Shrek the Halls Page #2

- All right, that's close enough.

OK, all right, I just...

guess I got... a little

excited about Christmas and

all the presents and mistletoe

and everything,

and I forgot that it's...

It's about us all bein' together,

and I'm... I'm sorry, Shrek.

I know, Donkey, and... and I'm sorry

it ended up in a great big fight.

Christmas is all about big fights.

My mama used to say, "Christmas ain't

Christmas till somebody cries."

Usually that someone's me.

There is no right way to

do Christmas. You just do it.

Ja, with schnitzel!

- And eggnog!

- And cheese!

- And family.

- Yeah. And family.

So despite the fact that you

drive me crazy at times...

Yes, Donkey, I'm lookin' at you.

...it would mean a lot to me if

you'd all come back and join us.

OK, I guess I deserved that.

Don't push your luck.

They got you good, Shrek!

That wasn't even funny!

Who did that?

Well, that's the last

of the spare blankets.

Sorry, but this is my spot. I never get

the good spots, so I specifically...

So we are pigs,

pigs in the blanket, ja?

- Ja.

- Ja.

- This is funny then, ja?

- Ja, ja.

- This is funny.

- Ja.

- Yep, that's a good one.

- Good night, everyone.

- It's time for lights out.

- We can't go to sleep yet.

We haven't heard a bedtime story. Right?

Shrek, yeah!

All right. All right.

Don't need this.

OK.

'Twas the night before Christmas

Not a swamp rat did creep

As mother and babe

played kazoo in their sleep

Now, the sight of the house

would make any ogre droop

For 'twas sickeningly sweet

as unicorn poop

Yet who was arriving

to help this lost cause?

The foul, the vile

and handsome Ogre Claus

Hey. How's it goin'?

He looked all around

and scratched at his beard

And said...

And said...

This place is worse

than I thought... feared.

So he grabbed up his belly

and screwed up his face

And let loose a...

That transformed the place

With a gleam in his eye

his work here was done

And then to the babies

he gave one by one

A festering bottle

of stinky swamp juice

And for mommy a kiss

and a good Christmas goose

Four hundred twenty five degrees,

Then digging a finger

inside of his nose

And giving a nod up

the chimney he rose

And I heard him exclaim

as he drove out of sight

"Smelly Christmas to all,

and to all a gross night!"

Ho, ho, ho!

Ho, ho, ho!

- Ho, ho, ho!

- Santa?!

Ho, ho, ho!

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