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saying, "Oh, my God. What's that over in the crater? What the hell is

that?"

Well, NASA cuts him off just like that.

But those of us with the right kind of radios, you know what I mean?

Yeah, we got enough of it. The gist of it was...

there's a giant spacecraft over in the other crater, looking at them.

That's right. Oh, it all begins to leak out then...

that the space program's just one giant big cover-up.

It's a covert operation between the United States government and the Soviet

Union.

It's been going on for over 30 years.

We've been on the moon since the '50s.

You wanna know how we got there, right?

I'll tell you.

Anti-grav drive. Anti-gravity technology.

We stole it from the Nazis after the end of World War II. It's perfectly obvious.

And you know, I was watching this Late, Late Show.

A lot of truth in the Late, Late Show. You know, they slip it through

there, they figure nobody's watching, but -

Anyway, there's this sci-fi movie called Alternative Three.

And, uh, it's about kidnapping people, using a little psycho-surgery on

them...

and, uh, turn them into zombies.

And making them colonize the moon and Mars.

Funny, huh?

Except it's absolutely true, all of it.

We've been on Mars since '62.

It was May 22nd. That's a very important date for you to remember, pal.

- Yeah, that's my birthday. - Right. So, see...

the reason we're up there covertly is because of the greenhouse effect.

It all ties in. Yeah, greenhouse effect.

By the way, they discovered that in the '40s.

You can ask yourself what they've been doing sitting on their ass for 49 years,

huh?

While we're out here with some serious social diseases and everything

else.

Oh, never mind that. Everybody says...

"Greenhouse effect. A hundred years from now.

Oh, I'll be long dead, gone and out of here. "

Not so, my friend. Not so.

The government's sitting on the fact that it's 10-20 years maximum.

It's getting hotter, don't you think?

Yeah, it's not even summer yet.

Yeah, and when the polar ice caps begin to melt...

it's not gonna take a certified genius to understand that we're in

serious global confusion.

I mean, really, we're in massive mainline ecological chaos.

Anyway, it's happening even as we speak.

So, I'll tell you what they've already done.

They've colonized outer space.

Oh, they couldn't colonize everybody. No, no.

That would be global bankruptcy.

We couldn't beat the greenhouse effect anyway.

This secret group, you know, the group that's in charge of the government -

Oh, yeah. They're gonna get boosted off this rock before it melts.

And the rest of us, what do they care?

We're gonna be left here to fry.

By the way, there's something you should know.

You see, this entire operation's being funded...

by the profits from the Medelln drug cartel.

And they're specifically set up by the C.I. A...

to handle large sums of money being funneled into this project.

Keep it under your hat.

The people they need, like scientists. You heard about that?

All the missing scientists around the world, and those that are

mysteriously dying...

that's all part of the recruiting process.

I really hope your friend is not, well -

Well, they need a lot of lackeys to do the labor though.

So they'll be looking for ordinary guys.

You know, just like you and me.

Yeah, they need those to kind of colonize things.

You know, they do a little psycho-surgery on us, a little liquid lobotomy

here.

Well. And I know this for a fact.

They got this drug down in Guatemala in the rain forest.

Why do you think the C.I.A.'s down there hacking the hell out of

that forest, huh?

Make sense? Sure it does.

Yeah, this drug takes away your long-term memory...

leaves your short-term memory, so there you are.

You got people that don't know who they are, where they came from...

but you tell them to do something, and they do it.

They can follow instructions. Perfect employees.

- Sounds like most people I know. - So.

They must like children too, because...

the statistics of the F.B.I. Since 1980...

said that 350,000 children are just missing.

They disappeared.

There are not that many perverts around.

You know the worst thing about this, pal?

Is that you're in close proximity to all this.

You know, I mean, Houston's right down the road.

You know, the main headquarters. NASA.

Sure, in the main headquarters, around the world...

All right, look. I gotta go see this friend of mine, okay?

- Yeah, right in here. - Is this it? Okay.

Anyway, look, pal. It's been nice talking to you.

I really hope your friend isn't one of them already.

- I'm sure he's not. - Yeah, well.

- I just thought you had the right to know. - Thanks.

Tell you what, listen. I'm gonna stick around outside, just for a little

while...

kind of make sure everything's okay.

You know, make sure we weren't followed.

Have a nice day.

- Hi, how you doing? - All right.

- How's it going? - Fine.

- Matter of fact, where are you going? - Going home.

Oh, you live here. Okay, sure. Well.

Just a little security check. There've been some people missing.

Nothing to worry about, pal. Okay, you gotta go.

I mean, you're in a hurry. That makes perfect sense.

Things are speeding up here at the end.

Gotcha.

What a day, what a day.

The thing is, the media's trying to hold up this whole one-party,

two-faction system...

by telling you that George Bush got this mandate with 54% of the vote.

And thatjust doesn't take into account the whole population of the country.

They say that 50.3%, in the media...

they say 50.3% of the eligible population participated in the '88

election.

But I think the figure's a hell of a lot lower than that. You gotta consider.

Prisoners. We got more people incarcerated in this country...

than any other country in Western history.

Noncitizens, the underage, the overage, people too old to get to the polls.

People out in rural areas. People who don't have addresses.

I mean, to be conservative, the figure's more like 35%.

So Bush got 54% of 35%. What's that, 18%?

Maybe 18% of the people in this country support him.

That's nothing. That's nothing. That's not a mandate.

- The people in Nazi Germany had- - You guys done male bonding yet?

Nazi Germany in 1932, the Nazis had maybe 34-38%.

And somebody like Pinochet who's already out of there back in Chile...

that guy's got maybe 34-43% of the vote.

So 18% is nothing.

Itjust seems like one day it's gonna dawn on everybody...

that this large nonvoting majority has been winning every election...

for the past three decades.

And the people who win these elections are gonna be too ashamed...

or better yet, too afraid to even take power at all.

Oh, hey. Ow, man.

- Uh, Paul's moved, man. - Where did he go?

I don't know. It's like he split, man.

He's like - He disappeared. Nobody knows where he is.

But, uh, his room is, like, totally empty.

It's got everything moved out.

And on the floor there's these postcards just sitting there.

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