Shortbus Page #5

I hate him.

He can be a lot worse.

At least he's cute.

That's pretty unusual.

What's pretty unusual?

I never had a john that cute.

You know how we got started?

How?

After watching "My own private Idaho".

I grew up in a small town, so I didn't know where to go.

So I waited outside the theater where it was playing.

I waited for somebody to come out.

And that's where I met my first john.

So was it choice?

Yeah.

I loved it actually.

I knew exactly what I was worth.

You know?

Exactly what I had to contribute.

What was like, the most you ever made in a day?

Well, with cab fare--

$389.

That's pretty good for a small town.

You're with that guy who looks just like you, right?

Yeah.

He's cute. He looks like a jelly bean.

Yeah.

He's great, actually.

I never let him f*** me.

I never let anybody f*** me.

What are you guys doing in there?

You're an artist.

No. I suck.

Hey, me too.

Do you take that camera everywhere you go?

Yeah, something like that.

Are you OK?

Why are you crying?

I look back to things that were when I was 12 years old.

I'm still looking for the same things now.

Time's up.

Hey, what are you doing?

I'm looking for my husband.

I just found mine.

Both of them. I'm totally in love with them.

But together. Not so much separately.

I hope they know it's gonna have to be a monogamous relationship.

- Excuse me.

What the f*** do you think you're doing?

Who are you?

Who the f*** are you?

I'm Ceth. Is there a problem?

You're not funny.

I thought it was kinda funny.

No you're not. And you're a horrible therapist.

Listen to me:
James and Jamie are perfect.

Just leave them alone.

I think you need to leave.

No. I think you're f***ing with something very pivotal to them and to me.

Just walk away!

F*** you!

You motherf***er!

OK, OK.

Timeout, timeout.

Sorry, I--

Are you OK?

I've got an egg vibrating between my legs!

What the f*** is going on in here?

Hey. Are you OK?

You gave it away?

I just misplaced it.

I know you're hurt.

I am not hurt. I am furious!

I totally honor your feelings, but I want you to own them.

Shut up with your "honoring your feelings".

And do not tell me what to own.

Because I know what I own,

you balding impotent liar!

Right, sister!

All right, show's over.

We're gonna be processing to the next room now.

Hey.

F***! F***!

Yes. I--I need an ambulance.

I'm at the Palestra Gym. It's on 99...

Hello?

Who is this?

Oh. Hey. How are you?

Do I know you?

No.

Did you follow me?

Why would you wanna do that to yourself?

James-- Yes, I followed you to the gym.

Why?

Let's not talk about this on the phone.

What does your afternoon look like?

I'm looking for a friend. His last name is Baysin.

B-A-Y-

What do you mean, he checked himself out?

So what do you want?

I want to be restrained, but I don't want to totally lose control.

Good.

'Cause I can't be bothered to tie you up.

Turn over and hold the headbar. If you let go, I'll leave.

You never asked your wife to do this?

I guess she wouldn't understand.

All right.

This one's for her.

And I told Brad, "I think you're confusing me with someone who hurt you."

And he said, "No, Cheryl, you're hurting me."

Right?

And that was an eye opener for me.

And whenever I brought up my gastrointestinal problem...

When did you start watching me?

Um, a couple of years ago.

I work right out of here.

I proofread for a living.

I don't have cable.

I remember watching Jamie cut your hair.

It just seemed like fun.

And you were always my favorite,

because you were sad.

Do you have a boyfriend?

Look, James, please, you have to call Jamie, OK?

Just call him.

You can use my phone.

Why won't he come home?

Wouldn't you wanna go home?

What are you doing?

I don't understand?

What are you doing here?

Explain it to me, please.

First you bring Ceth into the relationship--

What's wrong with you?

I didn't want Jamie to be alone.

How long have you been planning this?

What, so you've been making a suicide tape for the last six months?

I just wanted him to know it wasn't his fault.

Jamie loves you.

You have so much.

I know.

I see it all around me.

But it stops at my skin.

I can't let it inside.

It's always been like that.

It's always gonna be like that.

I can feel it in little moments with Jamie,

because he loves me so hard.

He loves me as hard as the people who treated me like sh*t.

I can't feel it.

Don't.

Don't. Don't. No.

No. No.

Go! Go!

Don't you see that I don't wanna be this!

... if that makes people uncomfortable, then it makes us uncomfortable.

But at least it's truthful.

I don't want to lie any more.

Because that isn't who I am, and it isn't who I'm trying to, who we're trying to be.

I have to get some sort of information,

because the patient that was there checked himself out.

Ceth!

Are you sure?

Be glad you followed me out into the f***ing cold

and bucked a date

so you could feel something?

It's hard not to feel anything in your life.

Do you feel it now, you little f*ggot?

Don't you f***ing look at me.

Don't f***ing look at me!

It's OK.

"... is doing everything possible to get some power back,

"and he's advising calm, which seems unnecessary,

"because there's been no reported incidents of looting or violence of any kind.

"So far, no explanation for what caused the...

I'm out to get some fruit and some batteries.

I'll be back in five minutes.

"... no reason to believe that this is the result of terrorist acts..."

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