Shrek Forever After Page #10

Donkey:
Animal cruelty! Help!

Shrek:
(covers Donkey's mouth) You need to calm down! I’m your friend.

Donkey:
(muffled) My friend?

Shrek:
I’m not gonna hurt you, all right?

He nodded, though in fear.

Shrek:
Good. I’m gonna let go…right…now.

Once Shrek removed his hand, Donkey still panicked.

Donkey:
Please! Eat my face last! Send my hooves to my mama!

Shrek:
Donkey! You’ve got to trust me.

Donkey:
Why should I trust you?

Shrek:
Because…because…

He then thought of the only way to convince Donkey, but he shook his head, not believing he was about to do it.

Shrek:
(sighs) OK.

He got up and started to sing while dancing a bit, and wasn't particularly good at carrying a tune.

Shrek:
(singing) Winter, spring, summer, fall All you got to do is call And I'll be there, ye, ye, ye You've got a friend

Donkey then got up, with his look of fear fading away, and he began to grin warmly. It looked like for a minute, Donkey recognized his best friend and was about to embrace him but instead, he ran away, screaming some more. The ogre was left dumbstruck.

Shrek:
Fine! Go ahead! Run away! Who needs you?

He then miserably walked through the forest and sat down on a log, but upon sitting, a squeaky noise was heard. He reached from his pocket and pulled out the source of the noise, Felicia's squeaky ogre toy. He stared at it and held it sadly, knowing he'll never see Fiona or his kids again. Then, as a tear began streaming from his eye, he held his head down.

Donkey's Voice:
I’ve never seen an ogre cry.

He turned and saw Donkey right next to him. He then wiped the tear away.

Shrek:
I’m not crying.

Donkey:
It’s nothing to be ashamed of. I cry all the time. Just thinking about my grandma, or thinking about baby kittens, or my grandma kissing a baby kitten, (choking up) or a little baby grandma kitten. (starts to cry himself) That is so darn sad.

Shrek:
I said I’m not crying!

Donkey:
(recovers) Take it easy, I’m only trying to help. It’s none of my business why you’re upset. By the way, why are you upset?

Shrek:
I was tricked into signing something I shouldn’t have.

Donkey:
You signed up for one of them time-shares, huh?

Shrek:
(pulls out contract) No. I signed this.

Donkey:
(gasps) You should never sign a contract with Rumpelstiltskin!

Shrek:
Yeah, I got that.

Donkey:
His fine print is crafty.

Shrek:
I know.

Donkey:
His exit clauses are sneaky.

Shrek:
Yeah, I...What did you say?

Donkey:
I’m talking about the exit clause. Used to be, you had to guess his name, but now everybody knows who Rumpelstiltskin is.

Shrek:
Donkey, I’ve read the fine print. There’s nothing about an exit clause in here.

Donkey:
Well, you didn’t expect him to make it easy for you. Here, let me show you how it’s done.

He grabbed the contract with his teeth and placed it on the ground, starting to fold the paper.

Donkey:
I didn’t spend all that time around them witches without picking up a few tricks. Your tiny, little ogre brain couldn’t begin to comprehend the complexity of my polygonic foldability skills.

Shrek:
What are you doing?

Donkey:
Hey, I can’t get my origami on unless you back off. Thank you.

Shrek rolled his eyes and sighed as Donkey continued folding.

Shrek:
OK, here’s what you gotta do. You fold this piece here, make this letter match up here, bring this corner here, and if you do it just right, it will show you what to do.

Then Shrek saw that Donkey's paper folding started to from letters together to form the exit clause. Once Donkey was finished, he showed the folded up paper to the ogre.

Donkey:
There! "Try Lou’s Bliss. "

Shrek only gave a confused look.

Donkey:
Who’s Lou?

Shrek:
Give me that!

He snatched the paper and did some folding himself, and then it showed a heart with the TRUE words of the exit clause: "True Love's Kiss".

Shrek:
"True Love’s Kiss. "

Donkey:
Hey, you have to take me to dinner first.

Shrek:
(rolls eyes) "According to fairy tale law, if not fully satisfied, true love’s kiss will render this contract null and void." Donkey, you did it!

He then picked Donkey up and hugged him, with Donkey struggling.

Shrek:
Look at you! If Fiona and I share true love’s kiss, I will get my life back!

Donkey:
(gets down) OK! This isn’t a petting zoo! So where is this Fiona?

Shrek:
Well, that’s just it, you see. I don’t know.

Donkey:
You know, when I lose something, I always try to retrace my steps. So, where did you leave her last?

Shrek:
The last time I saw her, I told her I wished I’d never rescued her.

His eyes widened in realization.

Shrek:
Oh, no.

Shrek knew the only place to look was the place he first rescued her: the dragon's keep, and that's where he went, with Donkey following. This time, there was no lava surrounding the castle. Shrek ran across the bridge, hoping to find Fiona.

Donkey:
Shrek? Shrek! Shrek, wait! Wait, Shrek! What, are you crazy? That’s the Dragon’s Keep! They keep dragons in there!

He tried running across to stop the ogre, but he screamed when one of the boards he stepped on broke, so he quickly went back.

Donkey:
OK, yeah, fine! Go ahead! I’m gonna just hang back here and find us some breakfast!

Not paying attention to Donkey, Shrek just raced through the castle, breathing desperately. Thankfully, since Dragon wasn't there either for some reason, Shrek had no trouble making it to the stairs leading to the highest room in the tallest tower. He ran up those stairs and burst the door open, causing pigeons in the room to scatter.

Shrek:
Fiona!

He looked and saw the bed where he first found Fiona deserted, and the curtains and sheets were all ripped. That's not all he saw. He saw something behind the tapestry of a knight on a steed. He went over, pushing the tapestry aside, seeing markings on the stone wall. They were tallies of all the days Fiona has been locked in the tower. Shrek tore the tapestry off, and the whole wall was marked with tallies. Shrek put his hand on the wall in regret, and then depressingly went over to the bed, and there he saw Fiona's princess tiara.

Shrek:
Oh, no.

He picked up the tiara, sat down and held it in his hands.

Shrek:
If I didn’t save Fiona…then who did?

He then noticed another object on the ground, and that object was the handkerchief Fiona gave Shrek on the day he rescued her. He picked it up and held it as well.

Soon, he returned from the castle, holding the handkerchief.

Shrek:
This is the favour Fiona was supposed to give me on the day we met.

Donkey looked surprised.

Shrek:
It’s a symbol of our love. (pushes hankie in front of Donkey's face) Now smell it!

Donkey:
(winces) Hey, man, get that dirty favour out of my face!

Shrek:
Your nose is the only chance I have of tracking down my wife, so stop complaining and start smelling. (waves it in front of Donkey) Smell it! Get it! Away you go, girl!

Donkey:
Do I look like a bloodhound to you? In case you haven’t noticed, I’m a donkey, not a dog! If I was a dog, they’d call me Dog, not Donkey! And another thing...

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