #

# Why don't you get back into bed?

# Reasons to be cheerful, part three

# Some of Buddy Holly,

the working folly

# Good Golly Miss Molly and boats

# Hammersmith Palais,

the Bolshoi Ballet

# Jump back in the alley

add nanny goats

# 1 8-wheeler ScammeIls,

Domineker camels

# All other mammals plus equal votes

# Seeing Piccadilly,

Fanny Smith and Willy

# Being rather silly and porridge oats

# A bit of grin and bear it,

a bit of come and share it

# You're welcome, we can spare it

yellow socks

# Too short to be haughty,

too nutty to be naughty

# Going on 40, no electric shocks

# The juice of the carrot,

the smile of the parrot

# A little drop of claret,

anything that rocks

# Elvis and Scotty

days when l ain't spotty

# Sitting on the potty, curing smallpox

# Reasons to be cheerful, part three

# Reasons to be cheerful

One, two, three

# One, two, three

# Health service glasses

Gigolos and brasses

# Round or skinny bottoms

# Take your mum to Paris

lighting up the chalice

# Wee Willie Harris

# Bantu Stephen Biko, listening to Rico

Harpo, Groucho, Chico

# Cheddar cheese and pickle

the Vincent motorsickle

# Slap and tickle

# Woody Allen, Dal,

Dimitri and Pasquale

# Balabalabala and Volare

# Something nice to study

phoning up a buddy

# Being in my nuddy

# Saying okey-dokey,

singalong-a-Smokie

# Coming out of chokey

# John Coltrane's soprano,

Adi Celentano

# Bonar Colleano

# Reasons to be cheerful, part three

# Reasons to be cheerful

One, two, three

# Yes, yes, dear, dear

# Perhaps next year

or maybe even never

# ln which case

# Reasons to be cheerful, part three

# Reasons to be cheerful

One, two, three

# Reasons to be cheerful, part three

# Reasons to be cheerful

One, two, three

Johnny!

# Reasons to be cheerful

One, two, three

# Oi, oi, oi!

# One, two, three

Oi, oi. Oi. Oi. Oi. Oi. Oi. Oi.

Now, f*** off all of you. You're fired!

And go and be magnificent!

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes