Simon Page #5

In terms of my role in general,

I think that...

...though it's only a cog in the wheel...

...we should look at the situation

in the coming months...

I think you're mood upgrading.

- I hope it can go further than that.

- It's not about how you feel.

My father's getting sick and dying.

I'm not going to get sick and

want to talk about that.

Get your feet off my table. Get a job!

- I've got one.

- Get another one.

I don't want to spend the rest

of my life as a bonsai.

Remember the cases in

the Cancer Clinic? It's terrible.

I'd rather get the needle...

...than wear diapers.

Oh, man.

Now, that's really personal.

Only you can decide.

Hey, Woodpecker.

Medical science can do wonders.

But not with what I've got...

That's heavy sh*t.

Officially, it must be a voluntary...

...and well-weighed decision

of your own volition.

And it has to be medically incurable.

Another doctor must approve

your euthanasia.

Samantha, come here.

You'll knock over the shelves and wail.

Tell Sharon what Daddy

bought yesterday.

- Buddha.

- A great big Buddha, right?

Which you can't...

...touch.

It's four feet tall. I said:

"What's it for?"

But he likes it...

The States has

"involuntary euthanasia".

If you're black and another brother

shoots a cop dead, they're like:

"They all look alike anyway..."

- I don't think blacks look alike.

- No?

No. Your black man is plain butt and

butt ugly, but some are good looking.

I know a few sisters, who, well...

What's "ugly"?

Her husband. He's hideous!

He's so hideous he should report to the

Department of Science as the missing link.

Seriously, Simon. Put your hands here.

- Where?

- Wherever you want...

You're so lucky I'm sick.

- Simon, don't sneak out, will you?

- I'm just an old fart.

No way.

Another lesson tomorrow?

Hey, sweetie.

Be careful, all right?

Coming to my G.P. Tomorrow? 9:30.

I'd like that.

- No problem, Simon.

- Cool.

Guitar lessons!

That girl's nineteen.

So what?

My whole class is creaming for him.

Camiel...

You think Simon's scared, deep down?

I've only seen Simon scared once.

In Thailand.

Camiel!

He was standing above a waterfall and

had to jump for a Vietnam film.

He'd never done that before...

Did he jump in the end?

Of course.

What did you think?

How could I know?

This is a safety net to

prevent an impulsive decision.

So you don't ask for a shot

when you're tanked up.

That sounds logical.

Things might improve after a bad time.

Nothing's predictable.

I'm easily tired

since I lost 25 pounds.

It's a strange idea

that I won't be around anymore.

But you weren't around before you were

born and don't remember a thing.

Blaise Pascal, French philosopher:

"Life is a moment between two eternities."

I'm not the only one who says so.

- No. I heard it.

- Just checkin'.

Next week off to Thailand with the kids.

The girl's got a break.

Back to the roots. Maybe

they'll want to stay when I'm gone.

They've got grandparents and cousins.

Might get their Thai blood flowing.

Blood's just a means of transport.

You are where you grew up.

Yours are posh Amsterdam kids.

They're allergic to trees.

Well, they can choose.

They haven't been there in 3 years.

You should come too, Of course.

You and that butt-buddy of yours.

I can't. I have tons of patients.

Thailand?

It's the last time Simon can go

and he wants me to join him.

Why don't you go to Thailand?

- What was that?

- He's got too much work.

Well, suit yourself.

- I have ways of changing his mind.

- You sh*t!

Jesus! Idiot!

I'm not wrestling pythons and one beetle

longer than my prick and I'm gone.

Joan Collins takes less baggage

when she emigrates.

If it's a loin-cloth vacation,

I'll just take three thongs.

- Behave yourself there!

- Sure. Tolerance is my trademark.

I said you're getting hitched.

They think my Thai's

got worse or something.

Don't explain it to them.

I'm feeling a little queer...

The coconut milk and Mekong whiskey

can ferment strangely.

Just chuck it up.

I'm not a hard-core puker. It's scary.

Gays are scared of everything.

You want to keep it down?

Stray dogs think it's

a three-star dinner.

They stick their tongues in

and slurp, slurp.

It's a pity he's not here.

I checked on him twice

and he's in a coma.

He can't take much.

No, that's not true.

Is that a Schweizerstein?

- Yes. Bought it at Dubai airport.

- Bram has one, but chrome.

Sure. Fell off a Taiwanese truck?

Hey, there's Bram!

If that's Bram, he's looking better.

Thanks. I'm Gisela.

Are you German?

No, thank God!

How's your beer?

Cooly-mooly...

imitates German soccer commentator

I'm going to go give my curly kid

a Thai message with a "Happy Ending".

Sicko.

Auf wiedersehen!

- Keep watch on your father.

- Sure.

- Kiss! Joy want kiss!

- And your drunken sister.

When's the wedding?

Well... April...

we think early April.

So I'll plan my thing in about May.

You can't just plan that.

Who knows how long you'll be okay?

Every week counts.

The hospital said I'd lose

vital functions within 3 months.

- Who knows how long?

- I'd prefer to be a step ahead.

A football player quits

while he's ahead.

If you plan late April,

then I'll go for mid-May.

Sorry, Simon.

I'd rather not link the two.

What?! So my wedding day

fixes the day you die?

Use your fists!

Your fists!

Kids never listen.

Ganz nicht ubel.

Gar nicht ubel.

And in Dutch?

Not bad.

- We're not so important anymore.

- Really!

You're just like Simon

with your boyfriends.

- No I'm not.

- You are, chalkboard.

- Stay out of the hut.

- Who says?

I do!

This is really funny...

Remember Ellen?

- You know why she has one eye?

- A Turk came in it.

- Tunisian.

- A Turk.

I bet you 10 euros.

Hand it over. I know he was Tunisian.

Up the tree, phoney Thai.

You saw how it's done.

Go grab a coconut for your old man.

Show me the Thai in your blood!

Yeah, whatever.

It's so strange for me to see your

father in such a good mood...

...knowing that he'll be gone by May 10.

What do you mean, May 10?

That is when he's going to...

I thought you already...

May 10 - that's three months!

That doesn't mean that it'll happen.

He might still feel fine then.

- Once Simon sets his mind to it...

- Of course not.

Simon wants to stay with us.

Especially you...

...and your ugly brother.

He told that stupid b*tch first.

I wouldn't make an issue out of it.

That's not the point.

Let's not make tissues over it.

No, let's not make tissues!

No euthanasia.

- Keine...

- I understood you.

More time would just

make it easier for me...

...and Nelson as well.

So if Simon...

...was less Simon as he gets sicker...

...it'd be easier for you

because it'd be in stages.

Less hard.

Less sudden.

Maybe.

Simon! Your breakfast.

We're landing in an hour and a half.

Not quite awake yet?

I'm not feeling so spic and span.

You want something to eat?

I need to think about it.

Don't eat airline food. Almost home.

We'll get a snack from the bakery.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes