Shall We Dance Page #3

Petrov, is secretly married.

-l'll wager it's to that American dancer.

-Righto.

-Will that be all, Miss Linda?

-Yes, thank you, Tai.

And he's been secretly married

to Linda Keene for some time.

They're a lovely-looking couple,

don't you think?

My dear, l knew it.

-How do you do?

-Good evening.

That's what l like about boats,

everyone's so friendly.

A toast.

Wake up, Petrov.

We're going to have a baby?

-What?

-Why did you keep this a secret from me?

-What are you talking about?

-lt's all here in the ship's bulletin.

lt says you've been married for years

to Linda Keene.

And the editor announces:

''lt is rumored that a blessed event

is imminent.''

Why did this have to happen to me?

To you? lt hasn't even happened to me.

Lady Tarrington.

Do you realize

that you're the father of my child?

Of course, that's ridiculous,

that's impossible.

lt's very simple.

You told Denise l was married...

somebody selected a wife,

and now l'm going to be a father.

-lsn't that cute?

-Cute? lt's a miracle.

l warned you association with that

Keene woman would get you into trouble.

l warned you l was gonna fall in love

with her. l have.

-lt's your fault, go and explain it to her.

-l'll do nothing of the kind.

lf you want me to dance

at the Metropolitan...

you go to Linda and clear this thing up.

ln that case perhaps l had better.

l'll take care of this.

Operator, get me Mr. Petrov.

What? Don't you dare congratulate me.

Come in.

l've come to tell you, Miss Keene,

that we will not tolerate your insinuations.

Stay where you are...

while l compose myself.

l suppose you and that toe dancer think

this whole thing's a good joke.

lt was not altogether the toe dancer,

Mr. Petrov's fault.

lt wasn't?

A man in Petrov's position is besieged

by women.

Naturally.

And there was one

persistent wretch who....

Well, to get rid of her,

he said he was married to you.

-To get rid of her?

-Exactly.

He had to choose somebody, and he felt

that a person like you wouldn't mind.

-So he used me to....

-Exactly.

You see, it wasn't altogether a joke.

Good morning, little mother.

Good morning.

l want to book passage on that mail plane.

l'm sorry, but that's against

government regulations.

But l must leave the ship.

lt's absolutely urgent that l leave.

Well, l understand,

but it's just a little irregular.

l'm quite sure the government

would understand.

Well, perhaps under the existing

circumstances, madam--

Not madam, miss!

Where's Linda?

Pardon me.

Take a good look.

Gosh, and l could have

explained everything.

You couldn't have explained her

embarrassment and humiliation.

Thanks.

Now she's going to get married.

-Married?

-Yes.

Married to a Park Avenue cluck...

with the longest yacht

and the shortest chin ever christened.

-You've driven her to that.

-Me? l didn't do anything.

Only told somebody

you were married to her...

just to get rid of another dame,

only used her, that's all.

-Who said l did?

-Your impresario, Mr. Baird.

Oh, he did?

Excuse me, gentlemen...

in a few moments the fire bell will ring,

but don't pay any attention to it.

-A fire drill for the ship's crew.

-Right.

He's probably in here.

Did you tell Miss Keene that l used her

to get rid of a woman?

My very words, dear boy.

One of these days

you'll thank me for doing it.

Thank you?

lf l didn't need you to explain to her--

What is the matter with you?

Haven't you any feeling of responsibility

for your art, your company?

Do you realize because of your lies...

the best musical comedy star

is quitting show business?

ls that so? That's no loss.

lt'd be if Petrov were mixed up

with that cheap vaudeville.

However, l've scotched all that,

and l'm proud of it.

You scotched it all right.

This boat is getting terrible.

What is that noise?

-lt's a fire, the boat's on fire.

-ls it?

This boat?

Of course, yes! What are we going to do?

-Nothing.

-Nothing?

-Stay where you are.

-Stay where you are.

-Don't move.

-Don't move, but hurry. My word, yes!

-You'd better get into this.

-l'm going to sue the company.

-lf we get out alive.

-l'll sue them anyway.

Take the Thermos,

you may get stranded on an island.

We'll need this for cold nights.

l feel the flames, they're getting nearer.

Now let's keep our heads.

What else do we need?

-Hats.

-Of course, hats.

-We don't want head colds.

-No.

Gentlemen always dress,

even on a tropical island.

-And this basket of fruit to eat.

-Of course.

l'll pick up a few blankets. No, wait.

The clock, so l'll know when it's bedtime.

Petrov, l know they've lowered our boat.

Take this. We may be stranded for a while.

Time will hang heavy on our hands.

-We will vary it with a little golf.

-A little golf, yes.

-Go ahead, Boat Station 4.

-Station 4. We got everything?

-Everything.

-Come on, don't forget the blanket.

-l'll get the blankets.

-And don't get excited, just follow me.

Come on, follow me.

Come on, Petrov, hurry up.

l'm all right. Don't get excited, anybody.

Everybody keep calm.

My boat's Number 4.

My boat's Number 4, where? Four?

All right, l'm here. Let it down.

What are you waiting for?

Miss Keene? She's back already?

Goody. Miss Keene's back.

Give me her key, will you, please?

Thank you, very much.

-Welcome home, l'm so happy to see you.

-Thank you, Cecil.

You're in sooner than we expected.

Are you alone?

Certainly, and who else

would be with me?

You are the one, miss,

keeping it a secret so long.

-There is no secret.

-No, not now but--

There never was.

Very well, miss.

l know professional people.

You'll find me the very soul of discretion.

Yes, indeed.

Just one moment, please.

l've got a surprise for you.

Voila!

-Jim, l'm so glad to see you.

-l received your cable, Linda.

You're looking very well, considering.

-You look grand, too, Jim.

-Thanks, l'm lucky that way.

Nothing shows in my face.

But why didn't you tell me, Linda?

Tell you? There's nothing to tell.

-Then somebody's wrong.

-Oh, that.

Lot of false malicious gossip.

Petrov? On his way up? Splendid.

-Cecil Flintridge.

-No, Jeffrey Baird.

l beg your pardon, Cecil Flintridge.

l beg your pardon, Jeffrey Baird.

No, Cecil Flintridge.

l don't like to disillusion you, old man,

but l am Jeffrey Baird, Petrov's manager.

And l am Cecil Flintridge.

You mean you are Cecil Flintridge?

-Yes, that's what l mean.

-Well, what of it?

What?

-Cecil of the hotel?

-Yes, of the hotel.

Of course. Well, how are you?

How are you? How do you do, indeed?

l've been at great pains

to make you and Mr. Petrov comfortable.

-Have you really? That's very kind.

-l thought it was kind of me.

Your suite is right next to

Mrs., or shall l say, Miss Keene?

Miss Keene? What!

You blundering blunderer!

Petrov.

-Do you know where we are?

-Wait a minute, don't tell me.

New York.

Yes. No, we're right next to Linda Keene.

-Good.

-That's what l thought.

Nobody's interested in what you think,

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