Sideways Page #12

MILES:

F*** you.

There's now a rustling noise and footsteps. Then a LIGHT is

flipped on in the BATHROOM.

Miles closes the door behind him, and the only light visible

is at the bottom of the bathroom door.

Miles PEES -- a series of semi-forced SHORT SQUIRTS. Then a

FLUSH as a door opens and the light goes off. Jack starts

BUZZING again.

MILES:

Shut the f*** up!

Jack stops and Miles climbs into bed. Silence. Then --

JACK:

You need to get your prostate checked.

UNDER BLACK --

MONDAY:

EXT. BREAKFAST CAFE - DAY

Establishing.

INT. BREAKFAST CAFE - DAY

Miles and Jack are glancing at the menus. For some reason

Jack is humorless and grumpy.

MILES:

So what're we going to have? Pigs in

a blanket? The "rancher's special

breakfast"? Or maybe just some grease

and fat with a side of lard?

JACK:

(not amused)

So what's the plan today?

MILES:

We head north, begin the grape tour

up there, make our way south so the

more we drink the closer we get to

the motel.

Jack sarcastically taps an index finger to his temple.

MILES:

What's your problem?

Jack exhales and looks away, as though he doesn't want to

get into it.

MILES:

What is it?

Jack sucks his teeth a moment searching for the right words.

Then the dam bursts.

JACK:

I am going to get my nut on this

trip, Miles. And you are not going

to f*** it up for me with all your

depression and anxiety and neg-head

downer sh*t.

MILES:

Ooooh, now the cards are on the table.

JACK:

Yes they are. And I'm serious. Do

not f*** with me. I am going to get

laid before I settle down on Saturday.

Do you read me?

MILES:

Sure, big guy. Whatever you say.

It's your party. I'm sorry I'm in

the way and dragging you down. Maybe

you'd have a better time on your

own. You take the car. I'll catch

the train back.

JACK:

No, see, I want both of us to get

crazy. We should both be cutting

loose. I mean, this is our last

chance. This is our week! It should

be something we share.

The older WAITRESS comes over.

WAITRESS:

Can I take your order?

JACK:

But I am warning you.

MILES:

Oatmeal, one poached egg, and rye

toast. Dry.

WAITRESS:

Okay. And you?

JACK:

(glaring at Miles)

Pigs in a blanket. With extra syrup.

EXT. LOVELY HIGHWAY - DAY

The Saab winds along this beautiful road that meanders through

large open vineyards.

DISSOLVE TO:

INSERT --

A MAP and a MOVING LINE show the boys' route.

DISSOLVE TO:

INSERT --

GRAPES growing on the vine.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. VINEYARD - DAY

Framed by foreground grapevines, the Saab passes in the

distance.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. FOXEN WINERY - DAY

Miles has just downed a taste of red wine.

MILES:

How much skin and stem contact?

POURER:

About four weeks.

MILES:

Huh. That explains all the tannins.

And how long in oak?

POURER:

About a year.

MILES:

French or American?

POURER:

Both.

MILES:

Good stuff.

JACK:

Yeah, oak. That's a good wood.

Just as the pourer turns away toward other TASTERS, Jack

GRABS the bottle and helps himself and Miles to another glass.

They slam back their drinks like tequila.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. LOVELY AREA ON A HILL - DAY

Miles brings the Saab to a stop, and the guys get out. Before

them lies an incredible view of endless vineyards.

MILES:

Nice, huh?

JACK:

Beautiful.

MILES:

Victoria and I used to like this

view.

(lost in nostalgia)

Once we had a picnic here and drank

a '95 Opus One. With smoked salmon

and artichokes, but we didn't care.

JACK:

Miles.

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