Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! Page #3

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worried.

If you really wanted to find me,

you could have.

There's a lot of work to get

done.

A lot of it. She's quite

obsessive,

a little bit insane, bordering

on savant,

and, uh, rocks leather like no

one I've ever met.

Yeah. If the world goes to hell,

it's her you want by your side.

The feeling's mutual.

April's due any day. I was on my

way to Orlando

to meet up with her and Claud.

You're having a baby?

Another child with April.

Fin Shepard.

I guessed. Lucas Stevens.

Yeah, sorry. This is Lucas.

He helps maintain the Beast.

You travel with your own

mechanic now?

Well, mechanic- slash-bodyguard.

Anyway, I gotta check the data.

I think you're gonna love

what we've done with the place.

Come on.

You gotta be kidding me.

I don't know whether to be

impressed or concerned.

MAN:
I have intel on that big

storm you were asking about...

The data on Washington is still

coming in.

Lucas:
Great, send it over

Who are you talking to? MAN:

Intel on its way.

Nova and I made a pact

we wouldn't tell anybody where

we get--

I have some connections over at

the N.W.S.

What we've done, what we do,

what we can do, it's

polarizing.

You know, we're still getting

crap for bombs in the tornado,

but the collateral damage that

the tornadoes made themselves

was worse than anything the

bombs could have done.

But at the end of the day,

the crazy chick with

posttraumatic shark disorder,

my abnormally genius best

friend,

and the man with the chainsaw,

no one else can get the job done

like we can.

Boy, have you changed.

We analyzed every aspect of the

storms in L.A. and New York.

That Freon thing you did in New

York was way cool, by the way.

What'd I say?

I lost my friend Skye in that

storm.

She sacrificed herself for April

and me.

I'm so sorry.

Fin, hey, I've been wanting to

show you this.

Look, I think this is where you

found me.

I mean, I got swallowed whole.

There's no way I could have

passed through the intestines.

You need to let this go. It's

over.

This isn't over at all.

It won't be over until we figure

out

why this is happening and why it

keeps coming back.

Or what? Or we can just kill 'em

all!

Just kill them all, shoot, bang!

Look.

Nova, relax!

You know, you can find some

pretty amazing things in a

shark's gut,

license plates, sneakers,

mini trampolines, anything they

swallow in the ocean.

But you know what the most

common thing regular sharks eat

is?

Fish.

Yes, fish. But sharknado sharks,

they eat something that regular

sharks don't, birds.

And look. This one...

and this one...

we found ice.

They're staying up in the clouds

for long periods of time.

They're surviving up there, Fin.

The storm in Washington

got sucked up right into the

sky.

I've never seen anything like

that before.

It's the only reason I'm alive.

Yeah, well, I mean, tornadoes in

general,

they touch down, dissipate, and

reform all at low-pressure

zones.

The entire east coast is a

low-pressure zone.

[ kids laughing ]

Hey, no running. No running.

Woo!

How do you see the role of

social media assisting...

There are redditors on the

OurSharknado subreddit

sharing photos and updates, and

so that's how we know it's on

its way.

Internet's gonna go down.

You can sit in your basement

hiding from the apocalypse

upstairs all you want.

But understand... Okay, let's

talk names.

Well, if it's a girl,

I like the name Brittany.

Eww. I knew a Brittany once. She

was horrible.

[ laughs ]

How 'bout June?

No. April, May, June?

That's ridiculous.

Fin, we could really use your

help.

I have a thousand questions,

especially about New York.

No, no. I'm going to Orlando.

April's expecting me.

We're starting a new chapter in

our lives

after all she's been through.

And you.

And me.

We could just drive you.

To Orlando?

Nova, the plan!

I thought we have work to do. I

mean,

we've been tracking this

formulation for eight months.

You said so yourself, focus, no

detours.

This isn't a detour, Lucas.

The eye of the storm is heading

south.

We've been tracking it. You know

this. Come on.

Well, there's less safe ways I

can get down there, yeah.

Let's do it. Nova.

This is supposed to be our

thing.

Hey, check this out.

Excuse me. Excuse me. I'm sorry

to let you know

that we're gonna have to turn

you two in.

You're what?

Oh, okay. You will have to get

through me first.

Should I be afraid?

Have you ever met someone who

survived a sharknado?

No, but my boy survived an

alligator apocalypse.

How 'bout that? Alligator.

Oh, my God.

He's kinda cute.

Whose idea was the Beast?

Mine. These storms are getting

more frequent,

and they're growing in size.

Someone's gotta prepare for

what's really coming.

And we can't always assume that

you're gonna be the one

that saves the day the next time

the big one hits.

Oh, yeah? So this is the answer?

[ sighs ] Saved you, didn't it?

Is it strong enough to survive a

storm

as big as New York or Los

Angeles?

She sure is.

We have a failsafe.

These new storms are completely

unpredictable.

But I saw a formation about 50

miles ahead.

Come on.

Time to play.

Living on the edge, eh, Nova?

What if it's a boy?

Well, Fin likes the name

Charles.

Charles Shepard? I read

somewhere

that 25% of all serial killers

are named Charles.

You did not read that. You just

don't like the name.

[ overlapping chatter, screaming]

[ screaming continues] [ diners

chattering ]

April, no!

Get out of the pool! Get out of

the pool now!

Shark!

There's a shark in the pool!

[ whirring ]

Please! You have to save my

daughter!

[ girl screams ]

No, you're not going anywhere!

APRIL:
I could have saved him.

ou are just joining us

let us bring you up to speed.

We're in Washington, D.C.,

and we thought that this storm

had passed.

It now appears, though, there is

a lot more trouble brewing.

I think we're gonna start

calling it the Feast Coast,

and that's because, for the

first time,

it looks like there's not one

incident,

but multiple pockets of

sharknadoes developing

and that cities up and down the

eastern seaboard

are being put on red alert

today.

Hey, sweetie. APRIL: Fin, are

you okay?

I got into some trouble on the

road.

Are you gonna be here soon?

Yes. You're never gonna guess

who's giving me a ride.

Let me guess. Nova.

Yeah, I'm with Nova. How do you

know that?

Who else would give you a ride

in the middle of a sharknado?

Wifey sense. Hi, April!

Still not a stripper!

Yeah, okay, I should be there by

morning.

But I just heard this trough is

moving into Florida,

and I know you could take care

of yourself,

but you're playing ninja for two

now, okay,

so promise me you'll stay safe.

Fin, we got some trouble here.

A shark fell from the sky.

It came out of nowhere.

You need to find Claudia and get

somewhere safe.

Let's just go.

Mrs. Officer. You know, earlier

we did some stuff that I'm not

proud of,

so let me make it up to you.

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