Sister Act Page #12

CHRISTY:

(getting fed up)

Yeah, you learned a whole lot, I can

tell.

LAWANDA:

Well, what would you know about it,

anyway? What do any of you nunheads know

about anything? About doin' the nasty,

or gettin' high?

CONCHITA:

Leave her alone, Lawanda, she's just

some ol' nun! Don't pick on no nun, it's

bad luck!

Page 40.

CHRISTY:

(fed up)

Shut up!

All the Girls look up, stunned by Christy's language.

CHRISTY:

Okay, so maybe I'm a nun -- so, you want

to ask me something? You want to listen,

for once in your little lives? You want

to pay some attention?

CHARLENE:

What about crack? You a user?

CHRISTY:

I said I was a nun, not an a**hole.

All the girls jeer at Charlene.

KESHIA:

Got you, Charlene!

CONCHITA:

Dunked by the nun!

LAWANDA:

(more sincerely)

Well, what about the sex stuff? What if

some dude is after you, and he's always

saying stuff, commin' on sweet and

mellow. Like, oh, baby, you know you'll

love it. Oh, baby, if you loved me,

you'd stay.

CHRISTY:

And you listen to that?

LAWANDA:

No, but... I don't know... sometimes.

CHRISTY:

Hey, I know, it's hard. But do what I

do.

LAWANDA:

(puzzled)

What you do?

CHRISTY:

Just tell him, I do love you, but I

can't -- I'm a nun.

The girls all laugh; they are really beginning to like

Christy.

Page 41.

CHARLENE:

But, like what if you are doin' it? What

about protection? Who's responsible?

CONCHITA:

What about them things, you know, for

the guy? Aren't they like, a mess to put

on? Don't they kinda mess up the mood?

CHRISTY:

Deal with it, sweet thing. It's

important, nowadays. You just practice

at home, with a balloon and a banana.

MOTHER SUPERIOR (0.S.)

Mary Clarence!

Mother Superior has returned, with Mary Patrick. Everyone

has been so wrapped up in the discussion, that no one has

noticed their entrance.

CHRISTY:

(thinking on her feet)

Because a banana is part of a balanced

breakfast. And don't forget fiber.

INT. MOTHER SUPERIOR'S OFFICE - LATER THAT DAY

Mother Superior is seated behind her desk; she is very

angry. Christy sits across from her.

MOTHER SUPERIOR:

A balloon and a banana! Tell me, Mary

Clarence, what were you thinking?

CHRISTY:

Those girls were asking questions.

They've got it rough. I wish somebody

had talked to me about that stuff when

was their age. I wish somebody would

talk to me about it now.

MOTHER SUPERIOR:

This is a convent, not a clinic. We

offer moral guidance, not hardware.

CHRISTY:

Have you been out in those streets? Do

you know what those kids are up against?

You should help them!

MOTHER SUPERIOR:

We are nuns. We seek solutions through

prayer.

Page 42.

CHRISTY:

Sometimes it's not enough!

MOTHER SUPERIOR:

You are correct. Sometimes prayer alone

cannot help a situation. Such as your

own, for example. How do you feel about

physical labor?

CHRISTY:

It never solves anything.

MOTHER SUPERIOR:

Do your recall the words of Saint Peter,

in Ecciesiastes 1:27? He spoke unto a

wastrel youth. He said, "Take up thy

task, and know ye the path of

contentment."

CHRISTY:

In English?

MOTHER SUPERIOR:

How to put it... ah, Of course, Mary

Clarence. "No pain, no gain."

Mother Superior smiles in a rather evil manner.

INT. VINCE'S OFFICE - DAY

Vince is on the telephone in his office at the Moonlight

Hotel and Casino. He clearly has a new mistress or two.

VINCE:

(very seductive)

Baby, you know I do... of course... I

feel it too... I'm blushing... can you

hold?

A second telephone RINGS, and Willy answers it. Vince

meanwhile has pushed a button on his phone and is involved

in a second romantic call.

VINCE:

Soon, you gorgeous thing... tell me...

how lonely?

WILLY:

It's that call you were expecting,

Vince.

VINCE:

Can you hold? Can you try?

Willy passes the phone to Vince. t

Page 43

VINCE:

Have you found out where Christy is yet?

Hey, bozo, you re on my payroll! You want

to try making it on a cop's salary? Find

her, and find her now!

Vince passes the phone back to Willy.

VINCE:

Raise the ante to three hundred grand.

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