Slacker Page #4

You might be able to stimulate some thought in yourself...

you know, switch your gestalt so that you might have some perception...

and be able to see our way out of this.

Alleviate suffering, make us enjoy it or something, you know.

I mean, we're walking around here right now, and it's really time for us to

take action.

All right? We're being taxed out of our asses...

to pay for a monopoly on guns by people to oppress us already.

I'm saying if I'm gonna pay taxes on guns and weapons...

that I at least wanna possess them, because I have work for them right

now.

I have some very serious work for them. Something very permanent about death.

- We gotta go. - Remember...

terrorism's the surgical strike capability of the oppressed.

- Thanks. - Keep on keepin' on.

You everjust want to get the hell out of this country?

- And go where? - I don't know, anywhere.

It doesn't matter. Just some other place.

I don't know.

I've traveled.

And all it is is bad water, bad food, you get sick.

You gotta deal with strange people.

And when you get back, you can't tell whether it really happened to you...

or you just saw it on TV.

We finally got out of the terrific heat of the Red Sea into the Indian Ocean.

It was just a few degrees cooler.

And then as we got toward Bombay, a wonderful thing happened.

There was a breeze blowing out to sea.

And it brought the scent of spices out to us three miles out from shore.

A great wall of incense and spices.

And it was as if we were being wafted into shore on a magic carpet.

The next person who passes us...

will be dead within a fortnight.

- Paper? - No, thank you.

Two-for-one special.

- No. I don't - - Well.

- Hey, have you got change? - You've got a strong back. Get a job.

No, I mean. I have a dollar. I was wondering if I could get change for-

Change. I've got change.

You should quit. Quit.

You should quit. You should quit.

- You should quit. - Howdy.

- What do you need? - Can I have a cup of coffee?

Quit following me. You heard me: Quit following me.

You should never, never, never, never, never traumatizing.

You should never- You should never-

You, you, you -

You should - You should -You -

You should never traumatize a woman sexually. I should know.

I'm a medical doctor.

You should never traumatize.

You should never name things in order.

You should have to label the order-

Hey, cool it down over here.

Ordering. Ordering one, one.

Toothpicks, toothpicks. Toothpick labeling.

- A large coffee to go. - Quit, quit.

You should quit. You should quit.

You should- You should-

You should quit traumatizing women with sexual intercourse.

I should know. I'm a medical doctor.

I own a mansion and a yacht.

You should quit traumatizing women...

with sexual intercourse.

I should know. I'm a medical doctor.

You should quit. You should quit. You should -

You should quit traumatizing women with sexual intercourse.

I should know. You should quit traumatizing women with sexual intercourse.

I should know. I'm a medical doctor.

I should know. You should quit.

You should never, never know. You never know.

Hey, watch where the hell you're going.!

See, I'm a drifter from Texas.

I smoke a lot of pot. Sometimes I trip out to acid.

And, uh, wow, it's like the most horrible scene.

Now you tell me how you can live in an apartment...

with the pieces of a person rotting away, with decay and not know it.

I was totally sick during that period.

So you didn't kill her, but you did carve her up?

- No. - Who carved her up?

There was, like, three people involved in the carving.

So you're denying that you killed her...

and you're denying that you took part in carving her up?

- Washing bones. - Why were you washing bones?

- They were smelly. - Then why didn't you tell the police-

God, that is so gross.

Hmm?

I said it's nice outside. We should go do something.

- Like what? - Well, there is a lake in this town.

We could go out there. We could go out to the hills.

We could go to the park and play Frisbee.

I hate sh*t like that.

All that nature.

And the sunlight's so oppressive now.

And you don't just go to the lake. You have to prepare for it.

You have to get suntan lotion and insecticide.

It's like premeditated fun.

It's too hot outside anyway.

You know, did it ever occur to you that maybe you're what's oppressive?

I mean, "Let's never go out. Let's never venture out of this

one-square-mile area. "

You're just what they want.

Look.

If you're so eager and all fired up...

to get out of the house today, why don't you do that?

Why don't you go to the drugstore and cash a check...

and go to the Kmart and buy a Frisbee.

It takes two people to play Frisbee.

Well, buy a boomerang.

Better yet, I got an idea.

I know something that we could do together...

and we wouldn't have to leave the house, and we wouldn't have to buy

anything.

That's the one thing that would be more effective on my own.

- Oh, yeah? - They're back.

Whoa!

All right!

Come on, guys. We're wasting time.

- Hey, you want a Coke? - Half price.

- Diet Coke and Diet Sprite. - Diet Coke.

Hey, come on, man. This sh*t's getting heavy.

- Come on. - No, bug off. I don't want one.

- Lighten up a little, why don't you? - F*** off, kid.

- Diet Coke? - Man, you guys got...

horrible attitudes.

This is it. Put the typewriter right there.

- So what do we do now? I'm really late. - First of all, give him the tent.

Now recite exactly what I told you to say and throw the tent in.

This was her tent.

- I f***ed her in this tent. - A little more feeling.

I f***ed her in this tent.

She's probably gonna f*** a lot of other guys.

She's off to a good start.

But she's not gonna f*** 'em in this tent.

- She's not gonna f*** 'em in this tent. - She's not gonna f*** 'em in this

tent.

Throw it in.

Now the typewriter.

- Come on, man. - I don't wanna throw the typewriter in.

You gotta throw the typewriter in. That's why we brought it here.

I been thinking about it. I don't want to throw it in.

- This is juvenile. - Here, you shut up.

When he throws the typewriter in, read the passage that's marked in

the book.

Look, man. This is stupid. I'm not gonna throw it in, man.

Why in the hell is he throwing it in? It's a perfectly good typewriter.

The typewriter isn't the point. The point is it symbolizes the b*tch that

just f***ed him over.

It symbolizes the b*tch that f***ed me over six months ago.

And it symbolizes the b*tch that's gonna f*** you over.

F*** you. I don't wanna read your book.

- Here. You read it. - I'm not gonna read this f***in' book.

It will make a lot more sense if you read it.

- I'm not gonna - - Hey! Goddamn!

See how easy that was?

- No problem. Now, just - - Dick.

It all makes sense if you just read this passage here.

What did you do with the bookmark?

I didn't do anything with the bookmark.

- There wasn't one in there. - This is when Leopold discovers...

that he's just been f***ed over by his wife.

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