Sitting Pretty Page #7

Oh, stop ranting.

You're not in court.

Now look here, Tacey...

and stop raising your voice.

I'll raise the roof

if I want to.

Very well.

Oh, Tacey, I...

I'm willing to believe...

That all these rumors

about a drunken orgy...

In your nightclothes with Belvedere

are somewhat garbled, but...

so that's it.

Mr. Appleton's fine hand.

But, my gosh, when I came

in the house just now,

you were practically

holding him in your arms.

For heaven's sake,

you saw what I was doing.

She was merely feeling

my bone structure.

You shut up and listen.

I've been listening.

All I can hear

is a typical suburban husband...

Reacting in a typically

stupid and stuffy matter...

To a typical tempest

in a teapot.

He's right. And as for that

drunken orgy you were talking about,

Tony got us all up in the middle

of the night with a stomachache.

I dashed over from Edna's, and I

wasn't in the house a half an hour...

When that horrible little Mr.

Appleton came snooping around.

Oh. Well, I imagined

it was something like that.

Look, I'll admit

it is all pretty silly.

- Very silly.

- But...

go on.

Well, I was just thinking that

perhaps it might be simpler...

For everybody all around if... if Mr.

Belvedere sought employment elsewhere.

In other words, to satisfy

malicious gossips like Mr. Hammond,

Mr. Appleton and his awful mother,

you want to kick Mr. Belvedere out.

[ Harry ]

In a word, yes.

That is your final decision,

Mr. King?

Yes. I'm sorry,

but that's final.

No, daddy, no!

Please let him stay.

Please, daddy.

don't go, Mr. Belvedere.

Please! Shh. Quiet, quiet.

Your father's not the type to be

swayed by sentimental pleading.

don't let him go, daddy.

Please!

We love Mr. Belvedere.

don't go, uncle Lynn.

don't ever again, as long as

you live, dare to call me uncle.

By no stretch of the imagination could

I possibly be a relative of yours.

My name is Mr. Belvedere.

Is that clear?

Yes.

Yes, sir?

Yes, sir.

That's better.

[ Roddy screams ]

[ Crying ]

What the heck

is the matter with him?

Children are psychic,

Mr. King.

They can sense

impending disaster.

[ Screaming continues ]

Okay, I know when I'm licked.

All right, all right,

he can stay. Shut up!

[ Screaming stops ]

[ Bird chirping ]

[ Orchestra ]

Harry wasn't so dumb

to stay home.

I could scalp him for talking

me into coming to this thing.

What that lecturer knows about child

psychology could be engraved on a peanut.

Talking about peanuts, you

hungry? Yes, and thirsty too.

What about going in here

for a snack?

A little bit expensive,

isn't it?

Yes, but the music's worth it.

Come on. Let's splurge.

[ Continues ]

[ Ends ]

Hey, look, Mr. Belvedere.

It's Mrs. King and Mrs. Philby.

It is indeed. Well, they

better not see us here together.

I'll blow. You have wisdom

beyond your years, my dear.

Thanks very much for these notes.

They'll be invaluable to me.

You are a mine of information.

Oh, that's all right.

Well, so long, and, uh,

thanks for the ham sandwich.

And coffee, please.

Right away.

Look.

Well, I'll be darned.

That's very funny.

I've often wondered what he

did with his evenings off.

Uh-oh, he's coming over.

You'd better get rid of him.

You don't wanna start

those tongues wagging again.

On the contrary, I'd like to

give them something to wag about.

Good evening.

Hello, Mr. Belvedere.

Mrs. Philby. May I join you? Of course.

Yes, please do.

Thank you.

I-I suppose I should make it

clear that I'm very sorry...

That I've neither the means nor the

presumption to pay for your refreshments.

Oh, that's perfectly all right.

Edna and I always go Dutch too.

[ Continues ]

Oh, I just love this number.

I adore dancing,

but bill simply loathes it.

So does Harry.

Do you dance too, Mr. Belvedere?

I dance extremely well.

I suppose you learned

from Arthur Murray.

No, I taught Arthur Murray.

Would you care to dance,

Mrs. King? Oh, I'd love to.

Excuse us.

Good-bye.

Good-bye.

Oh, Mrs. Frisbee, I cannot begin to

tell you how much I enjoyed your lecture.

Oh, thank you, Mr. Appleton. And I

know that my dear mother enjoyed it too.

What did you say, Clarence? Speak

up! I was telling Mrs. Frisbee...

oh, this darned thing's

on the blink again.

Mr. Belvedere,

you dance divinely.

Yes, I do.

[ Harry exhales ]

[ Exhales ]

[ Grumbles ]

Hello, darling.

You're kinda late, aren't you?

We were hungry. We stopped and had

a bite to eat. And you know what?

Good lecture?

Horrible.

Then what did you stay

so long for?

Well, darling, if you'll turn

around and listen, I'll tell you why.

Oh, no, I'm sleepy.

But... but, darling, I want

to tell you what happened.

Yeah, well, tell me

in the morning.

Okay. Happy dreams. [ Grunts ]

Yes, Mr. Hammond? Harry, will

you step in here a moment?

Right away.

Yes?

Sit down, Harry.

Harry, the firm of Horatio

J. Hammond and associates...

Has a spotless name

in this community.

So?

So, I consider it mandatory...

For all those connected with

the firm and their families...

Never to incur the slightest

gossip of a scandalous nature.

Are you still harping about those stupid

rumors that started while I was in Chicago?

I do not harp.

That was quite awhile ago.

I am now referring to an incident

which took place only last night.

A most deplorable incident,

which has just come to my ears.

Involving whom?

Involving your wife, Harry,

and involving this Belvedere,

whom you are sheltering.

Now look here, Mr. Hammond,

this has gone far enough.

If you will sit down, Harry, I

will furnish you with full details.

Harry, it hurts me deeply

to tell you this, but...

[ tires skid ]

Hello, darling.

You're home early.

Why didn't you tell me you were out

dancing with this man last night?

Now what have you heard?

Answer my question.

Why didn't you tell me?

Because you were sleepy and disagreeable

when I got home and wouldn't listen.

I tried to tell you. Then why didn't

you tell me this morning at breakfast?

I can be sleepy

and disagreeable too.

Our meeting was purely coincidental,

Mr. King, but most enjoyable.

Then you admit it. Certainly.

Moreover, he dances like a Saint.

I don't care if he dances like

Saint Vitus himself. What about me?

You dance very badly, dear.

Look, Tacey, your conduct is making me

the laughingstock of hummingbird hill.

Why, Mr. Hammond practically gave

me an ultimatum that if I didn't...

stop shredding that lettuce!

Life must go on, Mr. King.

Yeah, well, it's not going

on with you in the house.

Harry, I think you'd better

pull yourself together...

And apologize to both of us

for this ridiculous scene.

Apologize? I should apologize

because of your indiscretions?

Very well.

Until you come to your senses and

stop letting Mr. Hammond run our lives,

I'm going to take Roddy

and go home to mother.

Go right ahead. It's

perfectly all right with me.

[ Scoffs ]

It would be hard to tell which

of you is behaving more foolishly,

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