Short Cuts Page #25

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because I don't swim.

- So I'll go to lakes or rivers.

- [Marian] I'll give you a tour. We can...

- start with the upstairs.

- Oh, look at this.

- I'll show you the bedrooms first.

- Okay.

[Stuart]

I don't get out as much as I'd like to.

How about you?

You a fisherman?

I'm sorry I had to do that,

but you just got out ofline.

Come on, Bill.

- And I know I'm just a gardener.

- I'm getting tired of this.

Good-bye. Oh, no, let me

fix it there for you. Don't.

- Bill, this has taken f***ing hours.

- Yeah, well, you know.

- Come on.

- Stop it, stop it. Don't move.

I gotta go to the bathroom.

Don't lean on me like that.

- I'm taking this thing out till -

- No. Okay, okay.

- Just keep it in for the picture.

- Hold on a second.

Support your husband.

Now, look like I -

like someone really hurt you...

like Earl beat you.

- Thank you.

- Shut up.

- Did he?

- You know he didn't.

I know he didn't literally.

What else did he do?

- What do you think about

when you think about Earl?

- Can we stop?

I don't wanna talk about that, okay?

- Come on, Bill. Let's get going.

- I was in the shower sometimes...

and I hear the sound of the water

going down the drain...

and I think it's somebody hurting you

in the other room and it scares me.

- Bill, come on.

- Open your blouse a little for this one.

- No, I don't do those shots.

- Come on, just for me.

I don't wanna do this anymore. I've been

doing this for- I've been very patient.

- I mean, I could've sped up the process.

- No.

I could've just done it my-

my quick version.

Just, crunch! Crack!

[Yelling]

[Chuckling]

Please, let's-

- But I didn't, because I loved you so.

- I love you too.

Why did that excite me? I started getting

a little chubby when I was doing that.

That's weird.

Okay, this is my last request.

- That's it. I'm getting restless. I am.

- Okay. This is it, okay.

- Let's go. Where do you want this?

- Right under your armpit.

- This is it. I've been a sport.

- Okay.

- All right. It's perfect now.

- I want you to just hold this.

- You're dead, and your husband is a creep.

- All right. Okay, go.

- Do it. Do it. I'm ready.

- I love you.

[Stuart] I'm in sales. Hardware, primarily,

but I've sold about everything else.

- [Claire] Clothes.

- I've never sold clothes.

That's what I'm saying,

everything but clothes.

- So you're retired?

- You know what? I'm almost set up here.

- I wish.

- Ralph, could you bring everybody to the table?

- Claire.

- I been -

- I been out of work for three months now.

- Stuart.

I mean, nobody seems to be

interested in salesmen anymore.

- [Humming Jeopardy Theme]

- Everything's gonna become self-serve.

Could you sit over there with him?

Are you gonna be Alex Trebek?

- Yes, I'm gonna be Alex Trebek.

- Salesmen will be kind oflike the...

middlemen

everybody's trying to cut out.

Well, on that note, why don't we just

go ahead and start the game?

- Claire, do you wanna pick a category?

- It's your buzzer.

"The Night Sky,"

"Political Quotes," "Racy Movies"...

- Oh, "Racy Movies." "Racy Movies."

- "The Blues"-

Oh, my panties

are getting a little wet.

Oh, baby,

why don't you take your fingers...

and rub my hot, pink p*ssy?

Oh, yeah, right on my clit.

And now take your fingers

and put them inside me and -

Oh, yeah.

Just f*** me with your fingers, baby.

Oh, don't you wanna go inside?

You wanna hear how wet I am?

- What are you doing?

- Getting a roach.

That's how wet you make my p*ssy, baby.

Oh, I really want you to f*** me now.

I want you to go inside

with your big, hard cock.

Oh, but wait. Wait.

Make me beg for it.

Just tease my clit. Please, baby.

Oh, my legs are spread so wide.

Oh, I feel you f***ing me so deep.

Oh, please, harder.

Harder.

Oh, I can feel your balls

against my ass, baby.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, lift my legs above your shoulders.

Yeah, just f*** me so hard.

[Moans]

Oh, I'm gonna come.

[Moans]

[Line Clicks]

Sounded like you really got hot

talking to that guy.

Right. Did you give

Joe-Joe his eardrops?

Talking about his dick and everything.

"Dick." I never say that word.

- Cock, whatever.

- I hate that word. "Dick."

[Engine Continues Running]

[Engine Running]

- [Ralph] Who is Mariette Hartley?

- [Marian] That's right.

[Ralph] It's not really fair

that I should win all the time, is it?

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