Sister Act Page #17

The door opens and Eddie emerges from the office.

CHRISTY:

What'd she say?

EDDIE:

You blew it -- big time. She doesn't

want you back.

CHRISTY:

Does she know people are trying to kill

me out there?

EDDIE:

She's counting on it. She's concerned

for your safety, but she wants me to try

and find another convent that will take

you. Or a carnival.

CHRISTY:

So what am I supposed to do in the

meantime?

EDDIE:

Go in and talk to her. It can't hurt.

(urging her)

Go.

Reluctantly, Christy rises and approaches the door. She

looks at Eddie, who motions her to go in. She finally

does.

INT. MOTHER SUPERIOR'S OFFICE

Mother Superior is working on some papers at her desk as

Christy enters. Christy is trying to figure out a

strategy.

CHRISTY:

So... hi there.

MOTHER SUPERIOR:

(not amused and not

looking up)

I don't believe we have anything to say

to each other.

CHRISTY:

Look... I know I shouldn't have, I'm

incredibly sorry about Mary Robert, I

wasn't thinking, I didn't know that would

happen!

Page 58.

Mother Superior glances up from her work. She is

justifiably outraged.

MOTHER SUPERIOR:

Mary Robert's life was in danger! Your

behavior was inexcusable!

CHRISTY:

I know! I'm sorry I didn't mean for

it to happen! And I was the one they

were shooting at!

MOTHER SUPERIOR:

Mary Clarence, I have given you every

opportunity. To change. To make a

decent life for yourself.

CHRISTY:

A decent life? Excuse me? As what? A

janitor?

MOTHER SUPERIOR:

Clearly, you have learned nothing. And

you present an ongoing threat, both to

this convent and to yourself.

CHRISTY:

But you can't kick me out! Guys want to

kill me! You're a nun! A big nun!

Aren't you supposed to have compassion?

For the wayward sheep? I mean, I'm a

major sinner! All-time great! Hall of

Fame! Aren't I, like, your dream come

true? Your Olympic event?

Mother Superior stares at Christy.

MOTHER SUPERIOR:

Mary Clarence, perhaps you are correct.

CHRISTY:

(surprised)

I am?

MOTHER SUPERIOR:

You may stay. But I shall restrict your

activities to but a single task.

CHRISTY:

(with great dread)

What?

MOTHER SUPERIOR:

You have, I believe, some minimal

background in music. Therefore, you are

to join our choir.

(MORE)

Page 59

MOTHER SUPERIOR (CONT'D)

You will sing, and you will sleep,' that

is your schedule until you depart. As

almost no one attends Mass, you will be

unable to cause further damage.

CHRISTY:

No. No.

MOTHER SUPERIOR:

(smiling)

You're my Olympic event.

CHRISTY:

Not the choir, please, anything but

that. The choir -- I mean, have you

heard them? I'll do anything, scrub

floors, toilets, you name it, but not

that I

MOTHER SUPERIOR:

(in triumph)

The choir, Mary Clarence. Go for the

gold.

INT. CHOIR REHEARSAL ROOM - THAT DAY

There are twelve nuns in the room, going over sheet music.

Mary Lazarus is the group's leader; Mary Patrick and Mary

Robert are also in the choir. Christy appears at the door,

grimacing.

CHRISTY:

Is this... choir practice?

MARY PATRICK:

Sure is! Come on in, and sing a spell.

Christy spots Mary Robert.

CHRISTY:

Mary Robert, I am so sorry about last

night...

MARY ROBERT:

Now stop that. You didn't shoot at me.

You were only trying to help, to give me

experience. I tried to explain that to

Reverend Mother, but -- I don't know if

she understood.

Mary Lazarus cuts off this chitchat, thrusting a hymnal at

Christy.

MARY LAZARUS:

Soprano or alto?

CHRISTY:

(very gloomy)

Whatever.

Page 60.

Mary Lazarus hands Christy a hymnal, and raps her baton.

The choir begins to sing; Christy doesn't even bother

trying. She is horrified; the choir is the worst-sounding

group in history. They seem to be singing in several

random keys, and they even have trouble with the words. No

one looks up from their hymnals. Sister Alma, the organist

with the hearing aid, is plodding along.

INT. BLUE COLLAR BAR - DAY

Mike the bartender is taking chairs off tables and setting

them on the floor as Joey and Willy enter.

JOEY:

We're looking for Mike.

MIKE:

You found him -- but we're not open yet.

Willy grabs Mike's arms and bends them behind his back.

MIKE:

Hey -- the till's empty!

Willy slams Mike's face into the wall, stunning him. Joey

lifts Mike's groggy face and offers sympathy.

JOEY:

I'm sorry -- I don't know what gets into

him.

Rate this script:4.3 / 3 votes