Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! Page #2

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the sharks.

Nobody attacks my house.

This time, it's personal.

[ screams ]

Hail to the Chief.

This is for America, baby!

Aah!

Go, Mr. President! We have to

get out of here!

Let's get the hell out of here.

Let's do this! Right behind you,

buddy!

MARTIN:
Come on, hurry!

Martin, you all right? We're

fine!

Mr. President, you all right?

Can it do that?

Looks like the rules have

changed.

[ yelling ]

Come on! Get it! Get it!

Come on! [ grunts ]

God bless America.

Shark!

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go

Run away from the sharknado

It's your greatest foe, foe,

foe

Don't wanna get eaten by a

sharknado

Sharknado

Sharknado

Sharknado

Sharknado

Sharknado

Sharknado

Shark!

It's fine. He called last night,

didn't he?

Yeah, I know, but I just wanted

him to be here to enjoy your

birthday.

It's okay. I'm used to it.

Don't say it. I said nothing.

Except, "Happy birthday."

Thank you, Grandma May.

Love the new hair, by the way.

Oh, thank you. I love it, too.

Okay, birthday girl. Have some

fun.

Get in a little trouble.

All right, I will.

Are you sure your friend's

inside?

Yeah, Jess is there.

Well, I want to see you home by

9:
00.

I'm 18.

10:
00. Mom!

11:
00.

Okay, bye. Love you.

Bye, little growing thing. Have

fun.

Okay, let's take the bus back to

the Cabana Bay Resort.

I want a cocktail.

It's here. Let's walk.

Hi. Welcome to Universal Orlando

Resort.

Thank you. You bet.

[ cellphone rings ]

Hey, baby. Sorry I didn't call

sooner.

I was getting worried.

Well, they grounded all the

flights out of D.C.

I rented a car. Martin's on his

way to New York.

He's fine. What about you? It's

all good

The doctor just said that the

baby is doing great.

As long as it's healthy and I'm

there when it's born,

that's all I care about.

Okay. So you're coming home?

Yeah. I'm gonna drive straight

through. I'll see you tomorrow.

Oh, I have a few things to say

if he wants to talk to me.

[ chuckles ] All right, I love

you. Bye.

Okay. Bye-bye, babe.

I'm Matt Lauer, along with

Savannah Guthrie.

"The Today Show," reporting live

now from Washington, D.C.,

following the violent storm

that devastated this capital

area yesterday.

The Washington Monument, the

White House

not far from where we are right

now,

both destroyed by the worst

sharknado this country has seen

since the first formation two

years ago.

We can now go live to Hoda and

Kathie Lee.

They are broadcasting from

Universal Orlando.

Now there's no indication that

there's any storm

on the horizon here, is there?

No, beautiful blue skies.

People are hanging out in their

thongs. It's great.

By the way, we're just having

a...

Good time. good ol' time.

Hi! You must be Claudia Shepard.

Yep, and my friend Jess is up

there.

Oh, great. I've got a couple of

V.I.P. treatment,

front-of-the-line express passes

for you.

Awesome. Great.

You want me to walk you up?

Yeah.

Oh, I heard your dad saved the

President.

Oh, yeah,

that's my dad, ruler of the

universe,

savior of mankind with his

almighty chainsaw.

Oh, be good to him. You know,

he's the only dad you have.

Well, I'm Babs, and I'm here

to help you out with anything

you need.

Well, I hope you have a

wonderful day.

Thanks. And remember,

these passes allow you full

access to the park,

front of the line.

Awesome. Yay! Great. Okay, good.

Jess!

Hey! Hi.

You look so good!

Your hair is amazing!

Super rebellious. [ cellphone

rings ]

Yeah, you know. Hey, Dad.

Mom's worried about you. Hope

you called her first.

Of course I did.

Are you here?

If I turn around, are you gonna

surprise me?

No. I'm just outside of D.C.

I'll surprise you tomorrow,

though.

Well, it's not a surprise if you

tell me.

Okay, see you soon, Dad.

Excuse me

Just put your phone and your

purses

over in the cupboard over there.

Oh, ok

And then step over here... Thank

you.

for the front-row experience.

BABS:
Have fun.

On second thought, I'm actually

gonna sit this one out.

Go ahead. What?

Front-row seat!

We need a single rider over

here!

Perfect. Look at this.

All right! It's time for the

Bruce to let the rocket loose!

Here we go!

See you later! Later, gators!

Have a good time!

Whoa! [ laughing ]

Whoa!

Whoa.

All right, here we go. [ screams

]

We're gonna go right now

to NBC news correspondent Tom

Levinson,

who is about to interview

Congresswoman Michele Bachmann.

Well, as I understand it,

the President of the United

States

called for an immediate

evacuation

of all of the cities that are

on the eastern seaboard of the

United States,

but it's still very premature.

And do you know anything about

the nature of these shark

storms?

Are they growing in size?

It appears that they are,

but no one knows for sure. It's

still premature.

I'm sorry, Tom. I've got to go.

I've gotta get to a vote.

[ laughs ]

Billy.

Claudia.

There you go.

Fun, right? Yeah.

BABS:
So you enjoy it?

Fun, right?

You enjoy the ride? Yeah.

I have your things. Thank you.

Now remember, if you need

anything else

here at Universal Orlando, just

ask for Babs.

All right. Okay?

Thank you. All right.

Have fun, guys.

She forgot her phone!

Hey! Your phone!

They always come back.

FRANK:
This is the "Heidi and

Frank Show,"

and we are covering the

destruction and mayhem

that is Washington, D.C., right

now.

The Sharknado has pretty much

destroyed everything in sight.

HEIDI:
Traffic continues to be

at a standstill on I-95.

You might want to try Route 17.

I don't blame the sharks on this

destruction.

I blame one Fin Shepard. It

seems like

everywhere he goes, destruction

follows.

Do not think it's a weather

anomaly.

I think he has a plan,

and wherever he goes, he

destroys.

Nobody else survives, yet Fin

Shepard

and his family seem to always

survive just fine.

We'll be back in just a moment

right here on the "Heidi and

Frank Show."

What the... [ crowd screaming ]

FIN:
Great, fognado.

[ chainsaw buzzing ]

Yeah! [ laughs ]

[ chainsaw buzzing ]

Nova?

Hey, Fin.

We are proud to announce today

that we have here on loan from

NASCAR:

Brad Keselowski's stock car

along with the Xfinity stock

car.

These are the exact replicas of

Brad's car,

and he will be here today onsite

to sign autographs for all of

you

after the Daytona 500.

You didn't look very Semper

Paratus in that ditch.

I rented a car. I had to

improvise.

How'd you know where I was?

I've been tracking all this

activity since L.A.

Teamed up with Lucas, and we

decided to learn all that we

could,

plan ahead,

saving as many lives as

possible.

Of course, slaying sharks along

the way.

And, um, my tracking app showed

that you were close.

Tracking app?

You know where I'm at at all

times?

Friends are supposed to look out

for each other, right?

Yeah. You know, as a matter of

fact, that works both ways.

Nova, where have you been? It's

been over a year

since I've heard from you. I was

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