Sister Act Page #18

MIKE:

Who are you guys?

JOEY:

We're the guys from Vegas. You had

Christy last night, but you let her get

away. It's upsetting.

Willy hammers Mike's face into the wall again.

MIKE:

But you didn't tell me!

JOEY:

We didn't tell you what?

MIKE:

That she's a nun! That chick you're

looking for -- she's a nun!

WILLY:

What? Christy?

Page 61.

JOEY:

A nun?

MIKE:

I'm telling you!

Willy and Joey look at each other, and consider this.

Then they burst out laughing. They refuse to believe

Mike's story.

WILLY:

Gimme a hand here.

Willy and Joey pick Mike up, and hurl him over the bar.

Then they exit, still laughing.

JOEY:

A nun!

INT. CHOIR REHEARSAL ROOM - DAY

The choir continues its dreadful rendition of the hymn

Let Thy Thoughts He Guided. Christy is not singing; she

is clearly in pain. Mary Lazarus stops the song. One of

the nuns has to nudge Sister Alma to stop her playing.

MARY LAZARUS:

Mary Clarence, are you with us?

CHRISTY:

Um, I don't really know this one...

MARY ROBERT:

Mary Clarence has a background in music.

That's what Reverend Mother said.

MARY PATRICK:

(eagerly)

Really, Mary Clarence? Were you a

choirmistress?

CHRISTY:

Sure. Kind of... free-lance.

MARY LAZARUS:

(circling Christy)

Free-lance? Oh really? You think I

don't see? You think I took vows

yesterday? I know what you're up to. You

and Reverend Mother.

CHRISTY:

What?

MARY LAZARUS:

You're a ringer. She brought you in to

replace me. Out with the old.

Page 62.

CHRISTY:

Hold on.

MARY PATRICK:

Mary Clarence, could you? Mary Lazarus,

you're terrific, but...

(to Christy)

Could you help us?

ANOTHER NUN:

Please?

ANOTHER NUN:

You've heard us.

MARY LAZARUS:

Well.

Everyone falls silent. Mary Lazarus walks across the

room, eyeballing each member of the choir.

MARY LAZARUS:

There's a word for this -- mutiny.

(to Christy)

So, Mary Clarence, you think you can do

better. I believe I'd like to see that.

(she hands Christy her

pitchpipe and baton)

I'm out to pasture. Dry dock. The glue

factory. Go ahead, Sister -- make 'em

sing.

Everyone watches Christy.

CHRISTY:

Well...

(to Nary Lazarus)

With all due respect... let's have a

look at this.

Christy goes over to the piano. She examines the sheet

music for "Let They Thoughts He Guided." She sits at the

piano, beside Sister Alma. Christy picks out the hymn on

the piano, accompanying herself.

CHRISTY:

LET THY THOUGHTS BE GUIDED

LET THY SOUL BE HEALED

Christy's singing voice is, as usual, not very good. She

stops singing. For perhaps the first time in her life, she

has really heard herself.

CHRISTY:

Man. I sound like you guys.

Page 63.

MARY LAZARUS:

(victorious)

Very nice. Sisters, have we learned our

lesson? I won't hold this little episode

against anyone. I'll try not to.

CHRISTY:

(standing)

Mary Robert.

Mary Robert jumps, startled by the attention.

MARY ROBERT:

What?

CHRISTY:

Mary Robert, I've watched you. You

never really sing. You whisper. Nothing

comes out.

MARY ROBERT:

I don't want to mess anyone up...

CHRISTY:

(to Sister Alma)

Give me a C.

(because Sister Alma

is hard of hearing)

A C!

Sister Alma plays the note. Christy points the baton at

Mary Robert. Mary Robert whispers the note.

CHRISTY:

Louder! Like you're onstage.

Mary Robert sings a little louder.

CHRISTY:

Like people are eating, and there's

silverware, and you want them to hear

you.

Mary Robert sings louder still.

CHRISTY:

Think about that guy you were dancing

with!

Mary Robert finally lets out her full voice, which is huge

and glorious. After singing a single perfect note, she

stops abruptly; she has scared herself.

MARY ROBERT:

Oh my!

Page 64.

CHRISTY:

You see? We've got the voices. They're

just allover the place. I've heard all of

you, in the shower --you're decent.

Better than me. We just need charts --

harmony -- chops.

MARY PATRICK:

(puzzled)

Chops?

CHRISTY:

The goods. The sound. The sale. Let's

rearrange a few things. Mary Patrick,

you re not a natural soprano, you're an

alto. Get over here. Mary Robert --with

the sopranos.

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