Shattered Glass Page #5

Okay, let's not overdo it.

This is still a great magazine,

it's still an important magazine.

And... Monday morning

he's going to be running it.

- I'm going to barf.

All right.

Let me get out of here, okay?

Well, I just want

to thank you all again. Truly.

I've loved every second of this.

Good luck, Mike.

You too, Chuck.

Hi.

Hi.

- Hi.

- Hi.

So...

sorry about

what happened when he left.

I just didn't know what to do.

Thanks.

If you need a hand with the boxes,

I'll be in my office.

So Chuck took over,

and the job,

for the first time ever,

began to feel like a job.

But I'm being unfair.

The truth is, I wrote pieces while

Chuck was editing the magazine.

And the last of them,

was the biggest story

I ever wrote.

Is anyone interested

in hackers?

Because I met this kid

named Ian Restil.

Biggest computer geek

of all time.

He hacked his way into the database

of a company called Jukt Micronics,

and posted naked pictures

of women

and the salary of every Jukt employee

on Jukt's website with a note

saying, "The Big Bad Bionic Boy

has been here, baby!"

Outstanding.

The guys at Jukt decided

that it would be cheaper to hire him

as security consultant

than it would be to try to stop him,

so they met with him

last week at the hotel

where the National Hackers'

Conference was taking place.

It was the chairman

from Jukt,

Restil, Restil's mother

and Restil's agent.

No...!

Yes, hackers

have agents too.

All right, I was at the table

with these guys.

Restil's just laying out

all of his demands.

- I want a Miata...

- "I want a trip to Disney World."

I want "X-Men"

comic book No. .

"...a lifetime subscription to Playboy."

- And throw in Penthouse.

And they're complying

with every single word.

Excuse me sir,

pardon me for interrupting.

We can arrange more money

and you can buy the comic yourself.

And when you're

of a more appropriate age,

you can buy the car

and pornographic magazines

on your own.

Cool.

After that,

after they have the meeting,

he goes back into the conference,

where all these hackers have gathered,

and they're treating him

like he's a rock star.

Then, Restil jumps up on a table,

and he's like...

I want a Miata!

And he's gyrating his hips like this.

"I want a Miata!

I want my Playboys!

I want a trip to Disney World!"

Show me the money!

"Show me the money!"

Turns out there are now states

considering versions of a law

called the "Uniform

Computer Security Act,"

which would criminalize

immunity deals

between hackers

and the companies they've torched.

Meanwhile, Restil's agent claims

a client list of over

one of whom was once paid

a million dollars...

and a monster truck.

That's unbelievable.

It's really silly, I know.

I'm not even sure

if I'm going to finish it.

Sh*t.

You rang?

Yes, I rang.

Why didn't you get this?

Yeah. Oh, that...

I don't know.

Hey.

Hey.

Is it pronounced

"jooked" or "jucked"?

It's pronounced,

"give me back my article."

Adam...! Can you give

a man a minute?

Oh, yeah.

I'm sorry.

Er, it's just that...

this New Republic piece

is a f***ing sieve.

I started with a check

on "Jukt Micronics,"

which is supposed to be this major

software company in California.

I went through every search engine

on the Web... no matches found.

So I called

every area code in the state.

There's no listing anywhere

for a company called "Jukt Micronics."

Tried the California

Tax Franchise Board,

there's no record of taxes

ever having been paid

by a company

called Jukt Micronics.

Tried the State

Comptroller's Office,

no license has ever been applied for

by a company using that name.

Then I called

all the hackers I know,

asking if any had heard

of a "National Assembly of Hackers,"

or a hacker by the name

of "Big Bad Bionic Boy."

Nothing.

I even tried Ian Restil himself.

There's no listing for the kid in D.C.,

Virginia, Maryland.

There's no record of him ever having

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