Side Effects Page #2

snag me a couple samples of Viagra?"

And I'm like how the heck are you supposed to

respond to that?

Um Dad, I'm not sure I should be snagging you

samples of anything.

Oh God, I can't believe I just told you that story.

He sounds like quite the funny guy.

So tell me again, you're going to quit just like that?

Just like that.

I wish I could quit.

Then do it.

You make it sound so easy.

Well you're making it more difficult than it is.

Yeah, but what about bills and having to buy a car.

Hey, can we finish this conversation tomorrow?

There is something I want to show you.

(giggling) I'd love to.

# There was something in the air...

# There was something in the air...

This is gorgeous.

We're only 10 miles from town?

Would you like to come in?

What is this?

This, is the kitchen, where I imagine you will be

cooking me breakfast in about 12 months.

(laughing) Well, that is highly unlikely for several

reasons.

Such as?

Number 1, I can't cook a lick.

Ok, well I will put a toaster right here. You can

operate a toaster can't you?

Well, that brings us to problem number 2.

How is someone without a job going to buy the

bread to make the toast?

Ohhhhh independently wealthy. I see.

I've been saving for this for about 10 years.

Saving?

So you're going to build it all by yourself?

I have a couple friends who will help me out.

I don't do electricity.

I learned that lesson the hard way... still waiting

for it to completely grow back (laughing)

(laughing) You lie.

So I suppose they told you it was all about helping

physicians help patients.

Oh yea. And objectively educating doctors.

It sounded great though.

An interesting worthwhile job with the added

bonus of helping fund my building project.

They just forgot to mention the manipulation,

bribery, the exploitation factor.

Okay, well it's not that bad.

Yea, it's actually worse. It goes all the way back

to the decision of which drugs to research.

Let's see. Do we make more money if we

develop a cure for cancer or develop another

useless drug for sinus infections?

Yea, but what about all the patients who are

helped?

What about all the patients that are hurt?

What about the ignorance of the doctors?

What about the ignorance of the reps?

You know I read this article once (clears throat) by

a physician that reps know just enough to get by.

At first I was really defensive about it. And then I

realized, we are just one sentence away from

complete negligence.

I mean there is just something fundamentally

unethical about tying profit to educating doctors

and helping patients.

Wow.

Wow what?

How can you possibly feel that way about it and

continue doing it.

I need the money.

Don't forget the car.

And the pension plan.

And the stock options.

And integrity and a passion for what you do.

And overall happiness.

There are other jobs out there.

You know your biggest problem isn't the industry,

it's you.

(sigh)

Excuse me Dr. Scott. What is your opinion of

pharmaceutical representatives?

You want to know what I think?

I don't believe a damn thing that comes out of

their mouths.

They'll say anything to push their drugs. Most of

them are dumber than a box of rocks.

Scourge of the Earth.

Glucadox is the most effective drug on the market

for the treatment of diabetes.

We have had a 60% improvement in our

production efficiency. We have the cost of

Glucadox down to 10 cents a pill.

The bottom line is that Glucadox saves lives.

Wow! It looks like Braden-Andrews gave us a

great deal, only 12 bucks a pill on Glucadox.

You cannot put a price tag...

...on the increased quality of life patients will

experience with Glucadox.

Well, I don't have that kind of money.

Don't you have insurance?

I got laid off.

(clapping)

If we can get our top five Festril writers to grow by

...that should move our overall market share by

We'd be in the running for the trip to Greece.

Plus a very nice bonus package.

What about a speaker program at Le Fleur? That

restaurant always brings the doctors in.

Or Green Bay Football tickets with a party bus.

I can take Dr. Scallon and Waters to the spa.

What? I could you a massage and a manicure, as

long as Uncle Andrews is paying.

What do you think Karly?

Bzzzzzzzzzz. (Alarm clock ringing)

Bzzzzzzzzzz. (Alarm clock ringing)

# (whistling... ) I was thinking yesterday...

(singing) You are so tasty.

Love suits you well, missy.

Love? Who said anything about love? I'm

quitting my job.

What did you just say?

Don't get your panties in a bundle. I'm not quitting

today.

I'm quitting October 30th, exactly 6 months from

today.

Good for you girl.

Thank you.

Ok, so why are you quitting?

I can't do it anymore. I just can't. I'm done,

somebody stick a fork in me, because I am done.

I'm done kissing butt, done spinning a bunch of

crap.

I'm done looking for angles, done wining and

dining, done.

D-O-N-E DONE!!!!!! Um-hmmm.

So how the heck are you going to do it for the

next 6 months?

Well, I think for the next 6 months I should just do

what I was hired to do, educate the doctors.

So does Zestran work?

About as well as the others.

Price?

We're more expensive; actually we're almost

double the cost.

Side effects?

Patients won't sh*t for a week.

I see, well then why should I use Zestran?

Because I am going to perfectly straight with you.

You're going to know exactly what your patients

are getting with this drug: The good, the bad, the

ugly.

Not some sugarcoated version with hopes that

you don't know any better.

Fine, but tell me how is Festril different than

Tevaquin?

It's not.

Well, alright then. (laughing)

(laughing)

# Feed your body with rhythm and soul. Step in

the sunshine...

Oh, I'm taking that one. Yea

Yea right, like you can eat all that.

Ohhhhh watch me.

My God.

You know I haven't ever really figured out this

whole grill your own deal. Doesn't it defeat the

purpose of...

...going out to eat and having somebody else

cook for you?

Not if you still like it mooing. Just give me a cow

and a salt shaker and I am one happy camper.

You're like no woman I've ever met.

Is that a compliment?

Sure.

You know I would never have had the balls to do

this, if it wasn't for you.

Well, I'm hoping you still don't have any balls.

(laugh)

Here's to 6 months.

Bzzzzzzzzzz. (Alarm clock ringing)

# I can't wait one minute more...

So you know, just look at the results and you will

see.

What is that?

Chocolate.

(laughing)

Hi, we have turkey or chicken.

Sandwiches, not quite like the good old days, is it

girls?

What the?

(Heavy breathing)

You know if I had another 20 or 30 pounds on me,

I probably could have won with brute force too.

Well, I like a little meat on a girl.

Grace?

Gracie?

Gracie?

What's that matter Gracie?

It's Friday.

Yes it is. Most people are really happy about that.

You know it's Friday, and here I am without a

date... again.

I don't have a date.

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