Sex And Breakfast

I'll be right back.

[door closes]

[girl moaning]

(guy)

I don't know

if you get this.

I mean, I do.

It could just

be me, though.

What?

Well, after sex I get

this moment of clarity.

It's like

five minutes

where I see the world

from a peaceful place.

I'm not anxious.

I'm not angry.

Not horny.

I just know

what's important.

That's all

that's important.

Do you ever

get that?

Wow.

Not every time.

I have.

I definitely know

what you're talking

about.

You get it

every time?

Yeah. You don't

feel that now?

Maybe a little.

If you have it

right now, tell me

what's important.

P*ssy.

Lots of it.

James.

You. I love you.

I love you too.

You're the girl

for me, Heather.

I know it.

You do?

Yeah.

Look. I just want

you to know that.

I'll do anything

to make this

work for us.

Me, too.

Yeah?

Yeah.

I guess it's good

we have this on tape.

Go back to bed.

It's cool.

I'm hungry.

I'm gonna

get a snack.

You want some?

No, thanks.

I'm fine.

Why'd you do that?

Ellis.

What?

Why'd you do that?

Do what?

Embarrass me

like that?

Embarrass you?

I'm getting

leftovers.

The invitation would

have been nice, though.

I thought you

were tired, okay?

I didn't wanna

pressure you.

You want this?

What is it?

It's, um, beef

and broccoli.

No.

Eat me, Renee.

Eat me. I'm so

delicious.

I'll be gross

and a waste of

money tomorrow.

Please?

Okay. I'll take it.

What do you mean

"pressure me"?

You seemed tired.

Well, ask me next

time. Just go solo.

It's okay.

I do.

Really?

Yep. I'm not

dead, you know.

Okay.

Me, either.

Good.

When do

you do it?

Constantly.

Seriously.

How often?

A few times a week.

Where?

I don't know.

Wherever.

What about you?

Sometimes.

[The Oranges Band sing

Ride the Nuclear Wave]

Oh, sh*t!

[thump]

Oh, sh*t!

Sh*t.

Argh!

It makes me nervous

when you do that

when I'm driving.

It'll only take

a second.

Yeah, but if I stop

short and that pencil

goes in your eye,

it'd be terrible.

Like blood and eye

juice everywhere.

Gross.

That's what

I'm saying.

Would you still

love me?

Yes.

What if there was

a pencil permanently

sticking out of my eye?

Sure.

When you got

close to me, it sprayed

eyeball juice all over you.

Could you learn to

aim it and use it as a

weapon on our enemies?

'Cause if you

could do that,

I'd be interested.

Yeah. I could

do that.

You think I should

grow a beard?

No.

I'm not that

hairy. Am l?

I don't know.

You're f***ing

with me 'cause of

that thing my mom said.

Maybe she

has a point.

Hey, I'm not waxing

my legs, okay?

I'm happy with the

amount of hair I have,

and I don't need

to do anything

to thin it out.

Mh-mh.

It's all my

f***ing testosterone.

That's right, baby.

(Heather)

See, you don't

trust me.

I trust you.

It's just what

you're saying is bull.

It's not bull.

It's well documented.

Then let me

see the paperwork.

Well, I don't

have it on me.

Look, I'm related

to Pocahontas. She had

a kid with John Smith.

That kid is my great,

great, great, granduncle.

Who told you that?

Grandma Josie.

That's the same Grandma Josie

who stapled bacon to her

dress on Thanksgiving.

Hey, it was turkey

bacon. It was cute.

No! It's only three

points if you're behind

the three-point line, okay?

Everything else is

two points. Except foul

shots. Those are one each.

And you get two foul

shots every time?

No! Every team has

five fouls that they

can use up

before the other team

gets to start shooting.

I don't get it.

You're kidding, right?

I'm nervous, baby.

It's okay.

I am, too.

You are?

Of course I am.

Listen, we're just

going there to scope

it out, okay?

We don't have

to do anything.

It's just us.

We're in it together.

No, not this thing.

You're nervous

about this thing?

Not really.

I was just

comforting you.

You do that a lot.

What?

Lie to comfort me.

Baby, come on.

What are you

nervous about?

I think we're

getting boring.

I don't think

I'm boring.

You're not boring.

I didn't say that.

What, you think

I'm boring?

No!

You just said you

weren't boring,

like I am.

I didn't mean

it that way.

I am not boring.

I am fabulous.

I know you are.

We are boring.

You and me together.

I hate that

we're turning

into masturbators.

Turning? I almost went pro

when I was 13. I had

endorsement deals.

Mm!

They came here?

Not here. Another group,

but it's the same thing.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I guess our work

together has been

a success.

Wow.

Okay, okay.

I don't want to

scare the newbies.

Here we go.

I want to thank you

all for coming.

And if you're new,

hang around after

the lecture tonight

and set up an

appointment with me

if this is something that

you want to be a part of.

Our pleasure

centers are often

misunderstood.

Every day I talk

with men and

women who...

Is this weird

enough for you?

Yeah.

Definitely.

Physically

and emotionally.

I mean, physically, I see

people who are too timid

to try anything new.

People who don't

understand how a penis

or a clitoris

actually work.

Emotionally, I see people

who are too afraid to share

with their husband

or wife, or their

girlfriend or boyfriend

that secret desire that

hey have locked up

inside them.

Our entire

sexual experience

is limited to the people

that we've slept with.

And for many of us,

I mean, that's not

more than five

or ten people

in a lifetime.

In the traditional take

on couples therapy,

the one where you

and your partner sit

down with a shrink,

doesn't go nearly

far enough to solve

the physical side.

I know this because

I'm a shrink,

and I had, uh,

I had sexual

problems before.

Analysis just didn't go

far enough to solve

the whole picture.

I mean,

it uncovered

the source.

But my partner and l

had to educate ourselves

in order to better

service each other.

You need

to be serviced?

Oh, yeah.

Chew me up, baby.

Who in this room

has experienced

group sex therapy

through my clinic?

[applauses]

And who, who has

carried on with

group sex therapy

in the privacy

of your own home?

[applauses]

Did it open

you sexually?

Did it give you

something new

to share?

[all cheer]

Yes!

This is ridiculous.

You still

wanna do it?

Of course,

we will.

I mean, I really liked

what you had to say

at your seminar.

We both want to try

experimenting with

something new.

Uh, we were

actually planning

some other stuff

but this just

seems like a

better fit for us.

Oh. What other stuff?

(Renee)

Well, we've been

looking into various

thrill seeker

programs, you know,

and things like,

um, bungee jumping

and sky diving stuff.

Well, you're not

the only couple that

have this problem.

Most relationships

start with excitement.

And when that

begins to slow down,

that's when

couples suffer.

Disappointment.

Anger.

If you ever f***ing

call me stupid again--

Infidelity.

Hey, baby!

Anxiety.

Oh.

No hitting.

It's really something

that you're both

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes