Sitting Pretty Page #5

you quite a treasure.

Indeed? Yes, indeed. And she should.

As my mother is always saying, good

servants are worth their weight in gold.

The next time your parent

makes that original observation,

tell her it's one of

the older clichs.

Yes, I will. Incidentally, my mother is very

anxious to make your acquaintance properly.

Perhaps you could drop in for a

visit on your next afternoon off.

I am not a servant, Mr. Appleton.

My afternoons are always my own.

Well, in that case, drop in

anytime for a glass of Sherry.

I dislike Sherry as much as I deplore the

habit of dropping in on people uninvited.

[ Chuckles ] But, Mr.

Belvedere, I am inviting you.

And I, sir, am declining. Good day.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Humming ]

Oh, here. Let me do

the mouth. That's awful.

Okay, mommy. We all

know you're a sculptress.

But hurry up. I wanna get this

finished before the kids get home.

Relax. They won't be

home for hours. Why?

Edna's taking them to her

house after Sunday school.

They're going to have lunch

with Susan and little bill.

Good morning,

Mr. Belvedere.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Good morning, Mrs. King.

[ Harry ] Cold enough for

you? Nippy, but it suits me.

How do you like our snowman?

Mr. King, you should have

let your wife do the face.

I did the face.

Oh, well.

It will soon melt.

[ Door closes ] What do you

suppose he had in that package?

Darling, he's been here so long,

I've given up wondering

about anything he does or has.

It made a noise. I distinctly

heard a sort of metallic ticking.

So did I.

If he's doing anything illegal, we could

get into trouble. You know that, don't you?

Do you suppose you could

see from that limb there?

You go in the house

and watch his door.

If he comes out, find

some way to warn me. Okay.

[ Cracking ]

Mr. King?

Hmm?

- [ Yells ]

- [ Branches snap ]

[ Thud ]

Ow! Take it easy,

will ya?

Kindly keep still. You're

lucky that no bones are broken.

That's a very

professional bandage.

There aren't many people

who could do that.

That's substantially what general Pershing

told me during the first world war.

You were a doctor

too? A bone specialist.

Oh. Mr. Belvedere, is there

anything you haven't been?

Yes, Mrs. King, I've never

been an idler nor a parasite.

[ Bird chirps ]

Where on earth

did that...

that, Mrs. King, was the package which

you and Mr. King stared at so pointedly.

I'm opposed to the practice of

exchanging gifts at any time.

But since you

were gracious enough...

To give me three pairs of excellent woolen

socks on the occasion of my birthday,

I tried to get something

for your anniversary...

That would give pleasure

to your entire family.

How very kind of you.

Thank you, Mr. Belvedere.

Oh, he's beautiful.

Does he sing?

Not yet, but, uh,

I shall teach him.

[ Chirps ]

Darling, will six

shirts be enough? Sure.

Oh, will you need your tux? [ Chuckles ]

Look, sweetie, I'm going to Chicago

for a few days on business, not for fun.

Oh, it's getting late. don't

worry. Bill will be here.

Edna said he has

a business date downtown,

and he'll drop you off

at the station on the way.

Let me see now.

Socks, ties.

Oh, my shaving things.

I forgot.

Hi, funny face. How's the

bath coming? All right.

You gonna miss me when

I'm gone, hmm? [ Babbling ]

What?

[ Babbling ]

Oh, don't look at me like that

and laugh. [ Both laughing ]

Are you having fun, huh?

Mr. King.

Cutie, cutie. Huh?

I've been trying to teach Roddy that

bathing is not a social function.

Kindly do not talk to him.

Now then, Roddy, put the cloth in

the right hand, like that, and wash.

[ Door closes ]

And no conversation.

I don't care how good he is. There are

times when that genius gets on my nerves.

Oh, don't be so touchy.

I'm mad about him.

Hmm. Let's see.

Pullman tickets.

Money. Oh.

[ Horn honks ]

He'll be right down. He's

saying good-bye to the kids.

Okay.

That guy's gonna miss his

train. He'd better step on it.

[ Horn honking ]

Hurry up, dear. You

haven't much time. Okay.

You boys be good now, and

don't worry your mommy too much.

We won't. Good. Keep

the home fires burning.

Bye, pop...

father.

[ Chuckles ] Good-bye, son.

Good-bye, Mr. Belvedere.

Good-bye, Mr. King,

and don't worry.

During your absence, I shall endeavor to

pinch-hit for you at every opportunity.

Thanks, Mr. Belvedere.

Yes, darling, I know we'll get

along fine. [ Horn honking ]

Hmm. Come on. They're getting impatient.

Now, call me if you have time.

Oh, yes, while you're in Chicago,

will you go by Marshall fields...

And see if they have Larry's

size in those real heavy...

what's the matter?

Forget something?

I can't go.

Why?

Well, I can't leave you

here alone with Belvedere.

Why not? Bel... are

you out of your mind?

You seem to find him

very attractive.

I find the Grand Canyon attractive, but

that doesn't mean I'm in love with it.

You just got through saying

you're mad about him.

I am.

I'm insane with passion.

Hey, do you realize what

time it is? I'm not going.

Not going?

Well, why not?

This... this pillar of virtue

has suddenly decided...

That it wouldn't be safe to leave me

alone in the house with Mr. Belvedere.

Oh, are you kidding?

That's not the point at all.

Look, I'm not suggesting that you and

Belvedere will carry on while I'm gone.

Would you feel any better about your trip if

your wife slept at our house while you're gone?

- Yes, I would. Definitely.

- All right, it's settled then.

Just think, dear, Caesar's wife

is going to sleep at our house.

Good-bye now.

Of all the silly...

well, don't I get a kiss? No.

I'm a one-man woman, and my

heart belongs to Belvedere.

Oh.

Thanks, Edna.

Good-bye.

Bye. Have a good time.

And don't you be late, bill.

I won't.

[ Door closes ]

You know, I believe

he was actually jealous.

That's very gratifying. [ Mr.

Belvedere ] Most gratifying.

Although slightly suburban.

Mr. Belvedere, don't you consider

eavesdropping a bit unethical?

Quite unethical,

but, uh, fascinating.

I particularly enjoyed your

comparing me to the Grand Canyon.

Now there's rugged grandeur.

I shall put that in my diary.

[ Groaning ]

[ Sniffles ]

Larry.

Larry.

Huh?

Wake up. What's the matter with you?

My stomach hurts.

Bad?

Yeah, awful.

You must have ate

too much for supper.

Go on back to sleep

and you'll feel better.

I can't. It hurts.

Tell mom.

How can I? You know she's been

sleeping over at the Philbys'.

But I want my mom!

Shh!

Shut up.

It's nearly 3:
00

in the morning,

and you'll wake up Roddy

and Mr. Belvedere.

I don't care.

Shh.

Look, Tony, I know. Why don't you stand

on your head like Mr. Belvedere taught us?

I already tried,

but I only threw up.

Okay. Okay. I'll wake him

up, but he won't like it.

He won't mind.

Oh, yes, he will.

He's a genius, and he needs

eight hours undisturbed sleep.

He says so all the time.

[ Groaning ]

[ Sighs ]

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