Shrink Page #6

Yeah. I gotta go.

Wait, wait, wait.

My name's Jeremy.

I'm a writer and I have a girlfriend.

She's my age,

so I'm not a weirdo or anything.

Look, I just would really like to have

a cup of coffee with you.

You like school?

I guess.

You guess?

Sounds like a "no" to me.

It's all whatever.

Whatever.

That's a word I used

many, many times when

I was in high school myself.

Yeah, I actually...

I actually got suspended

for a week because

I wrote a report on this book

called The Anarchist's Cookbook.

- What?

- It's this book...

It basically tells you how to make bombs.

I wasn't trying to make bombs,

but I was trying to do this report

and show this subversive society, whatever.

This whole big thing.

What about you?

You ever get kicked out?

Suspended or anything?

What do you think?

Probably.

Probably.

Yeah?

Yeah? You did, didn't you?

Do you want to go to this party

with me tonight?

Really?

All right, Jemma Brown.

Dr. Carter?

Would you like me to get you a razor?

So you could shave?

No.

- You sure about that?

- Yeah.

Okay.

I'm here with Dr. Henry Carter.

Him, the shrink of the stars.

He's a therapist practicing in Los Angeles.

- A bestselling author...

- Hey, babe.

That's your guy, isn't it?

Including, of course, his 1995 classic...

- Yeah.

...Stop Feeling Sad.

Doctor, it's good to have you here.

Tonight's topic is suicide,

with the implicit question...

Why do they do it?

Can you shed some light

on this dark topic for us?

"Why do they do it?"

That's your question?

Yes.

I ought to know.

My wife committed suicide.

She wrote me a letter.

A note.

You're supposed to call it a note.

I'm a fraud.

A big fraud.

Do you honestly believe

what you're saying?

This book.

This book.

I wrote this book

to feel better about myself.

Don't buy this book.

It's bullshit.

Don't buy this book.

Don't buy this book.

It's all bullshit.

It's all bullshit, and then you die.

We knew that going in.

Sorry, I gotta take this.

Hello.

Oh, my God.

What would make somebody

do something like that?

Take a sh*t on my goddamn porch.

Hey. Are you poking my assistant?

'Cause I don't know if you've noticed,

but she's pregnant,

and that's just f***ing gross.

You really like her.

Yeah.

Yeah, she's a good kid.

Don't tell her I said that.

You guys can go home.

- We'll stay.

- No, really.

I got my best man on it.

Is this the John Belushi suite?

What does it say?

Let's see. Cocaine.

Amphetamines.

Klonopin. Soma?

Alcohol.

You have a drinking problem, my friend.

I'm Irish.

What the f*** is Ketamine?

- It's a horse tranquilizer.

- Of course it is.

You may want to stand up

for this next part.

You f***ing kidding?

I did it with Keira.

- You what?

- I had sex with Keira.

We f***ed.

So, if you need to come at me,

if you want to take a swing,

whatever you gotta do

to make this right between us,

I completely understand.

I'm not f***ing doing the asteroid movie.

Have you been up all night?

Yes.

It's done.

Oh, my God.

Patrick? Read this.

Yeah, yeah, I'm on it.

No, I really want you to read this.

Come on, Daisy, just give me the gist.

When's the last time

you actually read a whole script?

Read? I don't need to read, Daisy.

I have an agile mind.

Do you even like movies?

When's the last time you actually

sat through a whole movie?

Way too long.

Spoiler alert... the boat sinks.

Patrick, I have never

asked you for anything,

and now I'm asking you to do something.

Just f***ing read it, okay?

Okay.

Today's gonna be

our last session, all right?

I just need you to know that.

- Why?

- It's not about you.

All right? It's me.

Is it because you went crazy on TV?

Look, I'm gonna give you

the name of a colleague.

He's very, very good.

He's gonna... What's that?

I want you to read it.

It's not addressed to me.

If it says anything about why it happened,

I want you to tell me.

Is this what I think it is?

Does it say why?

You tell them the next

communication from them

better be an offer on the table,

or this is over.

Yes.

No. I've heard it so much.

I'm done.

I'm done with them.

Do you understand? I'm done.

How you doing?

I saw you on TV.

That was dope.

Two sacks of dankness, please.

All right, word.

Wait, wait, wait.

What's that?

- What's what? This?

- Yeah.

- You don't want that.

- Why not? What is it?

Because that's some break-the-glass-

in-case-of-emergency type sh*t.

- And I don't...

- That sounds perfect.

- I don't...

- Yeah, I want this.

Hey.

What's up?

Jemma.

Please wait.

- I was going to tell you.

- Tell me what?

That you were hanging out

with me for research?

I am your friend.

Can't you tell that?

I mean, it's all in there.

They're just words.

They don't mean anything.

You're in it, too.

I didn't know anything about this.

He must have read your...

I trusted you.

How f***ing dare you?

That was my patient's file

you f***ing stole, you dick.

- No, listen.

- What the f*** is the matter with you?

Listen to me. Listen.

Did you read it?

Did I read it?

What is this, a f***ing workshop?

If you read it,

you might understand what l...

Damn you, son of a...

Jesus...

You all right, J?

- No.

- Jesus.

- Come on, man, I got you.

- F***ing Christ.

F***!

Punched by Pablo Escobar.

Jesus Christ.

Hope you have a nice career, you c*nt.

Get the f*** out of here, a**hole.

No, no, no.

Don't say that.

- Who was that guy?

- He's my godbrother.

F***.

Jesus?

Hey, man. F***.

F***ing Christmas in Vietnam.

- What?

- That's what we smoked.

I smoked them, too.

They were f***ing laced in embalming fluid.

Man, I'm...

I'm sorry. I didn't...

I didn't know.

Wow.

Are you mad at me?

No.

I appreciate that.

Yeah, no worries.

What are you doing here?

I found you.

I rode in the ambulance.

I think they have me on a lot of drugs.

You're on some painkillers.

You fell pretty hard.

I fell?

I don't remember.

You also have a lot of toxins in your system.

Yeah, embalming fluid.

That was my bad.

I'm sorry about that.

I love your work, though.

Where's August?

Caroline gave him to me.

Happiness.

"Happiness" is a word for a feeling.

Feelings are rarely understood

in the moment.

They are quickly forgotten

and almost always mis-remembered.

"Dear Henry..."

You've been my assistant now

for, what, a little over a year?

No, two years, actually.

Last month was our anniversary.

What do you think of me?

I mean really.

What do you think of me?

I think... I think you have your moments.

Really?

Yeah.

Good. 'Cause you're f***ing fired.

What?

You're f***ing fired.

Wow. No.

This is because I'm pregnant.

But you know what?

I promise my water

is not gonna break on you.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- I have a scheduled C-section.

There's no chance...

You want to be a producer, right?

Yeah, but how would you know that?

I've never told you that.

I read all your emails

when you first started.

I didn't know I could trust you.

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