Shrek Forever After Page #4

Butterpants's Father: As long as you’re not doing anything, how about one of those famous Shrek roars?

Butterpants:
Do the roar.

Shrek:
Let me set you straight, Butterpants. An ogre only roars when he’s angry. (chuckles a bit) You don’t want to see me angry, do you?

Butterpants:
Do it.

He licked his lollipop, while Shrek just walked away, trying to keep his anger in.

Shrek:
(to himself) Hold it together. Just hold it together.

Butterpants:
Daddy, he’s getting away. Do something.

He set the cake down at the table Fiona was at.

Fiona:
Oh good.

She then saw the cake with a big smear over it, thanks to Donkey's licking.

Fiona:
(gasps) What happened to the cake?

Shrek:
Trust me, it's an improvement.

Queen Lillian:
(sees the cake) You licked it!

Shrek:
No.

Queen Lillian:
Just because you’re an ogre, doesn’t mean you have to eat like one.

Mabel, wearing service clothes as well, walked by.

Mabel:
Looks like you forgot the candles.

Wolf walked by blowing up a balloon until it popped, startling Shrek.

Fiona:
OK, just watch the cake. I'll go get them.

Fiona went to get the candles.

Shrek:
(confused) "Watch the cake"?

He turned and to his alarm, he saw that the cake was gone, and there was nothing left but a couple crumbs.

Shrek:
Ahh! Where's the cake?!

The pigs stood there with frosting on their lips, looking guilty.

Heimlich:
We ate ze cake.

Dieter:
Ja.

Shrek:
(shocked) What?

Then his babies started crying a bit, probably because they heard that the pigs ate the cake.

Shrek:
No, no. Don't cry, shhh.

Butterpants's Father: Hey! I believe you promised my son a roar.

Butterpants:
Do the roar.

Shrek:
Uh...(unconvincingly) roar.

Butterpants:
Don't like it.

Shrek:
Pigs, we need another cake.

Heimlich:
But we ate ze ozer cakes.

The babies cried some more, and Shrek tried calming them down by bouncing them.

Butterpants's Father: Come on man, One roar.

Donkey:
Hey, everybody! Shrek’s gonna do his famous ogre roar!

The Dronkeys gathered around their dad, excited for uncle Shrek's roar.

Shrek:
Not now, Donkey! Pigs, are there any cupcakes?

Dieter:
We ate zhem, too.

Heimlich:
Zhey have lollipops.

Horst:
No, I ate them.

Dieter:
What you didn’t share?

Horst:
(frowns) Well, you didn’t share the croissants!

The babies cried some more.

Shrek:
Everything will be okay.

Fiona came and took her kids, holding them.

Fiona:
Shrek, what's going on?

Next, Butterpants was hugging Donkey.

Donkey:
Come on, Shrek, your fans are waiting!

Butterpants:
Do the roar.

Pinocchio ran around Shrek, singing and shouting indistinctly. Wolf blew another balloon up until it popped. Then everyone all spoke or made noises at once. All of this pressure and tension going on today was taking a toll on Shrek enough, he was losing his patience, trying his best to fight it.

Crowd:
We need the cake! (chanting) Cake! Cake! Cake!

Shrek couldn't hold it in any longer, so he let out an enormous, furious ogre roar that nearly blew everyone away, even Butterpants's hat was blown off.

Shrek:
RRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!!

Once he was done, he panted and everyone else was left stunned and silent for a bit until they all cheered.

Butterpants:
(chuckles as he hugs his dad) I love you, daddy.

Wolf then slapped a party hat onto Shrek's head, to his annoyance.

Puss:
Everybody, I have found...

He lifted his cape to reveal another cake decorated like the last one.

Puss:
(finishes) another cake!

Everyone, minus Fiona, started chanting Shrek's name as Shrek stared angrily at the cake, fuming.

Most of everyone: Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!

The concerned Fiona just noticed the look on her husband as he handed Felicia to her mother.

Fiona:
Shrek? Are you OK?

Shrek continued glaring at the adorable ogre picture on the cake, feeling it mocked him.

Most of everyone: Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!

Shrek then slammed his big fist into the cake's center, making everyone gasp in shock. He all gave a miserable stare at everybody and even Fiona, who was more stunned than anyone else. Then he stormed out of the diner in anger. Everyone else just stood, stunned. Even Gingy was stunned as his frosting chaps fell off.

Outside, a familiar washed-up deal maker was in the trash, looking for scraps, as he saw a plate and licked it, trying to get some flavor. Then he heard the door slam as he hid, but saw Shrek storm out, with Fiona following.

Fiona:
Unbelievable.

Shrek:
Tell me about it! Those villagers…

Fiona:
I’m not talking about the villagers, Shrek. I’m talking about you. Is this really how you want to remember the kids’ first birthday?

Shrek:
Oh, great. So this is all my fault?

Fiona:
Yes. But you know what? Let’s talk about this after the party, at home.

Shrek:
You mean that roadside attraction we live in? (mockingly) Step right up! (does a mocking jolly dance) See the dancing ogre! Don’t worry! He won’t bite!

He then took off the party hat, smashed it and threw it to the ground.

Shrek:
I used to be an ogre. Now I’m just a jolly green joke!

Fiona:
Okay, okay, maybe you’re not the ogre you used to be, but maybe that’s not such a bad thing.

Shrek:
I wouldn’t expect you to understand. It’s not like you’re a real ogre. You spent half your life in a palace.

Fiona:
(solemnly) And the other half locked away in a tower.

Shrek:
Look, all I want is for things to go back to the way they used to be! Back when villagers were afraid of me, and I could take a mud bath in peace. When I could do what I wanted, when I wanted to do it! Back when the world made sense!

Fiona:
You mean back before you rescued me from the Dragon’s Keep?

Shrek:
Exactly!

She looked at him, apalled by the answer, and a long silence followed, before Fiona spoke quietly, feeling hurt.

Fiona:
Shrek, you have three beautiful children, a wife who loves you, friends who adore you. You have everything. Why is it the only person who can’t see that is you?

She then turned away and went to the door, looking back at her husband, who only gave a bitter look before she went back inside. Shrek just stood there before turning and walking away bitterly.

Shrek:
That’s just great.

As he left, Rumpelstiltskin peeked out, and his pet goose, who was now freakishly larger than she was before, peeked out of another trash can, eating some trash. Rumpelstiltskin smirked evilly, knowing this was his chance to finally get back at the ogre who put him out of business.

Later, as rain clouds were appearing, Shrek was storming alone in the forest, stewing about what Fiona said.

Shrek:
If she thinks I’m gonna slink back there and apologize, she’s got another thing coming. She’s not the boss of me. I’m an ogre and I’m not gonna apologize for acting like one.

He then heard a voice from the distance.

Voice:
Help, please! Someone, anyone at all, help me! Please, help!

He headed over to see who it was, and in the middle of the forest, the cries of help (or so Shrek believes) came from Rumpelstiltskin, whose legs were underneath his carriage, making it appear as his carriage was broken down on top of him.

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