Slamma Jamma Page #8

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- JEROME:
You got this, kid.

- Oh, God.

Keep it goin'. You can do it.

- Yeah.

- Let's go, let's go.

- Pick up those knees.

- Let's go.

Yeah. Let's go. Higher.

Higher!

Here we go. Higher! Let's go, Diggs!

- Yeah.

- JEROME:
Come on, man.

Seriously, that's not gonna

beat The Jammer. Let's go!

- Gotta work!

- Quicker, baby.

Come on, Michael. You're not gonna beat him

- if you're not working. Let's go!

- BRANDON:
Quicker, baby. Quicker!

Hold it out. Hold it out.

That's good. Come on, man. Too simple.

Okay.

Let's go.

Explosive. Explosive. There you go.

- BRANDON:
Try to get lower.

- JEROME:
Let's go.

(EXCLAIMING)

- Lower, lower.

- Keep going.

Feel it.

- Move it, baby.

- Nice work.

Come on, let's go.

(CHEERING)

JEROME:
There we go. Come on.

Let's get in there.

Let's get in there.

Let's hear it for him.

Let's hear it for him.

Come on. Come on. Clap. Clap.

(CHEERING)

- Whew!

- (ALL PANTING)

Come on, man, you're too slow.

You're slower than my grandpa.

Whatever.

Your grandpa's, like, 75 years

old. I don't see the comparison.

- Bro. It's a metaphor.

- Okay, well...

What's that?

He's not, like, literally...

Never mind.

Well, they're gonna have the best

dunkers in the world there, Michael.

- Yeah, I know.

- Yeah.

They got that one, that German dude.

Frankie Fudengurstgleen...

Frigginsurspleek...

- Frick... Frick...

- Hey, just... Just stop.

- (LAUGHING)

- How you feeling, man? You good?

- I'm good.

- You still got the hops, man.

You know you got to come

with that one killer dunk

to take it all, you know that, right?

Yeah, I know. I've been

thinkin' about something.

I just haven't attempted it yet.

Why not?

Well, it's impossible to do.

BRANDON:
Impossible?

Yeah.

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS) Impossible.

Impossible? Which one is that?

It's a 540 dunk. No

one's been able to do it.

TAMMY:
A 540? What's that?

It's a 360 with an extra loop.

- It's impossible.

- TAMMY:
No way.

ANNOUNCER:
Everybody,

what time is it?

Here we go!

- (CHEERING)

- (MUSIC PLAYING)

Make some noise,

y'all! Coming up next.

Make some noise!

Welcome to the International Slam

Dunk Competition, Slamma Jamma,

where we have a one million dollar

first place prize for the winner.

The world's best dunkers are here, Bob.

LINDA:
We have a newcomer, Michael Diggs,

who many remember served six years in jail.

Is there room for redemption?

That's another story.

(CROWD CHEERING)

Let's go. Round one.

The Jammer, Round one.

The Jammer from Canada,

people. Let's go.

Clap. Clap. Clap. Cartwheel.

You way too special for

this competition, boy.

This is nationals.

I'll be surprised if you

even come in 10th place.

BRANDON:
Hey!

- Chill, man.

- The Jammer.

Think you're all cool making

millions, being a world-class dunker,

havin' all the girls chasing you?

Well, you still be just

a high school dropout.

High school dropout?

I got my Masters in education.

What are you talking about?

Oh, yeah?

Well, can you make five tacos

blindfolded in one minute?

Yeah. I bet you can't do that.

(LAUGHING)

Got him.

Round one! The Jammer...

TV ANNOUNCER:
Okay.

The Jammer has never lost a dunk

competition in three years, guys.

- ANNOUNCER:
Clap. Clap. Clap. Cartwheel!

- Wow.

- Out of the seat! Out of the seat!

- TV ANNOUNCER:
Unbelievable!

What a dunk! Oh, man.

All tens. Jammer is now in first place.

Wow, incredible dunk.

Jos Marks from Argentina.

Everybody, let's go, make some noise.

