Sitting Pretty Page #4

That, darling,

is Lynn Belvedere.

Huh?

[ Tacey, Edna laughing ]

[ Laughing, babbling ]

Now, Larry, that's enough sugar.

Aw, mom!

Do you want to get

another toothache?

Harry, will you please put down

that paper and talk to me?

Well, what's the... what are we

going to do about Mr. Belvedere?

Very simple.

As soon as he deigns to join us for

breakfast, I'm going to kick him out...

Right on his ear.

I guess you're right. But you'll

have to tell him. He scares me.

I think he's kinda cute.

Me too.

Well, I don't!

And genius or no genius, I'm going up and

tell him to get down here to breakfast.

I'll go with you. You boys sit

down and finish your breakfast.

[ Roddy laughing ]

Roddy!

For crying out loud!

Well, he's got a nerve!

Well, what's the difference?

He's going anyway.

There's not a sound.

He's probably still asleep.

Mr. Belvedere!

Maybe he's gone.

I hope so.

Ah.

Good morning.

Oh, uh, we're sorry to dash in on

you like this, but we did knock.

I don't doubt it,

Mrs. King.

When I practice my yoga, I'm completely out

of this world. I neither see nor hear a thing.

I take it breakfast is ready?

Yes, and the sooner

you come down, the sooner...

I'll be with you in a minute, Mr. King.

Now, look here, you,

I'm not...

it's no use, dear. He's out

of this world. He told you.

Oh, that's so sil...

I never heard of such a thing.

[ Babbling ]

don't do that, little boy.

Leave Mr. Belvedere alone,

darling.

Uh, you should be flattered.

He hates strangers as a rule.

[ Coos ]

Now, look here,

Mr. Belvedere.

A joke is a joke,

but this can't go on.

And why not,

Mr. King?

I'm perfectly willing to carry

out my end of our agreement.

I see no reason why you

should default on yours.

But it's obviously impossible.

You couldn't do

the things we require.

For instance,

could you bathe Roddy?

For many years, I have successfully

bathed individuals of all ages and sexes,

and I've never had

any complaints.

[ Babbling ]

don't do that again.

That's enough, Roddy.

Now, stop it.

My wife tells me that, uh,

you're a genius.

That is correct.

Well, if I'm not

too inquisitive,

do you mind telling me

what form it takes?

I am, in my way, a philosopher.

Oh, I see.

You just sit and think.

Mr. King, if more people

just sat and thought,

the world might not be in the

stinking mess that it is.

Well, maybe you've

got something there.

But, Mr. Belvedere, can you

really handle children?

[ Babbles ]

Mrs. King, as I told you last night,

I dislike children intensely,

and yours, if I may say so,

have peculiarly repulsive

habits and manners.

However, I assure you I can

cope with them successfully,

if given a free hand.

[ Sneezes ]

Gesundheit.

[ Clears throat ]

I better get down to the office.

So long, kids. I'll see

you tonight. Bye, pop.

Bye. Walk out to the

car with me, will you?

Uh, excuse me.

Certainly.

You will remain seated.

Now eat your breakfast, and

chew each mouthful 28 times.

Not 20, mind you, or 26,

but 28 times.

[ Squealing, giggling ]

Well, I don't know.

What do you think?

Should we give the guy

a whirl for a day or two?

We can try. At least the

children seem to like him.

[ Roddy screams, crying ]

What's the matter? What

happened? Why, Roddy!

Mrs. King, throughout this grisly meal,

your son has been pelting me with cereal.

I've taught him

an object lesson,

and, as you will observe,

he doesn't like it.

I guarantee he will never throw cereal

at me or anyone else again ever.

[ Roddy crying ]

Mr. Belvedere,

consider yourself hired.

He's done that to me too.

You've got something.

I couldn't agree

with you more, Mr. King.

You might even say

I have everything.

[ Tony ]

Look, Larry. I'm up.

Hi!

What goes with you two?

Mr. Belvedere taught us.

It's "yogi. "

Feels swell.

He says it relaxes you.

[ Chuckles ] Just be careful you don't

relax so much you break your necks.

We won't.

[ Sniffs, sighs ]

[ Humming ]

Hi, baby.

Everything under control?

Hello, darling!

Oh, Harry, he's wonderful! Terrific!

He must be. He's already got

the kids standing on their heads.

They love him. They've been as

good as gold all day. No kidding?

They ate their lunch

without a single argument.

He gave Roddy a bath, and there

wasn't a peep out of him.

And look! The icebox... he's fixed it.

It's been on the blink for days.

Well, I'll be...

[ Creaking ]

What's the matter with Henry?

Is he sick? No, darling.

It seems that Mr. Belvedere used

to be a dog trainer or something.

He had a long talk with Henry this morning,

and ever since Henry has been quiet as a mouse.

Isn't it wonderful?

Sounds like a treasure.

Oh, he is!

And in addition

to everything else,

he makes the most divine

combination salad you ever tasted.

Looks delicious.

There's just one thing...

he's sort of mysterious.

How do you mean?

[ Whispering ] Well, three times

today, when he finished his chores,

he went upstairs and locked

himself in his room.

I heard the lock click. I went up and

listened, but I couldn't hear a sound.

What do you suppose

he does up there?

[ Whispering ] Maybe he stands on his

head. That doesn't make much noise.

Oh!

Is he up there now?

No. He's out

taking his constitutional.

[ Aloud ]

Then why are we whispering?

[ Laughing ]

Oh, I forgot.

He says he goes out for a constitutional

every night before dinner.

[ Chuckles ]

I gave him a key to his room, but he

doesn't know that I've got an extra one.

Would it be very unethical

if... it most certainly would.

Let's go.

It turns all right,

but nothing happens.

Here, clumsy.

Let me do it.

You sure that's the right key?

Yes, of course it is.

That's funny.

It doesn't work.

You're wasting your time,

Mrs. King.

Hello.

Good evening.

Knowing human nature as I do,

I suspected that you

might try to snoop.

This is a new lock.

But it can't be. I didn't order

a locksmith. It wasn't necessary.

I am an expert locksmith.

[ Sighs ]

I don't know, darling.

He may be all right, but let's

face it... he is a screwball.

Oh, Harry,

how can you say that?

He may be a little eccentric,

but... excuse me, father.

It's time we washed our

face and hands for dinner.

Mr. Belvedere says cleanliness

is next to godliness.

We won't be long.

Need I say more?

Nope. I'm sold.

[ Both chuckling ]

I'll say good night to Roddy.

You know, Mrs. King, it's

really all your fault. Hmm?

If you weren't so darned pretty,

we wouldn't have so many

kids for people to sit with.

[ Bell tolling ]

Uh, good morning, Belvedere.

You will kindly address me

as Mr. Belvedere...

Until I Grant you permission

to drop the title,

a contingency which seems

hardly likely, Mr. Appleton.

Oh, well, really, I...

I intended no offense.

Uh, tell me, Mr. Belvedere, are you

completely happy with the Harry Kings?

Only an idiot is

completely happy anywhere.

I understand those dear little

boys are devoted to you...

And that Mrs. King considers

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