Shooting Fish Page #4

We've just laid

the insulation...

we won from All In One DIY.

We made less than we could've

from flogging the stuff.

Is this public relations?

Is there a problem?

Not at all,

Mrs. Stratton-Luce.

The job, as you can see,

is complete.

Hmm.

Thank you. Regards to James.

I'm not doing another one.

Uh-huh.

We don't have enough.

Trustingness

is next to godliness.

Lofttec.

I can't believe

we're doing this.

I mean, we earned a small

fortune yesterday.

We only need one more grand.

Dylan?

Jez.

Dylan.

Look behind you.

Brilliant.

Jesus, I'm freakin'...

I've had such a weekend...

I think I must be turnin'

to gold...

Mr. Marcus Black.

Mrs. Rumbalow-Pierce?

Mrs. Pat MacGroyne.

Sil's dead?

Dead. Right.

Mrs. Cum m ins.

Robert asked us to come around

and slot in some insulation.

Oh. I wonder where he

got the money for that?

How much is it?

Fifty pounds.

Well, I know Robert

thought we needed insulation...

but I'm surprised he thinks

we can afford it.

I'll see if I can find 50.

Thin fish.

Mrs. Cummins, why don't

we come back another day?

We might be running

a special in a few weeks' time.

Oh, thank you.

I think that would be better.

Bye.

Penis.

Why didn't I see you bringing

the insulation in?

Insulation...

without the aggravation.

That's our motto.

Well, I hope you're going

to tidy up this mess.

Give us 10 minutes.

- She doesn't want a mess.

- I think we can help.

Have you got glass fiber

in between your bum cheeks?

There's nothing here now.

But they said you'd ordered it.

They may have gone next door.

Were they foreign?

I think

one of them was Australian.

Have you checked your loft?

Mr. and Mrs. Cummins,

may all your winters be warmer.

Insulation today.

Hello, young men?

Is there a problem?

Not at all, Mrs. Furnival-Jones.

And have you tidied up?

Yeah.

We were coming down.

Thirty-five... forty...

You don't have any

50 notes by any chance?

I find these smallish bills

so easy to spend.

You've done such lovely things

with your abode.

Run.

Run!

That's all right.

We forgot something.

Thwartman?

Oh!

Are those workmen still here?

They're upstairs.

Aah!

Oi! There they are!

Where?

Where's the keys?

I gave them to you.

We stole the van!

Georgie!

Georgie, start the van!

Jez, get inside!

Dylan!

You little bastards!

I love revenge.

"Dear van owner,

I was rushing back...

"to an ailing relative

when my car broke down...

"and not wishing to be delayed,

I took your van.

"I have now returned the van

with a full tank of petrol...

"and two theater tickets...

"to Andrew Lloyd Webber's

exciting new musical..."

Let's have a look.

"which I hope will go

some way to righting my wrong."

You two are risk

takers who thrive on danger.

Absolutely.

There's one thing

I can't figure out.

You spend lots of time with

a complicated computer scam.

And that pays you

what, say, 50 grand?

More or less.

Then you work

just as hard for 800.

You get free tea and coffee...

and sneak back

the cost of your phone calls.

- That's very perceptive.

- Why?

We're raising money

for this orphans project.

When the checks clear,

we'll have the necessary funds.

This is scary.

I'm starting to believe you.

Dylan!

That's great, Jez.

That's what we need.

Are you really giving

to an orphans housing project?

The orphans?

Yeah, we really are.

Do you two ever spend

any money at all?

In the last three years,

we've spent...

- 2,337.

- And sixpence.

Factory seconds.

Oh, hey.

Oh, beauty.

He's got an "A" in

the psychology of electronics.

The psychology of electronics?

What's that?

It means I can't get a job.

What've you got besides herpes?

I've got dyslexia.

It means I can't get a job,

either.

- Dylan.

- No. No more.

Can you fix toasters?

No, but he can tell

you how they were feeling...

when they decided to break down.

- What's the problem with it?

- The bread won't turn to toast.

I'd have to see it.

I didn't mean you

to come fix my toaster.

No, he could come by.

He'll take a look at it.

- Really?

- Of course.

- Tomorrow before lunch?

- Yeah. Thanks.

God, am I tired.

Pediatric Anesthesia.

I can't bear it.

Hi.

I said I'd come.

Your toaster.

Oh, yeah. I'm sorry.

Come in, come in.

- Have you just got up?

- No. I just got in.

I'm sure he'll pull through now.

Go in.

Nice place.

It's not ours.

My sister and I

are borrowing it from a friend.

Is this your sister?

Yeah, and little brother.

Right.

It doesn't pop out,

or it won't stay down.

I'm not promising anything.

It's usually

a triresistal malfunction...

with the thermostatic control.

As simple as that?

Sorry. I'm getting technical.

It's all right.

I'm only joking. Sit down.

Dylan says I must

never forget the pain...

my scientific knowledge

can cause other people.

Dylan says that to you?

Well, technically, he's right.

You two have

a bizarre relationship.

- How did you meet?

- Do you really want to know?

Why, is it technical?

I turned up for a day's work--

ages ago now--

it was about five years--

replying to an advert...

which asked

for anti-corrosion specialists.

I turned up,

and there he was--Dylan.

We were asked by the foreman...

to paint over every spot of rust

with a red lead mixture.

My heart sank.

Those things are huge.

And, you see, the great big

streaks of rust were OK...

but every little pinprick

had to be dabbed.

It was gonna take weeks.

So, Dylan worked out...

that as long as we

cover the big stuff...

and the man sees little dobs

of paint everywhere else...

we're gonna get paid.

When lam sad and weepy...

When all my hope is gone...

And I can't put my finger...

On the time things

first went wrong.

I have a little secret...

I like to tell myself...

And until now I haven't

told anybody else.

You may not see things my way...

Am I disturbing something?

No, nothing.

This is Jez.

Jez, this is Floss, my sister.

It's a very interesting model.

The Morph-Richards TUID-three.

Your toaster?

The Morph-Richards TUID-three.

Your toaster?

Yes. A lot of people

have told us that.

I better be off. Free lunch.

- Bye, Georgie, Jez.

- Bye-bye.

Would you excuse me?

I have to get changed.

- Sure.

- Thanks.

Hello? I've finished.

My God, you look...

Did you get it working?

What?

The Morphy... um, the toaster.

- I should go.

- Yeah, me, too.

Thanks, Jez. You're wonderful.

Bye.

If I could catch a star...

Before it touched the ground...

I'd place it in a box...

I'm sorry. I didn't

realize you were this lonely.

I missed the signs.

What are these?

Never a wrinkle, never a crease.

Make it thin, or make it obese.

Blenson's pack-away mannequins!

And so useful.

These are mannequins?

I guess someone lost

their girlie store license.

Lucky for us...

they're nice girls.

...With you by my side.

How fast the shadows fade.

And there is hope

inside my heart...

I'd rather do her.

For I have

something wonderful to live for.

The world's a better place

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