TV ANNOUNCER:
Up next is Jos Marks,

winner of the Argentina dunk competition.

- Great dunk!

- KENNY:
Hey!

Let's go, fans. Clap,

clap, clap, clap.

Up... Between the legs dunk!

Whoo!

Man, that was nasty!

Okay, ladies and gentlemen...

TV ANNOUNCER:
Next up is Michael Diggs,

the former college champion

who spent six years in prison.

A real tragedy.

And Michael, of course, placed

second in the local dunk competition.

But these are the world's greatest dunkers

vying for that million-dollar prize.

And I think Michael Diggs should

count himself lucky to be here.

KENNY:
Give it up. Give

it up. Michael Diggs.

Michael. Michael. Michael! Michael!

Michael! Michael! Michael! Michael!

(CROWD CHEERING)

- Ah! 360!

- TV ANNOUNCER:
Incredible dunk!

- LINDA:
Oh, my... Wow!

- TV ANNOUNCER:
Spectacular dunk!

Oh, that will ensure he

gets to the next round.

Next up. Frank Frondheim from Germany!

BILL:
Frank Frondheim has a 48 vertical

leap. He's the best dunker in Germany.

KENNY:
Coming up...

TV ANNOUNCER:
What is he doing?

KENNY:
He don't like

it. He don't like it.

This guy's too short. He

wants to add a chair in there.

What is he gonna do?

MAN:
Go higher!

- KENNY:
He wants to go higher.

- TV ANNOUNCER:
This is crazy.

He's gonna jump over that guy?

(EXCLAIMING AND CHEERING)

Amazing. The German is now

in first place over Jammer.

KENNY:
Goodness! Clap it

up. Clap it up. Clap it up!

How about a round

of applause, please?

Wow!

TV ANNOUNCER:
Wow, that was fantastic.

KENNY:
Whoo! Perfect tens!

And now...

TV ANNOUNCER:
Whoa. What's Craig

Jackson doing? The NBA star?

Get off the roll, punk!

Look, I'm tired of all y'all people out

here cheering for these whack dunkers

like they're really doin' somethin'.

You all know what's

up. Yeah, you heard me.

It's about time Craig

Jackson came out here.

I'm in the dunk contest, homie.

Sir, no, no. The rules clearly state

an NBA player cannot be

part of the competition.

Look, man... Bro, give me the

rules. Bro, give me the rules.

I don't care about your

rules. I'm in the dunk contest.

Your rules, I break 'em.

That's what it is, homie.

- Okay.

- I'm making the rules.

We need to check with the judges.

Yeah, go check with your

little judges, homie.

Dang. Is y'all ready or what?

Let me hear it. Make some noise.

I see you. Hey, you

got that jersey on?

- It looks...

- Hey!

What are you doing?

Lisa, get out of my face, man!

- What you always coming up on me for?

- It's not right!

You trippin' 'cause you

think your little boyfriend

gonna lose, that a real one here?

Please, don't do this.

You got one choice. Listen to me.

You got one choice.

You drop that fool Michael

and come back with me, and we good.

I'm out of the contest.

Otherwise, suffer the

consequences with him.

He needs the money!

I don't care nothin' about that.

TV ANNOUNCER:
Now, as

you know, Craig Jackson

is the three-time NBA slam dunk champion.

KENNY:
Let's go. Let's get it.

Ready? Clap. Clap. Clap. Clap. Clap!

TV ANNOUNCER:
Unbelievable!

They're letting Craig

Jackson in the competition.

KENNY:
Craig Jackson,

everybody. Get up!

(KENNY CHEERING)

Yay! Between the legs,

over the dude with the nasty dunk.

Craig Jackson, ladies and gentlemen.

TV ANNOUNCER:
And the

judges give Craig all nines.

A 27 for Mr. Jackson.

What you gonna do? What you gonna do? Huh?

KENNY:
And the

competition is heating up.

- CRAIG:
Gonna stand there like a punk?

- KENNY:
Craig Jackson,

Michael Diggs.

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