SiREN

---

Sheriff Boone.

They said

you were the one to call.

What are they?

Cultists?

Satanists?

Amateurs.

Sherriff,

I need your light.

What are you doing?

No wonder

this didn't work.

What didn't work?

Well, they summoned

something,

but they couldn't hold it.

Light, Sheriff.

Light!

Well,

that's not good.

Who are you?

It's all right.

It's all right.

Come here.

Oh.

Well, you are

something special.

Those idiots didn't know

what to do with you, did they?

That's all right.

It's okay.

I know all about you.

I know

where you're from.

I know

what you need.

Mayl show you something?

Don't be scared.

Here.

A pretty crown

for a pretty princess.

Hmm?

I want to help you

because you are perfect.

There.

Now we can be friends.

Tell me what you want.

You know what I want.

Say it.

Look at me.

Look at me, slut.

I'm sorry,

I'm sorry.

It's fine. Whatever.

Oh, no. God.

I'm sorry, no.

No, no, no. Hey.

Hey, it's cool,

it's fine.

No... "Slut" is cool.

Slut, I can do slut...

Slut.

Okay, ready?

I don't know. Okay.

Take two.

Okay.

No, no, no.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Just... It's like...

Like, this is why we can't

role play, you know?

'Cause, like, am I

supposed to be me

or am I supposed to be...

Yeah, you're you.

And you're

like a slut, right?

No, right?

Sorry, I don't know.

God, can't we just be

Jonah and Eva?

Eva's who I want.

I know.

I just wanted to make sure you

remember that this weekend.

I will.

Of course I will.

You know I want you

to have fun, I do,

and strippers

are one thing...

Who said anything

about strippers?

I did and I say

they're fine.

Get some ones,

some fives,

put a few girls through

college, everybody wins.

Just stay away from the

seedy dives, yeah.

The seedy dives?

You know, the ones where the girls

don't really want to be there.

Oh, God. Eva, no, I'm not

into that kind of stuff.

You know me.

I do.

I also know your brother.

Heads up, pussies!

We gotta lay down some

ground rules, all right?

Rule number one, no texting or

calling girlfriends slash fiances

once we make landfall, all right?

This is dude time.

We don't want anything getting

back to the bride-to-be.

All right? I've seen that

sh*t happen and it's brutal.

Yo, ear buds out.

Oh, what's up?

Come on, man.

All right,

matter of fact,

everyone give me

their cell phones.

All right?

Hey, watch the road.

I got it, I got it, relax.

Please don't kill me.

Relax, all right?

I don't want you guys

sending out any damn tweets,

get my main man

in trouble over here

while he's trying

to get his freak on.

All right,

rule number two.

We say "yes".

We don't say "maybe",

we don't say, "Gee, I don't know.

I've never..."

And we damn sure

don't say "no".

We say "yes"

to living

and "yes"

to living it up!

Do you feel me?

Yes!

Yes!

"Gee, I don't know, I've

never..."

That's it.

Whatever happened

to Vegas?

Vegas is sh*t, man.

It's hot as balls and it

smells like hot balls.

Trust me. Garden City

is where we want to be.

See that?

That's the spot.

The hottest place

on the East Coast, baby!

Let's light this up!

Woo-hoo!

This place sucks.

Uh, no, it's...

It's okay.

She's wearing flip-flops.

I almost forgot.

Um, I got some groomsmen's

gifts for you guys.

What?

Thanks for coming.

Such a Boy Scout.

Love you.

Classic Jonah.

Always prepared.

Oh, cool, you hate 'em.

No, we don't.

Yeah, you do.

No.

No, you never know

when you need to

open a {my

home oi beer.

Stop. You know what? We love them.

Thank you, Jonah.

Don't we?

I love it, Jonah.

Let's drink

till they're hot.

I know, man.

It should've been you.

What? No.

Hey, look, Iwouldn't

want the responsibility.

No, I want you

to have it, man.

You are my best man.

You are.

See, like, this is

the difference, like,

when I tell you that I had to

pick Mac over you, you get it,

but if I were to tell him, like,

"I'm picking you over my brother,"

he'd just never let it go.

Look, it's fine. Who cares?

How are you feeling?

You ready

for next week?

Oh, yeah. I feel great.

I mean, I'm not nervous, but then

that kind of makes me nervous,

you know what I mean?

Does that make sense?

It's gonna be fine,

buddy.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Hey, big boy.

Hi.

How about a dance? Oh. You know what?

He would love one.

I got it.

Okay.

Enjoy, my man.

Thank you.

Oh, here?

Yeah, it's just kind of like I'm not

really feeling anything right now,

but I feel like I should be

feeling something, you know?

I guess so. Yeah.

Like, what if I'm

actually really nervous,

but I put, like, all my

emotions on mute or something

just so I can

get through it,

and I wake up in like a year or a

month or something and I realize

that I'm trapped and I

just totally freak out?

No way, man.

Eva is awesome.

Yeah.

It's gonna be great.

Yeah. You two are

perfect for each other.

She's the best. It's...

Yeah, it's disgusting.

Yeah, I love her.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

It's alcohol abuse, dude.

Don't spill it.

Yo, brother,

it's declined.

All right.

Use that one.

I'll take another one.

Bullshit, isn't it?

Excuse me?

The club.

I can read it

on your face.

Yeah? Well,

stop reading my face.

Sorry. It's just...

You hear all these stories

about Garden City,

it's supposed to be the greatest

underground party scene.

Well, there's nothing here

I couldn't see in Tampa.

My baby brother's getting married

next week and I'm the best man,

and I have to deliver.

I hear ya.

Look, I know a place.

I'm talking... A place.

This thing is dripping with

p*ssy, the music's amazing.

The vibe.

Makes this place look like

f***ing Sunday school.

I can probably get you in.

But only if you

and your boys are serious.

Or you can stay here,

drink that bottle,

go home and pass out,

and in your drunken dreams, maybe

come close to the things I've seen.

A toast to Jonah.

All right?

Man of the hour,

and lamb

for the slaughter.

He's younger than me,

he's less handsome,

much thinner penis...

That's not true.

Don't interrupt.

It's not.

But in spite of all that,

you're moving on up, man.

And you're marrying up.

God, she's got money.

You're surpassing me, bro.

You're making

an honest woman out of Eva,

and a man out of yourself.

Cheers.

Mmm. Mmm.

Thank you, bro.

Yes, sir.

And that concludes

opening ceremonies.

What?

Oh, ho, ho, ho.

Oh, no, no, no.

No.

Here you go.

That's for you.

Shrooms.

Yup.

Like an old friend.

Here you go.

Thank you, sir.

Yup.

Wow.

Mmm.

See this Wyatt Earp son of a b*tch

over here at the end of the bar?

Says he can show us

to the real Garden City.

That guy?

There's this club, man.

It's very underground.

He's going there now

and he says we can follow him.

Uh, no.

We don't say "no".

Rule number two, no "no's".

Rule number four...

Always trust a dude with a dick

duster on his face like that, man.

It's a con.

You think so?

Yes.

Then we vote.

Look, if you guys came here with a

matching set of sack, all right,

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