Sick Of It All

Sh*t.

Sh*t, sh*t, sh*t,

sh*t, sh*t.

In other news,

the case of the missing boy.

The child goes by

the name of l.P.

And he has long,

girl-like hair

and the face of a prince.

He has been missing

for three days,

so, folks,

keep your eyes peeled.

And now for some jazz.

Oh, f***!

--What the f*** are you doing?

-What? What?

-Oh, Jesus. Again?

What the hell

is wrong with you?

-Nothing.

-You were pissing in

my goddamn sink.

It's my goddamn sink, too.

It's our goddamn house.

Don't pick a fight with me

just to change the subject.

You just pissed

in our goddamn sink

after I've asked you not to.

Should I just start

leaving my bloody tampons

on your pillow?

-Jesus, relax.

-Don't tell me to relax.

Don't ever tell a woman

to relax.

I have a voice.

I deserve to be heard.

Baby, baby, it's too early

for all of this, all right?

You beat me to the shower

so I pissed in the sink.

I'm sorry.

I promise it won't

happen again.

It was stupid.

It was dumb.

Dumb.

It was really dumb.

Why don't you get dressed

and I'll finish

making breakfast.

If you think I'm eating

your urine-splattered eggs,

then you are dumb.

"Dumb. Really dumb."

Yeah, she won't eat

my urine-splattered eggs,

but she'll put

my dick in her mouth.

-I'm sorry. What?

-What? Rose?

Oh, we'll see

if I put your dick

in my mouth now.

Oh, yeah, great, honey.

Use sex like blackmail,

that's great.

To blackmail you?

What is this,

a murder mystery?

You're a child.

Grow up.

You're a disgusting pig.

What?

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I'm the child, right?

Because I play with toys.

"You need to grow up,

you fat pig."

That's what they used to say

when I was in third grade,

-and I'm the adult?

-I didn't say anything

about the toys.

And I didn't call you fat.

I called you disgusting.

Oh, yeah,

that's a little bit

more grown-up.

You did call me dumb

three times.

Just let it go.

I'm going to be late.

Just don't talk to me

for five minutes.

You're not even...

You're not even going to

try your toast, even?

No, I'm not.

Thanks.

Hey, I said I was sorry,

and I meant it.

It's fine.

I'm fine.

I'm a little bit

grossed out

and I got upset,

but it's no big deal.

Okay.

Remember to pay the gas

and electric bills.

-I will.

-Checks are in the

envelopes by the door.

-No problem.

-And the dry cleaning.

-I will grab it.

-My new dress is in there.

-Ooh, the white one.

-Green one.

Right, the green one.

I like the green one.

The green one's sexy.

It's nothing fancy.

It's just a green dress,

but I want to

wear it tonight.

What's tonight?

What do you mean,

what's tonight?

-Dinner with cam.

-Cam? Cam.

Camilian daily?

You forgot?

Anthony, you forgot?

Jesus, you said

you were going to cook.

It was your idea.

It's my idea?

I don't think so.

You invited him at

unqiue's housewarming party.

Why would I do that?

I don't even like the guy.

You are so closed-minded.

He's really helped me.

I know, I mean,

and that's great.

That's good for you.

I like that. That's good.

Then why don't you

like him then?

I don't know, he's just--

he's a little--

wait, what the hell?

What kind of name

is "unique"?

Is that an actual

person name?

Is there somebody

named that?

What? I don't--

housewarming party?

Do you pay attention

to anything?

I have never met

a single person

in my whole life

named unique.

I would remember that.

That's a unique name.

-Last Saturday night.

-Last Saturday?

Where the hell

do you think you were?

Last Saturday?

Oh, Jesus.

I can't do this right now.

Wait, that was her name?

Unique was her name?

It was a housewarm--

sh*t, I was drunk.

Just pay the bills

and go to the cleaners

and try to get

some work done.

Try not to spend

the whole day

-looking at your toy books.

-They're not toy books.

They're pricing books

for collector toys, all right?

Look, you knew that

when we started dating

that I was a toy collector,

that this was my passion.

Oh, god.

It's more like an addiction.

What, because

collecting these antiques

is going to solve

world hunger?

Yeah, and toy collecting

is curing cancer.

Oh, touch.

So look at that,

all of the sudden

we have something in common.

Well, if you think

we're so different,

then we don't

have to do this.

We don't have to do what?

Nothing. Forget it.

No, what did

you mean by that?

Just shut up!

I'm just saying,

get some work done.

There's--

there's nicer ways

of saying that.

It's fine.

Okay, it's fine.

It's fine.

I got to go.

Please, the bills

and the cleaners

and dinner,

and I'm picking cam up--

I know. You told me.

I know.

You told me three time--

wait a second.

You're picking cam up?

Yeah, that's right.

He doesn't own a car.

Guy doesn't own a car?

What? Does he

not believe in the evils

of the automobile?

I'll have you know,

the automobile had been

around a long time,

longer than even

the toaster was invented.

What are you even

talking about?

You don't have a car.

I don't own a car

not because I don't like cars.

I like cars.

I can't afford a car.

But as soon

as I get enough money,

I'm going to get a car.

You invited him.

It made me happy.

I thought for a moment

you were actually starting

to open up about it.

Now I'm wondering

why you even did so

in the first place.

-Because I was drunk.

-God. Okay, I got to go.

We'll be here around 8:00.

Please have dinner ready.

-What am I cooking?

-Oh, you don't remember?

No. What am I cooking?

You're making

a roasted pumpkin feta

over quinoa salad

with white gazpacho soup.

You said three things

and I don't know

what they are.

Yeah, well,

you said you'd made it

a thousand times,

which was news to me.

Why would I say that?

Unique said she ate it,

and you jumped in with,

"i can make that."

-I did?

-Oh, god.

I don't know.

Just figure it out.

I got to go.

You're a good cook

when you're

not pissing on it.

Jesus Christ,

cut me some slack.

I didn't piss

on breakfast, okay?

You don't have to be

all cunty and naggy about it.

-I'm late.

-Okay.

Hey, I'm sorry.

I love--

slammed the door

in my f***ing face

telling you

i f***ing love you.

That's bullshit.

It's f***ing bullshit.

I will f***ing sh*t

in your f***ing dinner

you f***ing c*nt.

I will f***ing do it.

I will f***ing do it.

I will f***ing do it.

I will sh*t in it.

You and that f***ing fag,

that cam f***ing daily.

Are you f***ing kidding me?

Are you f***ing

kidding me?

F***ing...

I am so sick of the way

that you bark at me

like I'm some sort

of f***ing dog.

And what do I do?

I f***ing act like

a goddamn dog.

You smack me

on my f***ing nose

and I go running.

And you f***ing

call me back

and I go f***ing

running back

and you smack me

on my f***ing nose again.

F***ing dog.

You f***ing dog.

That is no way

to be treated.

That's bullshit.

That's f***ing bullshit.

That is bullshit.

That's bullshit.

I do not deserve to be

f***ing treated that way.

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