Shock Treatment Page #6

steal your heart

Oh, look what I did

to my id

Oh, look what I did

to my id

With neurosis in profusion

And psychosis in your soul

Eliminate confusion

And hide inside

a brand-new role

Like a good-time girl

I'm gonna try some new tricks

This could be the start

of a whole new career

Got a deep plum lipstick

and some therapeutics

This could take us to a town

that's nowhere near here

Got the hot fush symptoms

and I'm feelin' sneaky

Young male intern

tall and handsome

Got my hem so high

they'll say I'm being cheeky

With legs like mine

I'm really made for dancin'

When heaven's in the music

Hell is in control

The angels got the voices

But the devil's got

the rock and roll

We may look like

we're phony medics

But we took our look

from a book by Fredericks

Oh, look what I did

to my id, kid

Look what I did to my id

Oh, Brad.

- He's an emotional cripple, remember?

Even he wouldn't like

to see you like this.

Ralph, I need a final statement from her, and

if I don't get it, there's gonna be trouble.

- Later, Neely, okay?

- Ralph!

How is she?

Well, come on.

Farley's expecting her any minute.

You guys get your asses

in front of those cameras...

and try and earn yourselves

a reputation, okay?

Well, move!

We just wanna ask

a few questions.

These are for you, Janet.

They'll make you feel

a whole lot better.

Yeah.

Amateurs.

- Give us a "J '!

- "J '!

- "A '!

- "A '!

- "N'!

- "N"!

- "E"!

- "E"!

- Give us a "T"!

- "T"!

We can't hear you!

- Give us a "J"!

- "J"!

Oh, my God. Character actors.

Ladies and gentlemen...

the studio band will soon

be here to entertain you...

in anticipation of tonight's

premiere taping...

of Farley Flavors'

Faith Factory.

And so if you're a follower

of exotic trends in fashion...

you'll find plenty to keep

you going here tonight.

And, naturally,

feeling the excitement...

and not wishing to stick out

like a sore thumb...

I had to get a little outfit

of my own together.

And this...

is it.

Ladies and gentlemen...

to help get you in the mood

for Faith Factory...

DTV proudly presents

Denton's own...

with a suburban garage sound.

Let's hear it for

Oscar Drill and the Bits!

Oh, Oliver.

This is one time charity

didn't begin at home.

One, two, three, four!

I know how it feels

to be coolin' my heels

I've been down on them

long enough

But if I take to them now

Then maybe somehow

You'll see

through the bluff

Of my playin' it tough

I've been a lifetime on deposit

And that's a long time

in the closet

And if you say to me

How was it

It was hard takin'

that heartbreakin'

Godforsaken route But I'm-

Buh-buh-buh-buh, buh-duh

Breakin' out

You may say that you choose

To be in my shoes

But look what it did for me

I got buried alive

I don't thrive on thatjive

Look and you'll see

That my spikes don't fit me

I've been a lifetime

on deposit

And that's a long time

in the closet

And if you say to me

How was it

It was hard takin'

that heartbreakin'

Godforsaken route

But I'm-

Buh-buh-buh-buh, buh-duh

Breakin'out

- Where are we goin'?

To a family reunion.

Breakin' out

- Breakin' out!

Breakin' out

Breakin' out

And she represents everything

our customers want...

innocence...

decency...

and the illusion

of a happy ending.

Oh, jolly good, Mr. Flavors.

And behind her image,

take-away therapy will thrive...

under the capable hands

of two great ethical intellects...

operating on the frontiers

of medical science.

- Huh? Huh?

- Mac and Nation.

Mac and Nation.

Yes. Great work.

And under the firm guidance...

of a great survivor...

in the treacherous

sea of diplomacy...

our own Bert Schnick.

Huh?

- Now let's get this show on the road!

- Hey!

Mr. Flavors, may I have a moment

of your time?

Sure thing.

We've heard rumors that you're going to

unveil more than just a new series tonight.

- Is this true?

- Absolutely correct.

Could you tell us

a little more about it?

Well, let just say...

we're planning on putting sanity

back on the national menu.

And how does local girl

Janet Majors...

fit into the scheme of things?

Very...

nicely.

Brad?

And he's resented you

all these years.

- And Janet?

- She represents everything he was denied.

By satellite, Farley

Flavors' Faith Factory.

Ladies and gentlemen...

Denton's own,

America's pride...

the world's example...

Janet, the sensation

of the planet.

We bring you

Miss Mental Health.

Isn't she lovely?

Mommy and Daddy love you, baby!

- She walks in beauty.

- That's my little girl!

Attagirl, Janet!

We love you, baby!

We all loveJanet.

- Who do we love?

- Janet!

Janet!

The dress Janet's wearing has been given by

Crme de la Crme Modes of downtown Denton...

and we've been asked that you take note of the

individual styling and exquisite tailoring.

This is just one of the many gifts so

freely and generously given toJanet.

The first of, we hope, many.

Miss Mental Health.

Ladies and gentlemen,

the president.

The president's here!

Zoom in there.

Hi, I'm Irwin Lapsey,

president of Lapsey Autos.

And I'm holding

in my hand here some keys.

Keys which I would like to give to the little

lady who's being so honored here tonight.

And I want to tell you.

If she takes these keys...

she will find that

they fit something.

And what that something is,

is an almost brand-new...

ultra-deluxe,

eight-cylinder convertible...

complete with radio, tape deck,

washable seat covers and many, many extras.

And it's all hers

for absolutely free.

Well, Janet's...

Janet's absolutely speechless,

ladies and gentlemen.

But here's someone

we do want to hear from.

Afirm favorite

of yours and mine.

You've revelled in his recipes.

You've marvelled at

his marriage guidance.

The all-knowing,

and now, all-seeing...

That's right!

Bert Schnick!

There. Down there. Come on, Betty.

Bert, you're beautiful!

- Hoopla, Denton!

- Hoopla, Bert!

- Thank you. Welcome.

- What's cooking, Bert?

I'll tell you what's cooking,

buddy, and I'll tell you too, you guys.

She made the blind see,

and it was a gift.

Who was the gift from?

- Let's hear an "F" for-

- Farley!

- And another "F" for-

- Flavors!

My friends!

And you are all my friends.

My friends, tonight we are taking

the first step of defiance...

and starting something

that will grow so big...

that the whole world will

reverberate with its sound.

And wherever our slogan...

"sanity and vanity"...

is uttered...

it will be linked

incontrovertibly with this night...

this station...

and this... beautiful face.

Huh? Come on! This way!

It's a crazy man!

- Seducer!

- And who are you, sir?

- Your twin brother and your accuser!

- Brad.

Arrest that man!

He's committed to our care.

I never signed your contract.

He's not going anywhere.

To revenge your twin,

you tried to abuse her.

A ridiculous accusation!

You force me to refuse her.

- Then why did you choose her?

- Because of you, sir.

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