Sitting Pretty Page #3

but after that Ginger episode...

I put an ad in the Saturday review,

and I've got a wonderful answer.

Ad for what? A babysitter,

darling. A resident babysitter.

Oh, you're crazy. I knew you'd say

that. That's why I didn't tell you.

Listen to what I put in:

"Somewhere there must be

a struggling young person...

"Who would welcome a delightful

room, private bath, full board...

"In exchange for sitting with three

adorable children evenings...

"And some light housework.

Congenial, cultured atmosphere.

Write fully:
Box 2301."

Aren't you stretching things a

bit, calling our three "adorable"?

Well, anyway, it seems to have

snared her. This is her answer.

"Dear sir or madam, if not too late, I wish

to apply for the position you advertised.

"I am engaged in a form of work which

makes me indifferent to my surroundings,

"providing I have a place

in which I can find solitude.

"I have studied psychology and am perfectly

competent to handle children of all ages...

"With efficiency and dispatch.

Yours sincerely,

Lynn Belvedere. "

don't you think

she sounds marvelous?

Well, she writes a short, businesslike

letter, yes, but what do we know about her?

Well, anyway,

I'm going to follow this up.

Okay, go ahead.

What can you lose?

See you tonight.

Bye, honey.

[ Sighs ]

That looks good.

Quit that.

Did you get it out?

Sure.

It hardly shows now.

If you kids let that dog in this

house again, I'll wallop both of you.

Okay, okay.

Tacey?

Hey!

Where is everybody?

[ Tacey ] We're up in the

maid's room! Come on up!

I can't. There's a chair in

the way. I know. It's stuck.

don't be so helpless.

Climb over it.

Tony, would you

leave that alone!

Look, boys, will you go downstairs

and bring up that thing I told you.

Okay.

Hi!

Hello.

Hello, darling.

Hi.

Did you have a nice earthquake? Oh,

we've been as busy as little beavers.

Isn't it wonderful? She's coming! Who?

Miss Belvedere.

Huh?

The babysitter who wrote this morning. Oh.

I decided not to waste

another moment,

so I sent her a long, straight

wire giving her all the dope...

And she wired back, and I wired

again, and this is what I got:

"Conditions acceptable. Arriving 9:35

tonight, union depot. Lynn Belvedere. "

[ Larry ] Hey, mom, pop! Give us a hand!

Come on.

Make yourself useful.

Hurry up! This thing's

heavy! [ Tony ] Mine too!

All right, boys, put them down

until daddy moves the chair.

You mind telling daddy where

his favorite chair is going?

Well, darling, she does have to

have something comfortable to sit on.

And you're taking Nero up so she'll

have an intellectual to talk to.

Right.

[ Chuckles ]

In my ad I said that ours was

a cultured, educated background.

It won't do the girl any harm to find

out that at least isused to be a sculptor.

Yes, dear.

Besides, that'll take the curse off my

being a low, uncouth, struggling attorney.

Mm-hmm. But you aren't struggling

very intelligently right now.

It won't work, darling.

I tried it for hours.

Stop giving orders and push.

I'll get this thing out of here.

You kids get back

out of the way.

Now, one great big push.

[ Loud grunt ]

[ Tacey, boys laughing ]

Hey!

Do something, will ya!

I can't imagine

what's keeping them.

Maybe the train was late.

They usually are.

Would you pick those

cushions up for me?

I told those kids to stay out

of there. [ Phone ringing ]

Hello?

Oh, bill, it's you.

Yes, she's here.

Edna, it's bill.

Oh?

Hello, sweetie.

No.

No sign of them yet.

We're beginning to suspect that Harry took

her to a bar to get her plastered first.

Well, don't stay over there too late. I

have to get an early start in the morning.

Yes, I'll be home the minute she

arrives with a blow-by-blow description.

Good-bye.

[ Doorbell buzzes ]

Maybe that's them.

But it can't be.

Harry's got his key.

Yes? Mrs. King?

Mrs. Harry King?

Yes.

Uh, good evening.

I am Lynn Belvedere.

You're who?

Lynn Belvedere.

But...

but you can't be.

Why not? Have you ever

seen me before? No.

No, of course I haven't.

Very well then.

How do you do?

Edna, this man claims

that he's Lynn Belvedere.

[ Laughing ] I know. Edna, please.

I'm sorry.

This is my friend, Mrs. Philby.

Oh, she doesn't live here.

Delighted.

This is quite a shock.

You see...

well, we weren't

expecting a...

[ chuckles ] Well, I naturally

thought you were a woman.

You know.

Your advertisement, of which I have a

copy here, made no mention of sex.

Possibly not, but it

was obviously implied.

I advertised for someone to help with

the housework and sit with my children.

Mrs. King, I happen to dislike

all children intensely.

But I assure you that

I can readily attend...

To their necessary,

though unpleasant wants.

Sorry. I've just had a long and

very trying journey in a day coach.

May I see my room?

Well, I...

look here, Mr. Belvedere, you're

obviously here under false pretenses.

To the contrary.

If some young female arrived

calling herself Lynn Belvedere,

she would be here

under false pretenses.

May I please see my room?

But... but my husband

isn't home yet.

That, if I may say so, is a matter

of complete indifference to me.

I take it you are not retaining

my services to sit with him.

Now, may I see my room?

Why... well...

I-I guess so.

Um, I-it's upstairs.

Good evening.

Boys, what are you doing up?

Go back to sleep.

Is he a babysitter?

Gee whiz!

Never mind now.

Go to bed.

Oh, uh, these are my sons,

Larry and Tony.

And the baby's asleep.

Mom, why is it a man?

Shh-shh-shh.

Uh, you see, Mr. Belvedere, they also

thought that you were going to be a...

well, anyway, they seem to

be quite fascinated by you.

The fascination, I assure

you, is not mutual.

Which way, please?

Oh.

[ Whispers ]

Go to bed.

Gee whiz!

We, uh, tried to fix it

up as nicely as we could.

I hope you like it.

After the obvious

eliminations have been made,

I believe it will be

entirely satisfactory.

For my work I require an

atmosphere of spartan simplicity.

And may I ask

what your profession is?

Certainly.

I am a genius.

Satisfactory?

Eminently,

as far as I can judge.

At the moment.

With this exception.

I'll change it.

[ Door closes ]

[ Laughing ]

Oh, brother!

What am I going to do?

[ Door lock clicks ] Oh! It's Harry!

Oh, hello, dear.

You back?

Back? You and your

cockeyed classified ad.

She never even showed up.

I hung around the station till the

Porter practically threw me out.

Darling, I've got

something to tell you.

Uh...

[ Laughing ]

While you were gone...

what's so funny?

Go on!

Tell him!

Well...

I'm afraid to! He'll

kill me! Oh, shut up!

Mrs. King.

Before I retire for the night, may I

inquire what time you serve breakfast?

Um... uh...

about 7:
30, usually.

Thank you.

Perhaps I should tell you

I'm a vegetarian.

I like fruit juice, coffee...

And thinly sliced

gluten bread, toasted.

I'll, uh, try to remember.

Thank you.

Good night.

Who in the heck was that?

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