Sgt. Bilko Page #8

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Congratulations, honey.

- Home run, sir!|- Thank you, Captain.

- We'll rush this baby into production.|- Thank you.

Jack, I thank you|on behalf of a grateful nation.

I just can't wait to see|what you fellas come up with next.

Wait! Wait. The demonstration was rigged.

Ah, do I see politics in your future, sir?|Perhaps a run at the Oval Office?

I've never given that serious consideration.

Wait! General! He faked it!

Didn't you see the gun was aimed|at target three, but blew up target four?

Yes, I did.

If you remember|Einstein's theory, space is curved.

- Yes.|- And these are smart weapons.

Oh, cut the crap! He faked it.|It's just one of his scams.

That's a serious charge.|Colonel, what about this?

General, in all my years in the service...

...I have never, not once,|publicly berated a fellow officer.

But I realise now that from the moment|Major Thorn set foot on Fort Baxter...

...he engaged in a personal vendetta|against Master Sergeant Bilko.

I find his conduct inexcusable, and will|recommend an article 32 investigation.

- I see.|- You don't understand.

He doesn't know what's going on. This|sergeant leads him around by the nose!

Major! You are the most|insubordinate officer I have ever met.

I'm telling you, he's a boob! He doesn't|get it! They faked the whole thing!

I'd like to see just one piece of evidence|to support these idiotic allegations.

Idiotic, huh? How's this for evidence? The|fire-control and super-elevator board.

I took it out last night,|so how can it work?

So you deliberately|sabotaged this project, Major?

I got it all on tape.

Lucky.

- Whoo!|- Yeah, celebration time.

Chin-chin.

Because I know Pap knew it,|and I... Stand, troops!

- You're in the presence of a genius.|- Hoo-ah!

You're a total kingpin. You got Thorn|to sabotage something that didn't work!

Yeah, well, I couldn't have done it without|our Wally. Where is he, where is the lad?

Here, Sarge.

I was just resetting|the colonel's odometer.

- I told you Wally was all right.|- OK. Glee club.

Oh, well.

Only you, only you, only you

Can make this change in me

Only you

You are my destiny

Destiny

When you hold my hand,|I understand the

Magic that you do,|magic that you do

Ooh, you're my dream come true

My one and only

You

Hum

Hum

It's only you

Very nice.

Aw, get up, Bilko.

Marry me, Rita. I know I'm a long shot,|but sometimes long shots pay off big.

Don't even ask. I forgot it was|daylight-savings time. Can you believe it?

Well, better late than never.

- Poker?|- All right.

Nickel ante.

Let's make it interesting.|One hand of showdown.

If I win, we get married.

Ernie, I don't think|that's such a good idea.

I've never known you to chicken out|of a game, whatever the stakes.

You're on.

Well, well, well, what do you know?

- Full house. Jacks over threes.|- You cheated!

- No, and we're getting married!|- When?

Now!

Daddy!

- Ow!|- Dearly beloved, we are gathered here...

...to witness the joining of these|two good people in holy matrimony.

Rita Robbins, do you take Ernest Bilko|to love, honour and cherish...

...for richer or poorer...|- Think we're moving too fast?

- I do.|- Let's go!

- Do you, Ernest Bilko, take Rita...|- Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do.

By the power vested in me, I pronounce|you husband and wife. You may ki...

Ah.

Doo, doo-doo,|doo, doo, doo, doo

Livin' in the USA

Doo, doo-doo,|doo, doo, doo, doo

Livin' in the USA

Where are you goin' to?

What are you gonna do?

Do you think that it will be easy?

Do you think that it will be pleasin'?|Hey, hey, what'd you say?

I won't pay, I'd rather play

It's my freedom|Ah, don't worry about me, babe

I got to be free, babe

Hey, hey, hey, yeah

Doo, doo-doo,|doo, doo, doo, doo

Livin' in the USA

Doo, doo-doo,|doo, doo doo, doo

Livin' in the USA

Hey, we're gonna make it, baby

Yeah, we got to shake it, baby

Hey, gonna break it, girl,|yeah, yeah, yeah, girl

Come on, baby, hey

Oh, hey

Oh, hey

In the USA, baby

Doo, doo-doo,|doo, doo, doo, doo

Livin' in the USA

Don't worry about me, babe

Doo, doo-doo,|doo, doo, doo, doo

Livin' in the USA|Livin' in the USA

Doo, doo-doo,|doo, doo, doo, doo

Livin' in the USA

I got to be free

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