Shaandaar

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This story begins

as all stories begin.

It was a dark and stormy night.

Lightning streaked the sky.

The clouds rumbled ominously.

And a man named Bipin...

...was coming home

with a little orphan.

Bipin lived with his

termagant of a mother.

And his wife who was

even more of a terror.

In her world,

every relationship was a deal.

Her world was a marketplace.

And in her marketplace, a child with

no antecedents counted for nothing.

Bipin's mother and wife rejected

the child at first glance.

But thanks to her survival instinct...

...the little one would not be budged.

- Alert! Alert!

- Danger!

Bipin never told anyone where the girl

came from or why he brought her home.

Never. And the termagants

asked quite often.

One day, Bipin found out...

...that his motherless

tyke was a baby owl.

Her friends were bats.

He tried everything he could...

...but he could not get her to sleep,

perchance to dream.

She stayed awake all night.

But all day, she was awake too.

But Bipin was not one to give up.

One day, he gave his princess a box.

It was a dream box.

Dreams?

Every day, he drew her a new dream,

just for her.

All this in the forlorn hope that

his princess would one day sleep...

...and learn the joy of dreaming.

But every princess needs a prince

to coax her to the Land of Nod.

"Riding a whim, I'm on my way..."

"We were meant to meet,

some day, some way..."

"Riding a whim, I'm on my way..."

"We were meant to meet,

some day, some way..."

"Riding a whim, I'm on my way..."

Who is this numbskull'?

Sorry, Daddy-O, I'm...

What d'you mean 'sorry'?

Can't you look where you're going?

Blind turn back there, right'?

Didn't see it.

You aren't blind, are you'?

I said, sorry, innit'?

Hey, blind bat,

what are you looking at'?

Look at me and talk.

You didn't see my car when you had to.

Now look at me and talk.

Yo, I said sorry three times.

What more do you want'?

C'mon give one back.

What'?

Return a sorry.

What'?

Until you return

one of my 'sorries', I won't move.

Who returns apologies?

You do. Give one back or I stay put.

- I've dealt with his kind before.

- Stay in the car.

Let me deal with this.

Get this bike out of the way.

Won't. Whatcher gonna do about it'?

- Hey

- Hey-e'!

- Hey-ey-e'!

- Hey-eV-QWQV

You wanna make something of this'?

Do you know who I am'?

Who are you'?

Why would I tell you'?

Do you know who I am'?

Why would I want to know?

Bipin!

Bipin ? Who's the hot broad'?

Down, boy.

Geetu, wait in the car.

Let me handle this.

Where are you going, Eesha'?

- To help?

- But Eesha...

Can I help?

Eesha, it's okay.

I'll manage. Wait in the car.

Hey, Eesha!

Hi.

Hey!

Wow! !

Triumph Thunderbird Storm,

270 degree firing interval.

Really? I thought it was 250 degrees.

270, Beeps. Parallel Twin.

You know so much about so much.

Interested in bikes, are ya'?

In everything.

Alia.

Ooh la la. Alia.

Jagjinder Joginder.

- Who is this'?

- it's me, sir.

So you had to tell me in the end.

Whatever, dude.

Look, lemme move my belly-shover.

That's right, move it along.

You lot, get in the car.

You, get that out of the way.

One sorry on your account, Daddy-O.

Move!

Love you too!

It's a fairy-castle!

It's beautiful!

Are you happy, kiddo?

Yes Dad, it's perfect!

Why wouldn't it be'?

Mummyji has paid for it.

And now if you're done with

your little lovefest, can we go in'?

Mummyji will be waiting.

My picture small?

That small?

That small?

OMG!

This is like K3G!

Totally!

Hi, Ria, Pia.

- Hi, FTB.

- Hi, FTB.

Oh sorry...FTB?

- Father of the bride!

- Father of the bride!

Father of the bride is in trouble.

Why is my photograph so

small on this magazine cover'?

Give me answers!

Tell her, no'?

I want answers!

- Bipin will know, Mummyji.

- Where is he'? Get him here. Now.

I've emptied my pockets

for this wedding and this ingrate...

- They're right when they say...

If you meet a snake and an

Arora on the road, kill the Arora.

Mummyji, you're also an Arora.

Straighten that pink paw.

You should have been

squished out at birth.

Snakelet!

Yes, Mummy.

Snake in my bosom!

Yes, Mummy.

Cobra.

Yes, Mummy.

What do they call that snake,

which coils about you and kills you'?

A boa constrictor, Mummyji

Boa!

Bipin! Thank God!

Bipin, where are Eesha and Alia'?

Waiting for you.

Bipin, you should know...

- What?

- Take it off.

Take what off'?

Your shades.

Bye, Mummyji

Good morning!

Where were you'?

I've been waiting for you forever.

Look at this magazine. Why

is Fundwani's photo bigger than mine'?

Fundwani paid for the photo.

We paid for the article.

But now we'll all be one big happy

family so what's the difference, Nlummyji'?

It makes a difference! I don't care

if he's paid for the entire magazine.

Who's paying for this wedding?

You are, Mummyji. Who else can'?

Explain that to him.

Why do you think I've

brought that fatso up'?

When you sacrifice the goat,

you eat the meat.

- Come on... come on...

Come on, BTB! BTB!

BTB!

Deep breaths, deep breaths...

What is BTB'?

- Come on!

- Bride-to-be!

- Breathe in... breathe in.

I can't. You've cut

it way too small, Uncle.

Shut your face. I opened it out

four inches in Delhi and then it fit.

But now you've come

here and swelled up again.

This is a brilliant

sketch of your Robin.

Very nice.

Thanks.

They' re for Eesha.

- You can do it.

Try the upper hooks.

- Hi baby.

- Hi Mama.

Say no.

Do you know?

The average chocolate has

the legs of eight insects in it.

Eight!

As they make the chocolate,

the bug feet fall in.

This is no average chocolate, Alia.

It's a fact.

Have another one, after this, okay'?

How much are you going to stuff her'?

This won't fit her.

So what'? Make a new one.

This is one of my best, okay'?

Okay guys,

it's time for the breakfast rehearsal!

Breakfast rehearsal?

Mummyji is waiting.

Babla, who are you shooting?

Auntie Geetu.

No...

Boom...boom...boom

Boom...boom...boom

Eggs Benedict with Hollandaise,

caviar on omelette

Eggs Benedict with Hollandaise,

caviar on omelette

Beans on brisket,

eggs fried sunny side-up

Sausages on the side,

hash browns and sun-dried tomatoes.

And my parathas ?

And my parathas ?

And my parathas ?

Mummyji! Parathas, here ?

Do you want me to starve to death'?

Who's going to make parathas here'?

Will an aaloo paratha work for you,

Kamlaji'?

And don't forget your

blood pressure medication.

Your pressure's been a bit high,

hasn't it'?

"What a hottie-hottie!"

"What a hottie-hottie!"

"Yeah!"

You!

How are you, sir'?

This is Jagjinder Joginder

from Biji's.

Your friendly wedding organizer.

Up to now, you've been talking

to my CEO, Khushwant Kaur.

YOU!

You must be Eesha'?

The happy bride?

We've got Eggs Benedict for you.

- Thank you.

- Your favourite, right'?

- You!

- And you are'?

Ooh la la'?

Alia!

Ooh la la Alia. Of course.

Nice to meet you, Alia.

You?

What is this you-you-you'?

You whistling or something?

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