Sidewalks of New York
So we're going to ask you
a series of questions.
Some will be basic,
biographical questions.
Others will be very personal
about your sexual history.
So that being said,
let's start with telling us...
...when you lost your virginity.
December 5, 1994.
It was my senior year
of high school...
...and I lost it to Danny Rizzo.
My parents had gone away
for the weekend.
We each did about eight shots
of vodka, and then we did it.
Then we threw up
about ten minutes after that, so-
First time I had sex, I was
actually pretty young- 15.
She was a freshman in college.
And it just kinda happened.
I was hanging out with my friends
in the parking lot...
...in front of the A&P,
just drinkin' some beers.
She pulled into the parking lot
in her dad's new Cadillac.
We got to talkin',
and next thing I know...
...we're in the backseat
kinda goin' at it, so-
It was pretty cool 'cause I had
never been in a Cadillac before.
I was a late bloomer.
It was my junior year at college.
I lost it to the woman
I eventually married, Maria.
I really only had sex with one woman
up until that point...
...and that's probably why
I got divorced.
I was only 16...
...and he was much older.
He worked with my mother. My parents
got divorced when I was nine.
He used to come over to the house
for dinners and parties and things.
Then he started coming over when
he knew my mom wouldn't be home.
And then just one thing
kinda led to another.
And before I even knew
what was happening...
with a married man.
When I first had sex?
My dad drove me down...
...from our apartment in the Bronx,
where we lived.
He took me to the Upper East Side
to some high-class whorehouse.
And she said her name
was Cherry Pie.
I always liked that name-
Cherry Pie.
Let's just say I have a very clear
image of her in my mental file.
He was the sweetest guy.
We went to high school together.
We wanted to wait till we
got married- That Catholic thing.
But I wanted to do it
before my 18th birthday.
So we went to this
bed-and-breakfast in Saratoga...
...and we just made love
for three straight days.
Then we went off to college
and promised to be faithful.
And then what happened?
Well, I was faithful
for the first semester...
...and he came back after Christmas
break and told me he was gay.
So I guess he was a little sweeter
than I would've liked.
Okay, wait a second, Sue.
I mean, this is unbel-
You know, I mean, come on!
Where did this come from? How long
have you been thinking about this?
You just drop this on me
all of a sudden today?
- I don't even know-
- Stop. You're stuttering. Okay?
It's over. It's simple. Pack
your sh*t, get out by the weekend.
Seriously,
this is like a shock to me.
I don't know what else you
want me to say. It's simple.
It's not brain surgery.
It's over.
- Have your sh*t out by the weekend.
- You gotta be kidding me.
- I'm not kidding you.
- When did this come about?
Oh, my God. Give me a break.
You know this was inevitable.
If I thought that, I wouldn't have
given up my apartment months ago.
Don't you pin that on me. I didn't
ask you to give up your apartment.
You did ask me to move in with you.
That I didn't f***in' imagine.
- What do you want me to say to you?
- How 'bout a f***in' explanation?
- Is that so much?
- Why do you need an explanation?
Why can't you just see
the writing on the wall?
Why can't I see the writing?
The only thing I see is this ugly
painting that cost me a few grand.
You want the painting?
'Cause you can have the painting.
I don't want the painting.
I got you the painting.
- I don't want it.
- Then what do you want from me?
You know what I want?
I just want you to talk to me.
Just tell me why
you're doin' this.
Where you goin'?
Tell me why you're doing this.
This is comin' out
of left field here.
Do you want kids?
Yeah. You know I want kids.
We've already discussed this.
When?
As soon as you're ready.
Guess what. Not ready.
You ever notice how whenever you
bring up kids, I change the subject?
I don't want them ever!
That was kinda harsh, you know,
because we were talkin'...
...everything- Kids, marriage,
the whole nine.
Then she drops that on me
out of the blue, so-
That was kinda tough, you know?
I told you moving in with her
was a big mistake, didn't I?
I know.
Tommy, you are not
the settling down type of guy.
You're the type that has to be out
there every day makin' it happen.
Forget about
that wife-and-kids crap.
What is that anyway? You take it
from somebody who's been there.
A wife and children
will drive you to an early grave.
Take a look at me, for example.
Take a look at me, baby!
- I know. You're animal.
- I'm an animal!
I am twice as vital
as any married man half my age.
- Ain't that right, sweetheart?
- So you keep telling me.
Tell the kid how many women
I've porked.
Enough to definitely make
every woman sick to her stomach.
- Five hundred, Tommy.
- Come on.
I had sex with 500 different women.
I left them all baying at the moon.
You stick with me, kid, you could
wind up with twice that many.
- So what was the fight about?
- I don't know.
I came home yesterday, everything
seems fine, she's having a sandwich.
Next thing, she's screaming at me,
kicks me out of the apartment.
- She kicked you out?
- It was her place.
Tommy, she kicked you out?
That's unbelievable.
In my day, I would have thrown
her big ass right out the door.
So what do you need? A place
to stay for a couple of weeks?
I can't ask you that. I'll get
a sublet until I find an apartment.
Why don't you go live in a box
in an alley too?
Listen, as long as I'm breathing,
you've got a place to stay.
You stay with me a couple of weeks,
I'll get your head straightened out.
We'll put that romantic idealism
crap to bed once and for all.
But for now, Tommy, I want you
to do yourself a favor.
I want you to go out
and try to get laid.
like a brand-new piece of booty.
Don't listen to him, please.
- The eyes.
- Yeah, I see the eyes!
My name's Tommy Reilly.
I'm 32. From Queens originally.
Are you afraid of getting hurt
in a relationship?
No, you know, I think better
to just go for it, right?
What, you're gonna live your life
in fear of gettin' a broken heart?
to potentially be happy.
You said it's over here?
Are you gonna rent that?
Yeah.
Definitely?
Yeah, definitely. Why?
Just wondering maybe you still
hadn't made up your mind...
...between the two.
- Just holding it in your hands.
- No, definitely.
I'm definitely gonna rent this one.
You want this one?
I came for that one.
It's a great movie.
That's what I heard.
I'll just keep looking.
Sorry.
Oh, hey. How're you doin'?
Good. I was just wondering-
have you seen this?
It's really good.
I mean, it's very different.
I'd love to help you out here,
but I gotta watch this for work.
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"Sidewalks of New York" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 21 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/sidewalks_of_new_york_18109>.
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